Unfortunately, my husband was unable to accept the invitation owing to shiftwork commitments therefore our friends cancelled the invitation, thus leaving me "high and dry" on my birthday.
The friends are well aware of my husband being a shiftworker.
I was hurt by their actions and have tried to explain how those actions made me feel, however to no avail. Have I over-reacted?
2006-12-15 17:46:50 · 22 answers · asked by Jgirl 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Of course not! It was YOUR birthday, not your husband's.
2006-12-15 17:49:36 · answer #1 · answered by largerladybug 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
They have done this with the best of intentions--not meaning to hurt anyone---be graceful and try to find a time that will work---Certainly an hour or two is available at some time for a breakfast, lunch or dinner. Just gracefully apologize for the delay and find a better time. You have to learn social graces when dealing with these types of issues. It isn't the end of the world. I doubt that they will be mad or not be understanding about the problem at hand. How about saying Come on over for cake and coffee....a little visit would be just as nice--at least your husband has a job and isn't ignoring your special day.If they are mad---you don't need them. Happy Birthday
2006-12-15 18:01:28 · answer #2 · answered by fire_inur_eyes 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It wasnt proper for your friends, who know your husband's work schedule, to invite you both for breakfast on a day he had a scheduling problem. Maybe they couldnt find it convenient to have a dinner invitation instead due to their own problems. Do you know if this was the case? If it werent, then one can understand your reactions to the cancellation of the breakfast. That wasnt a good gesture on their part.
If these friends are otherwise OK and you have reasons to believe that they didnt, purposely, invite you both for breakfast that day just to show that they 'cared', then they could be given the benefit of doubt. If not, then there could be a case for rethinking on how much your friendship is worth. I dont for a minute suggest that you break off with them - try to see the intention behind the invitation.
I hope at least your husband compensated for this unfortunate experience by extending a special treatment to you on your birthday!
2006-12-15 17:56:36 · answer #3 · answered by greenhorn 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you have over reacted. Every decision taken should be practical. So your husband being a shift worker, he couldn't accept the invitation for practical reasons. The friends invited you both in good intention. You could have arranged for attending the breakfast on your own, considering your husband's problem. More so, as it happened to be your birthday and not your wedding anniversary.
2006-12-15 17:53:53 · answer #4 · answered by Modest 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sadly it is unfortunate that your husband was working and I guess your friends thought it best not to have the breakfast without your husband there . I think they are good friends and you are just emotionally upset .Get over it you have many more birthdays to come I am sure of that .Have a nice day.
2006-12-15 17:54:34 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is this anything to worry about at all? Some friends they are, if they are not sympathetic to your husband's work. Everyone has to work and last I looked no companies in the world give you a day off for your spouse's birthday. Get new friends.
2006-12-15 17:51:00 · answer #6 · answered by fugutastic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't understand why you couldn't have gone by yourself with them. Am I missing something? Maybe they couldn't afford it right then, but didn't want to look cheap? I can see why you were hurt though, and they should too. It's like getting an empty present box with beautiful wrapping, right? But, you should probably let it go for now. It won't do any good to speak about something they don't care about. That's just banging your head against the wall. Just wait and see if the same sort of situation comes up later, and then you can better voice your opinion then. Good luck and Happy Birthday, by the way!
2006-12-15 17:52:12 · answer #7 · answered by Genius Squirrel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. You haven't over-reacted, you did the right thing by explaining the actions of your Friends...or so called Friends. See....., true Friends would be there if situations like that would occur. And them knowing your husband is a Shift worker, your Birthday of ALL days, would've been there for you.
2006-12-15 18:13:02 · answer #8 · answered by Bygtree 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why didn't you go without your husband? It was your birthday so your husband should have explained that he could not go but there was no reason why you could not have gone. Or did your friends simply cncel the invitation because only you could go? If it was the latter then they are very thoughtless and I would not bother to try and explain any more to them. If it was the former then you have overreacted - unless you and your husband are completely co-dependent.
2006-12-17 03:52:18 · answer #9 · answered by D B 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say they probably aren't very good friends after all. If their intent was to celebrate your birthday they would have kept the "date". Since they cancelled, my guess is that they weren't sincere in their invitation. Are they friends of yours though your husband? You haven't over-reacted, but if you've indicated to them that your feelings were hurt and they haven't plainly said they were sorry and they'll make it up to you... you deserve MUCH better friends.
2006-12-15 17:51:04 · answer #10 · answered by marathonlife 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋