Last weekend my gf of a month and I had a really bad date. She found out some bad news about her sister earlier in the day (who I have not met yet) and we started of the evening with a major miscommunication that I apologized for immediately. The rest of the evening she was cold, critical and distant, and was the same on the last date I had with her as well. I am worried she wants to break up with me and is holding off until I finish my grad school finals. But if that were the case, why would she still be hanging out with me? Nevertheless, I miss the girl who used to be so affectionate and greet me with hugs and kisses. What can do to bring that spark in her eyes back? She is so distant now and refuses to bring up her sister and had me promise not to bring it up (I have no idea what the news was). I just don't know what to do, I was falling in love with her but I don't know how much more of the lack of intimacy I can take. I want her affection back, I miss the her b4 the news
2006-12-16 01:15:31 · 8 answers · asked by MichiganFan 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I am 27 and she is 28, I am thinking of showing up tonight with some pink roses and some chocolates
2006-12-16 01:15:59 · update #1
you know she's going though a hard time right now. i think that you should maybe plan a date where its only you and her but not in a room more like a picnic to show her that you care about her.
and also talk to her about what going on with her life at this point, andt tell her that your there for what ever she needs! sometimes when girls get upset they just want somebody to confurt them. ok i hoped i help good luck n have fun !
2006-12-16 01:24:25 · answer #1 · answered by *m@r! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Realize for all your problems with this girl or any girl, love is not something you fall into or out of. Love is the energy you use to maintain positive intentions and actions toward anyone. Everyone always has it, we just do not always use it. It must first be something you've become habitual with giving yourself or else the lack of it from others will create a false impression on your heart that you are without it. What you mean is that you were really enjoying her positive loving energy and would like to see her flow with it again. The only way you can help her is to continue to let love guide all your actions and words with her. You have to accept that only she can open up and allow her love to flow or to accept the love that is around her. If she is blinded by her emotions you can only be the light that helps her find her way. You have a relationship with a person because you can both flow together in love but if for long periods of time one of you does not allow the love to flow the relationship will die. Accept that you only have the here and now with her and do not put so much pressure on your future. It will help you decide whether or not you want to be the strength it is going to take to help her see how much love is within herself and all around her.
2006-12-16 01:25:07 · answer #2 · answered by Love to Love 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont press her for an explanation about her sister, now. Give her time to herself for a few days, and maintain contact with her without being overtly sympathetic, but keep your relations as normal as can be. She will surely get over her mood due to her sister's problem, very soon, and slowly resume normalcy with you soon. Everyone goes through some crises in life sometime or the other, and it is better to bear with it. Unfortunate this happened to you so soon after your acquaintance with this girl. Hope for the best.
Avoid present s such as roses at this point of time.
2006-12-16 01:30:15 · answer #3 · answered by greenhorn 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you should write her a beautiful letter and give her chocolates and flowers. In the letter tell her how much you care and that you are there for her to comfort her and to listen.
I think she has a lot on her mind. Be patient and show her that you care. It is not about you. Her emotions are about another situation and she cannot just put it aside when with you.
Relationships have there ups and downs. People hurt and it affects the way that they behave. As a woman I can tell you that when I am in pain I need to know that I can rely on my husband to be supportive and kind to me.
I know it is early days for you but it will be worth while if you show her that you care, do not go overboard though.
2006-12-16 01:25:42 · answer #4 · answered by JAM 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
as you dont know what the news was about her sister the chances are it isnt about you but about something she isnt ready to share with you,,give it a little time and instead of just showing up maybe give her a call saying you guess she needs some time but if she needs to talk about anything,,in confidence,,you are there,,she may have a lot on her plate and dating isnt taking her mind off of it so she is distant,,dont panic unless you feel you need to by what she says.
2006-12-16 01:26:20 · answer #5 · answered by lex 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she obviously has more of an issue with it than she is leading on, and maybe she doesnt feel she "knows" you enough to talk about it. Give her some space...maybe thats all she really needs. Tell her " I noticed you havent been yourself lately, and I miss the old you, when your ready to talk I'll be hear with open arms and ears" . Let me know the outcome
2006-12-16 01:35:02 · answer #6 · answered by Ava 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its only been a month, dont get so involved. give her some space tell her to get back to you after she sorts out her problems
2006-12-16 01:20:42 · answer #7 · answered by suzzie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she's breaking up with you to date someone from the university of florida...(go gators!)
2006-12-16 01:23:16 · answer #8 · answered by italianone70 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋