55 year old woman, 3 grown kids. Admits she's an alcoholic but "not ready" to stop.
Family and friends are very worried about her safety.
Black-outs.
Has urinated in public street, elevator, bar, family function, etc.
Has been known to stay at bars by herself and had the bartender send her home in a cab.
Husband in denial (we think) or just doesn't care. Doesn't want to talk about it. Any suggestions?
2006-12-16 02:27:53 · 5 answers · asked by Brody's wife 1 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
I am a recovering alcoholic and I think it is true what people are saying about having to be ready to want to quit. I think pointing out to someone who doesn't know they are an alcoholic can get them thinking about it enough to want to stop or cut back. But if she accepts that she is sick and doesn't want to change I doubt an intervention will help.
I like the idea of videotaping her when she's bad off and people around her are horrified or laughing or whatever might be embarrassing.
Alcoholism is a disease, a mental one and a physical one. If she is so dangerous that she is a danger to herself or others (like by driving) you might be able to have her committed for a 3 day observation period while a psychiatrist evaluates her. That might be enough of a kick in the head to get her going. I don't know what jurisdictions will allow a committal for alcoholism but it may be worth a try. The police will know if it's something that can be done.
The other option I see is to protect yourself legally. In many, many jurisdictions if you know someone is driving drunk and you don't report it, YOU are criminally and civilly liable for whatever she does and you could go to jail. So I'd suggest you have to start reporting her and get more officials involved in her life. Maybe that could do something as well too.
Good luck.
2006-12-16 14:08:12 · answer #1 · answered by Avalon 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do you know what bars she frequents? If you do and if possible, talk to the manager, the bartender whatever and somehow get across to them to not serve this woman. At family functions, keep alcohol out of the equation. Don't make it so accessible to her. It's sad that the husband doesn't want to deal with it. I'm not sure how else to advise you but there are organizations which can help. There's organizations to support family members of alcoholics. Just look 'em up in your phone book (al-anon or something like that).
2006-12-16 10:38:20 · answer #2 · answered by Sunidaze 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She's 55 and doesn't WANT to change. Admitting you are an alcoholic is good, not wanting to change (especially at that age) is bad. That means she's still enjoying it for one reason or another. Nothing you or anyone else can say or do will help, if she refuses. Try to talk her into rehab is all you can do. It might last for awhile, but I doubt it, sorry to say.
2006-12-16 10:40:05 · answer #3 · answered by INDRAG? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Until she is ready to quit it won't do any good. Send someone around to follow her with a video camera and then confront her privately
The only intervention I know of that took place for a friend of mine ended up with her suicide - so you need professionals to guide you in this dilemma or you may do more harm than good.
2006-12-16 10:35:59 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
there is no real way to help her...she will die or get sober. she may never be ready. Sorry to be the one that says that, but the truth hurts...try alanon. they can help you.
2006-12-17 12:52:42 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋