Going over mom's with my kids to get away from 12 years of abuse. I am nervous as hell. Please give me motivation!!!
2006-12-16 00:07:29 · 35 answers · asked by Veronique 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You won't regret it!!!
2006-12-16 00:10:09 · answer #1 · answered by Nicole B 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
no one needs to put up with abuse physical or mental, now is the time to start your new life, and stop the suffering u have endured. now u are free, and u are nervous because he has kept u down for so long, your self esteem is low, and u believe everything he has been saying to and about u all these years. but this is not u, u aren't defined by him, takes real courage to leave, not knowing your future, but your future will be better than your past. u are leaving a bad life, with a bad man, and this is just the start of a wonderful life for u. get a restraining order, cause he is going to try and pull u back into his world, he may make promises, and offer u the moon, but don't believe him, as he is who he is, and these things don't change not ever. my ex was a verbal abuser and a bully, even his mom knew it. i am so thankful i left, it has been 3 years now, at first i did question if i made the right choice, but today i am thankful i had the sense to leave and never ever look back, takes strength and knowing in your heart that your going to have a better life once u get rid of him, and divorce him, and than u can move on and never have to be hurt again. god bless u friend, and good luck.
2006-12-16 00:37:23 · answer #2 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Firstly - no offense to everyone on here - but you need to seek better advice than that of random people on the net. If I was in that situation I would think to myself that no matter how hard the initial struggle was on walking out of the relationship, you have a 3 yr old and another on the way - it will all be for the good of your two children in the end. If you cant do it for yourself - do it for them - you've already made the first big step in deciding you want to leave. The strength will come from the need to protect your children. There are places that you can go - I know its not ideal - but if your in an abusive situation - you dont really have much of a choice. Either stay there and live with it - or leave and build a new life for your kids. I sincerely wish you the best of luck in your choice. x
2016-05-22 23:08:52 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Domestic violence is a vicious cycle -- only you can break that cycle. You have to think of your kids. Do you want them to end up in the same types of relationship or become abusers? The most empowering thing you can do it know that you deserve better and have the will to change the situation. Your children will learn from the example you set by taking you and them out of an abusive household. There are resources out there -- and if your mom is willing to help you (which I'm sure she is) -- then that emotional support will help you make it through.
Don't lose courage -- lose the fear. Take your power back from him. Give your kids a chance to look forward to a future. I know it's scary, but isn't the life you're living already scary? Starting over isn't easy but peopledo it everyday. You can totally do this. Be strong and know my heart is with you.
Call the National Domestic Violence Hotline now if you can, the number is 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) -- site is http://www.ndvh.org. If you don't leave tonight, at least make sure you have that number in you cell phone. Also, have the number to your local police department in case he finds out you plan on leaving.
2006-12-16 00:23:27 · answer #4 · answered by jlgran 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're motivation is with you...your kids. If you even think about going back, just look at their faces and think about what you've already put them through and what they'll have to endure if you don't just walk away NOW!! How you made it 12 years is beyond me, but why wait any longer? If he hasn't changed in all this time, sweetie, he's not going 2. Did down deep and you'll find that you had more strength and courage than you ever realized.
2006-12-16 03:54:04 · answer #5 · answered by baybeegrl5 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Change is always scary, even when you know it is for the best. Think about your kids and how much better their lives will be when you are free from that abusive jerk. Think of how much better you will feel to wake up everyday, knowing you will have peace instead of stress and fear.
I finally left an alcoholic husband after 8 years and it was very hard and I was scared to death, but after a week of living alone, waking up to find my kids relaxed and happy, I felt like a new person. It was scary at first, but it changed my life and made me realize that I do not have to put up with anyone elses crap.
Another bit of advice: make sure you take time to rediscover who you are without the pressure of living with an abusive husband before you get into a new relationship. Focus on your new found freedom and pat yourself on the back for getting your kids away from this bad situation.
Good luck and congratulations on making this life-changing decision!
2006-12-16 00:14:42 · answer #6 · answered by schweetums 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
think ahead when the time comes and all the misery is behind you and you are free again with your kids. think of how they can grow up without the abusive behavior in the house and think of how happy you will be when you look back to this day of liberation.you will be strong and proud you had the courage to leave .
fear is not to be feared , it is a tool that let's you know to be careful and cautious in whatever... it is not to be feared , but respected.welcome your fears and never run away from them,use then to guide you.
it won't be forever anymore,you are taking the first step in a new life for you and your kids and a new world is open to you and them. start thinking ahead now and don't look back. god bless
2006-12-16 00:28:20 · answer #7 · answered by looken4answers 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Exactly!!!! Don't look back. If you went through 12 years of hell then get away.
People that treat people as objects is...well, flat wrong!
Get the kids, get what you can out of the household and get away! When you reach your mother's house, call the police and get a restraining order against him.
Take it one day at a time...you may think it is a long journey to happiness but it all starts with one step. You are taking that first step.
2006-12-16 00:22:14 · answer #8 · answered by Magicman 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Do it!!!! Go all the way and don't look back. He isn't worth the pain of trying to make it work and think of your children and that this is the best thing for them as well as you. I don't know how old you kids are but I'm 32 and my dad and mom would fight all the time when I was young and he even through a knife at her that landed in her foot and I was about 10 when that happened and I remember it like it was yesterday. I even remember most of the arguments word for word and the hole in the wall that his fist went through and a lot more things. Cops coming to the house etc. So please if there is one thing you could give your kids for Christmas that would be the piece of mind that they don't need to worry any more about mommy being hurt or hearing/seeing both of you fight. You can do it. It will be hard but just jump and don't look back. Protect your kids minds and there future please even years of therapy hasn't helped me don't let this happen to them. Best of luck and best wishes.
2006-12-16 00:17:41 · answer #9 · answered by Chynna 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Well, you have the right idea finally. Your husband's abuse will, with time, worsen. You and your children will be, as you have probably already been, in danger. You have most likely heard this before but it's sadly true. I am just concerned that your mother's house is not really going to do the trick, per se. You are going to have to be highly determined to get away from him- no waivering! He'll do everything in his power to undo this- this to him is going to be a nightmare! STICK TO YOUR GUNS!! It's no joke. There are alot of services/resources out there available to you. Do not listen to your heart, you're going to have to solely rely on your brain. I have been through this and I am with you all the way-my prayers are with you and your children.
2006-12-16 00:15:44 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Best Wishes and Best of Luck. Listen to your heart wich doesnt lie to you. You can either take another 12 years or more of an abusive life or you can change your destiny and your childrens to a better life. Just remember that no matter what God will be with you in your prayers.
2006-12-16 00:39:24 · answer #11 · answered by ♥*´`*•. mommy♥*´`*•. 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋