how doy i tell my parents im gay?

Answer 1

You should first find out (or probably know by now) if they are homophobic. Most parents I assume are very accepting of people of any sexual orientation. And if your parents are like that then you should have no problem in doing so. However I assume thats not the case, because you asked it on here.

Sooner or later they have to know. I dont have any experience in these kinds of situations, but just tell them that you are going through a 'phase' right now in your life, and that you are confused about your sexual orientation (the confusion may not be the case, but I'm sure parents can handle it better when you tell it this way), and that as a result, you are in love with another guy. But be sure to tell them that no matter what you will always love them, and that you wished they would support whatever you do.

At first they might despise you. But later on they will realise that you are their child, and that they have to love you no matter what.

Good Luck!!

Answer 2

I can't compare my thoughts with all the wonderful, caring and helpful answers already on the board but I can give you a bit of advise. Wait til after the Holidays to come out to your family. Holidays are stressful as it is and there is so much going on around the house at that time. Choose a time that is ordinary and serene this way you'll have a calm atmosphere to discuss your situation. Good Luck.

Answer 3

If you have a loving, honest, open relationship with your parents, that will help.

Explain that coming out is like an onion -- there are always more levels to peel off. And at this time you are comfortable with who you are, and who you are is a gay person. Yes, you still are the loving child to your parents. They (and you) need to understand that sexuality is just one part of who you are.

Good luck to you.

Answer 4

how old are you, and do you still live at home? do you have any idea how your parents feel about gay people? I have to admit, I was a scared teenager when I realized I was lesbian, and afraid to come out...I had always heard stories of parents kicking their kids out. I know now that most of the time, this doesn't happen. I waited until long after I moved out and had a good job...and my family turned out to be pretty supportive of me.
but, only YOU know when you are ready, and comfortable with who you are. check out HRC's page about coming out...it may help.

Answer 5

First and foremost, Your parents love you and you are their son! My advice for you is to call your nearest PFLAG chapter (Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays) and ask them how they can help you. They will definitely steer you in the right direction.

Good luck and be strong.

Answer 6

You don't say how old you are and whether you still live with your parents or not. So let me assume that you are younger man at home with the family.

First you need to have all your ducks in a row. Have a plan if things don't go well, though they may eventually come to accept you need to think of the short term. Do you have a place to go if they tell you leave?

Have the 'discussion' planned out in advance, don't just try to wing it. Know what it is you want to tell them, think of the questions they will have (and they will have questions) and have answeres thoguht out in advance.

Pick the right time. A time when there aren't a thousand other things pushing and pulling the family. Pick a time when you know that they are relaxed and not stressed, and that the news won't feel like you are just piling on to their burdens. You want them to be supportive, not to feel assaulted.

Your parents are human too. They aren't immune to reacting in ways you may not like. Some parents will grieve, yes grieve, because they have known you a certain way and that image has gone. Allow that, help them to understand that the loss of one image is replaced by a healthier person, who is honest and open with them.. DON'T dismiss this notion of grief...its real.

Some may react with anger, confusion, guilt (what did we do wrong) or feel you need help. Others might have spiritual issues that they will wrestle with. Allow them room to react how they do, but be prepared for those reactions, arm your self with facts, with conviction and more importantly with assurance that this is best for you, to be the man you were meant to be, that the alternative would be to live a lie.

Remember, you had your entire life to come to accept this part of who you are, don't expect them to be able to make the transition right away. Allow them time to adjust and accept. Some may take more time than others. Whatever their reaction is, for most parents its based in love for you.

Don't argue, learn to walk away if the situation breaks down completely, and decide if you want to revisit the situation again.

Don't let their words wound you. Things may be said that will seem hurtful, allow them some room to react badly, it isn't all about you, its about them too and they will not always behave according to your wishes, thats being human. Show grace, even if they have lost it themself.

Remember, you are also coming out, so don't think of this just as a one time event. You are evolving, don't try to rush everything into one conversation. Don't assume they will be comfortable with meeting your BF that afternoon, or seeing you in a gay enviorment.

Don't tell too much. But be prepared to answer all questions honestly without being graphic. They WIIL ask weird off the wall questions, dont laugh at them show grace, and be sincere, they were in asking.

Assure them (and be damn sure you know) you know about hiv/aids and safer sex. Assure them that you are careful. Assure them you know the world is not gay friendly, but you are strong enough to handle that. Assure them that you will still always be their son and this does not affect how you love them, in fact this removes a barrier between you and them.

If they are receptive, turn them on to PFLAG. Excellent group for families, a support network that helps families deal with the issue of gay children and accepting them. There are chapters in almost every major town and city.

Your parents love you, in their hearts they want what is best for you. Help them see that this is in fact what is best for you, and you want them to know because you don't want to keep living a lie with those you love the most.

Good luck guy.

Answer 7

Ok so I am guessing you are young and not able to support yourself financially. If thats the case then it might be best not to tell them right now. Just play it cool and don't even hint about it. Mainly because you do not know if they will accept you or not. So better not to take the risk right now. Maybe when you are able to deal with the rejection then tell them. I am not saying that they might reject you but if that does happen you will atleast be able to take care of yourself then.

Answer 8

first of all let them ask u if ur gay then tell them r if u think they r suspect thst ur gay just tell them most of the time they take it esay an some just freak out so u'll no which category u fall under

Answer 9

u should probably do it like this 'omg that guy is so hottt' hehehe that would be so funny i need to tell them soon :P...im probably not the best person to give advice on this matter since im not out either :) but oh well take it or leave it...i'm dead serious about 'that guy is hot' part but on a more serious note you should sit them down and get it over with tell them 'mum, dad im gay' they will probably shock at first or not they might have known already either way see what happens after that....there's not much u can do once u told them. sit and wait :)

you can also try to give them hints....but that takes forever and maybe they wont get ur hints .....if u dont say the words they aint gonna ask u my parents kinda found some porn i have but they didnt ask if im gay or not.....if u dont say it 'im gay' they wont do it for u...ur friends might but not ur parents. they might not want to hear it so they will just wait and think its a phase u're going through and u'll get over it :)

ps: yes gay porn lol

Answer 10

please dont listen to those first few answers.they're wrong. u shouldnt lie and tell your parents that u are confused if your not. that will give them false hope. dont do that. tell them that u didnt choose it but dont be sorry for it either. be proud and if they arent okay with it then tats their problem and eventually they will come to terms with it. if they dont ever come tot erms with it then they arent good parents. they need to know that it is natural and it happens to a lot of people. be straight forward and sit them down and tell them.