Hi im 18 and stuck!
I live on my own and have found out i am 7 weeks pregnant
I instantly told my mum and dad they OBVIOUSLEY want me 2 have a abortion as they feel i will ruin my life.
If i keep the baby they will have nothing 2 do with me or the baby.
And the babys father has run away.
Is it cruel for me to keep the baby i want 2 and i know it must ONLY BE MY DECISION but on th other hand are all these teen mums selfish living off benfit not being able to give the child the best start in life ? Struggling 2 get off the poverty line.
I am alredy a nursery nurse so more than most know its common sense i should understand the needs children have and want and it is a bit more than just love !!!!
i will be gratefull for any help so plzzzz let me know what you think !!!!!!!!!!!
2006-12-15 21:15:41 · 28 answers · asked by sianneedshelp 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Go with your heart. If you truely want to keep the baby, you will cope - millions of other single parents do!
As for your parents, probably just a knee jerk reaction. I'm guessing they'll warm to the idea of being grandparents if you give them time.
As for work etc, I think you've got it made really. You can take the baby with you (my friend does that) and your employer will probably give you a reduced rate for nursery care.
2006-12-15 21:26:32 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I feel for you I really do and you face a very tough decision! I had my first baby at 22 and it was hard work..but so is having a baby at 30! Do your parents really mean what they say? or do you think they will come round after baby is born? If you feel you are not ready to be a mum how about adoption? Its probably the most unselfish thing to do..and would make a couple that cannot have children extremely happy, even though giving it up at the end must be heart breaking..! I really wish you the best of luck..:))) the decision is your to be made not your parents or anyone else..take care
2006-12-15 21:26:00 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is entirely up to you but I know it is a confusing and emotional time especially in the circumstances you describe. All I can say is the decision you make now is yours for life, if you keep your baby I am sure your parents will come round and you won't be alone. If you decide not to you need to feel okay witht that and know that in future there will be a better time and place. Really only you know what is in your heart and I'm sure that whatever decision you make you will be fine, your question reveals how clearly you are thinking things through - Good luck, I wish you well.
2006-12-15 21:27:02 · answer #3 · answered by Flossie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i really do feel for you.. i had my first child when i was 18 and its not easy to be in your shoes i know .. i kept my baby and she is now 8 yrs old and i wouldn't be without her. But i have thought how different live would be if i hadn't of had her. it would be easier to find another partner, (her father and i are no longer together), i could have a good job and money to spare, but then i wouldn't have the complete feeling i get when i kiss her good night or the total pride i feel when i see her on stage at her school christmas show. It wasn't an easy choice to make but i wouldn't have things any other way. It is possible to work while the children are young and you do it all yourself!! there is never any better feeling than to see your child blooming into a wonderful person and you did it all yourself!
As for your parents not talking to you again!!. they only want you to have an abortion because they want you to be married and have a home and to have lived alittle first your there child! they will want to be a part of your life and your child if you continue with the pregnancy!
I have had an abortion. and its not as nice situation to have with you for the rest of your life so please think hard on this.
All the love and good luck
2006-12-16 20:04:23 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
it's a very difficult decision, and yes you are the only one who can make it.Being a single mother can be a great experience and love is a very important factor. since you are already on your own,if you are in a sound financially spot and you have your own place, you could give it a try. Again, you are the only one that can make this decision,.. I just saw a question posted by healthykidnow about wanting to adopt a child, not that I am telling you that that's what you should be thinking about ,but it is an option to consider, sometimes adoption is easier to deal with than an abortion....Hope you make your decision the right one for you and your baby...God Bless you....
2006-12-15 21:37:40 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your first question should be twofold: "What's the best choice for me, and what's the best choice for my baby?"
If you do not want to abort, then don't. However, you need to take a look at the kind of life you can provide for your child and ask yourself if you can be satisfied with that. Are you willing to make the sacrifices necessary at this point in time to raise this baby for the next 18+ years?
It may be your best option is adoption. These days, open adoptions are becoming very common, so you can still have a place in your child's life if you want. Good luck with your decision.
2006-12-15 21:45:11 · answer #6 · answered by shoujomaniac101 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Ask this question, are you able to cope with your life right now? 'Cos having a baby will take up a lot of your time, money and social life(zero)... I know 'cos I am a mother of 2 young children and I have to put a lot of stops to my career, my hobbies and interests. I am not asking you to abort the baby but if there are other alternatives like giving it up for adoption.... Knowing the background of the people whom you are giving up your baby... It'll help..... You are so young.... But then again if you love the baby, you can try getting help from organizations that help single unwed mothers to cope with their life.... I think you should find out more about this organizations and attend their talks and seminars to better prepare your situation.... All the best... Think what is right for both yourself and the baby...
2006-12-15 21:28:32 · answer #7 · answered by syain 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it's what you want then do it. A lot of women find it hard to live with themselves after abortion. A friend of mine with an extremely almost identical story had an abortion. I see the regret in her eyes every time she looks at my son. I'm 23 and I have a 2 year old and although it has been really hard an quite lonely i don't regret my decision. All your child needs is food in his/her tummy clothes on his/her back and your love. Which undoubtedly will be unconditional.
2006-12-15 23:59:38 · answer #8 · answered by itgirl23 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
keep the baby you sound very sensible and as you say you have a job that you could maybe take a break from and then return at a later date you can also support yourself you have proved this already by living on your own.As for your parents chances are they will come round when the little one arrives nothing like a little baby to melt the hardest hearts and just because you have a baby does not mean you will live off the state and you work with kids so you must like them i think you will make a great mum but it,s down to you and only you so good luck and i wish you well
2006-12-15 21:35:31 · answer #9 · answered by oG33MANo 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I would be lying if I said you will find it easy, as a mother of two I still struggle now and I am 30. However you have childcare experience, a job and an obviously mature attitude to this. dont worry about your parents, they love you and will come around, they are just concerned. the main thing is you need to be happy about your decision and provide love for the child, if you follow your own instincts you will make the right decision. good luck to you either way.
2006-12-15 21:32:26 · answer #10 · answered by bumkin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋