My husband and I love each other so much but since we got married in Sept., he's been different. He gets angry so much easier and sometimes can be voilent without meaning to be. When I try to confront him or talk to him about it he either gets angrier or he withdraws from me. How can I get him to talk about what's bothering him without him doing either of those things and more importantly how can I get him help without seeming like I think he's psycotic?
2006-12-15 20:57:17 · 11 answers · asked by Amber And Josh W 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
someone mentioned possible alcohol or drug use and i know for a fact that he doesn't do that. He is a VERY devout Christian and has very vocally expressed his disapproval in such things. And to clarify what i meant by violent without meaning to be, he can get angry andgrab my wrist not to hurt me but just grags it a bit too hard. Things like that. He's never seriously hurt me or slapped or punched me. I just want advice on how to get a handle on it before it gets worse. I don't want to leave him because it's against my religion to be divorced and more importantly becaue i love him so so much. thats why i married him in the first place.
2006-12-15 23:08:13 · update #1
Do you get defensive when he wants to talk to you about your issues? It is a normal response. See if he might be interested in going to marriage counseling, they can provide you both with tools of communication.
2006-12-15 21:04:39 · answer #1 · answered by ckgene 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You've been married for about three months.
Your husband gets angry easily and is even violent.
Your husband is not communicative.
These are not good signs. I think the real question is how you are going
to handle this. Your husband has a problem. You can't solve his problem. He doesn't want to talk about it and you can't make him.
Something else is going on here that you haven't told us about. I suspect drugs or alcohol are involved. What you describe is not normal behavior. You're in your honeymoon period.
I think you should go see a counselor. If he won't go with you, fine, go by yourself. But go and talk about this and figure out what you're willing to put up with. Figure out what you're gonna do about all this.
I imagine you must be deeply concerned about all of this. You mentioned that he can be violent. That sounds potentially unsafe. I think you need to learn to set some boundaries. You have a say in what you're willing to tolerate. If you don't get that established, then you're part of the problem and things will only get worse.
That's all I can think of without more information from you. Something else is going on that you haven't yet mentioned. If you feel comfortable sharing more information, please do so.
Good luck.
2006-12-16 05:10:33 · answer #2 · answered by DearAbby 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The behavior of your husband with you is rather very objectionable. He must have some mental trouble as if he accepts you his wife then there is no such alarm of being so quarrelsome as you have just narrated. He is either not in love with you or he wants to get him rid of from you. I advise you that you please don't argue with him. At some time when he is in receptive mood, ask him the reason for his such objectionable attitude towards you. You just ask his father or mother to intervene and ask them to bring him to the right track other wise it will be very difficult to go along with him. Indeed it appears that he might be suffering from some psychic disease, such as schizophrenia or narcissism. Falling teeth indicates end of something. You should be careful in you life. Please do not go out and try to stay hom. You should give alms to poor and kindly give Sadqa of your life. (Sadaqa is a urdu word which means donation for you life safety). Good Luck.
mushtaq_ahmad43@yahoo.com
2006-12-16 05:31:08 · answer #3 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"violent without meaning to be"? Honey, he knows exactly what he's doing. If he strikes you then file charges and lock his little butt up. Men who are violent with their families need a reality check, they are not 12 any more. Tell him to shape up and talk with you like an adult or move out. I'm serious, you deserve better than this treatment. He is manipulating you, do not play along with this childish behaviour. My dad beat my Mom and I have seen it in other relationships as well. There is NO excuse for a man to get violent with a woman.
2006-12-16 05:04:53 · answer #4 · answered by AK 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
#1. Violence against your spouse (or anyone) is NEVER okay. (except in rare cases of self-defense.) Please, please don't let this get out of hand. Seek some support. Talk to someone objective you trust, like a doctor or therapist. Get support and help. DON'T ever let anyone hurt you. There is no reason, excuse or justification for frightening or scaring someone you love. He may not be hurting you, but it sounds like things aren't as healthy as they ought to be.
#2. Marriage can and does change people, but there's a lot of help out there to make a go of it.
If I were you, I would get of the net, and go to a trusted doctor, friend, therapist, priest or someone who can get into the situation objectively before it gets worse.
Good luck.
2006-12-16 05:06:03 · answer #5 · answered by moondreameast 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You make him understand by walking out the door! He doesn't get violent without meaning to. He does because he wants to he needs some help. good luck
2006-12-16 05:59:28 · answer #6 · answered by kelsey 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like to me that you need to run when you can, you are seeing his true colors. If you are not even married yet wait till you are all his in marrige.
2006-12-16 05:01:02 · answer #7 · answered by cuddydman 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes u gotta get through a guys head with sex n through his heart with food
2006-12-16 04:59:20 · answer #8 · answered by Young boi 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
convince him to meet a counceller or to a pchycologist( they would give some anti depresents),
i think that would be the best way.
keep loving him .& be always patient.
2006-12-16 05:37:36 · answer #9 · answered by shwetha sharma 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give him lots of sex
2006-12-16 05:00:43 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋