she's been with her husband for bout 6yrs...bout year ago they got seperated for bout a month...she slept with her ex-boyfriend. and couple of weeks after her and her husband decided to try things out again...she never told him bout her sleepin with her ex. so she ended up gettin pregnant. now she doesnt know whos it is...her ex is my brother-in-law so her kid looks a lot like my son from his side of the family...thats where her husband question her bout the baby...she wants to tell him...but she doesnt know how to tell him...she really doesnt know what to do...
2006-12-15 18:51:51 · 16 answers · asked by It's Me 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
the only thing she can do is fess up.this is bad i do agree but the most important thing is to consider the child.the baby is Innocent even if born in sin.i wish there was a better answer.we all make mistakes we have to live with.i just do`nt want to see the child suffer .
2006-12-15 19:04:02 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Oh dear,
What a tricky situation. I guess my first reaction was that she should have been honest in the first place before reuniting with her husband. It should have been a clean slate for both of them.
But she didn't and now this situation is here and its a very tricky one. On one hand she should tell her husband the truth and let the peices fall where they may BUT on the other hand if they are happy why cause a problem.
My aunty went through a similar situation herself. She chose not to tell her husband and when her son turned 18 she took him on a holiday and told him the truth. She said she was very sorry and that she thought that by not telling her husband she was protecting the rest of the family. Her son was angry at first but then came around. He too now carries her secret and he has also managed to meet his real father and also has a relationsship with him.
It has not been an easy path but it did work out in the end. All this was affected by her relationship with her son, which has always been very strong.
Your sister's decision depends greatly on how happy and stable her marriage really is and also as to how she truly feels about the other man! My aunt had a one night stand, your sister reuntied with an ex which is very different.
My advice would be to tread very carefully and if your sister is in a great marriage to remain silent. BUT if the marriage isn't what it should be she should be honest and let the peices fall where they may. This will be hard and I don't envy your sister at all.
I know however that if it was me I would tell my husband as I would be unwilling to live a lie.
2006-12-15 19:08:57 · answer #2 · answered by kellz_car 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I think to be fair she does know what to do! She is just having a difficult time with the concept of doing it! I know it if was me, I would have a hard time too! It would have been easy to tell him at the beginning when she found out she was pregnant but maybe she should seek some advice from a counselor on how to tackle the issue!
The other thing I don't get is why he would be upset if they had been separated! They were not together at the time.......she does have some basis for a legitimate and honest answer.
Finally she could have a paternity test done and solve the problem for herself before jumping the gun but I think it may be more on the lines of feeling guilty about something for so long!
This a tricky one and she will need all the support she can get! The one thing she has to remember is that he is going to feel betrayed and she is going to have to be prepared to deal with that!
Best of luck to both of you! I just hope that he remembers the baby looks to him as a father regardless of biological status!!!!!
2006-12-15 19:01:29 · answer #3 · answered by honeyed_dimples 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I've seen this situation over and over again on the Maury Show or on Jerry Springer. However, I've always thought that it would be best to spare one's husband the public humiliation. She should set a time to talk to her husband about these things and face the music. Of course, tell her not to expect to be forgiven right away or at all. Just be close by when she does this so that she will have the support she needs whatever the reaction of her husband will be.
2006-12-15 18:54:27 · answer #4 · answered by Trillian 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
It takes less effort to just take a deep breath and test the baby than it does to stew about it. There's no sense worrying about it. If they were broken up, then she could sleep with whomever she liked, but now there is another life involved. Secrets are so destructive to relationships. She should have told him when they were deciding to get back together, but now time has passed and she feels frantic. The baby deserves to know who it's father is, right? Forget the others involved. If I were that baby, I'd want to know the truth. Hang in there. Give your sister a hug, tell her to take a deep breath, and then just tell him. They can sort the rest out later.
2006-12-15 18:58:30 · answer #5 · answered by Genius Squirrel 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
feels like she desires a truth examine. If she began getting sessions she should not be fairly annoyed like that. perchance she's having a demanding time in college or would not get alongside all precise with friends.
2016-10-18 08:56:38 · answer #6 · answered by ashworth 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She must have courage to tell her that while in separation she slept with her ex b/f who is your brother in law. It must make more clear as husband and wife they must be quite clear and should not have any doubt about the baby, as she is pregnant.
good luck.
2006-12-15 19:06:49 · answer #7 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I honestly would wait til I got some kind of blood test or something to be 100% sure whose child it is. She could be confessing to something that would have been better keeping silent about. If she doesn't say anything, that will bother her the rest of her life. You have to honest and up-front with one another.
2006-12-15 18:55:32 · answer #8 · answered by Nancy D 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
She shouldn't come clean until she gets a dna test. No sense in burdening her husband who did nothing wrong with the knowledge that his wife was unfaithful. If its not his kid, she should tell him. She made her bed, she's gotta lie in it.
2006-12-15 20:19:09 · answer #9 · answered by Smart_ca_latina 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Look my sister whoever u are i will try my best to solve this problem i think u r sis should tell him when he is in a romantic mood with u r sister i think it must work or when u r sister is having a SEX with her husband then she should tell him
2006-12-15 19:02:19 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋