This week I found out a coworker had a holiday party and I was not invited. At one point this cowworker and I were close we worked together on a daily basis. I thought we were friends. Shoud I be upset and let the coworker know or should I pretend nothing has happened?
I also happened to be out with a group of coworkers and heard from another indvidual abut the event should I be concerencd that I was ridiculed and spoken about behind my back?
2006-12-15 17:17:39 · 7 answers · asked by David O 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Well, my advice to you would to be upfront to your coworker. If it were me, I would simply find a time when you guys have a few minutes to talk ( that way, she/he can't bail ) and simply and non defensively ask her why you were not included in the Holiday get together. It is not that she was expected to invite you, but let her know it hurt your feelings and that you thought the two of you were friends. If this person is an adult, they should at least give you the respect to honestly answer your question. Holding something like this inside of you can lead to other issues. It can create a hostile work environment and little things such as these can blow up. It is really best just to sit down and discuss it....she may have a simple explanation as to why she didn't invite you and it may be nothing personal. I was once left out of a party due to the fact the person thought I may have been offended by some of the activities going on there. I respected that answer by them.
Also, as to the 3rd person saying there was gossip about you there...again you need to clear that up with the coworker who hosted the party. This 3rd person may be trying to cause more trouble.
Again, my suggestion would be to talk to the person, don't get angry or approach them in a combatitive manner and just get everything out on the table. The two of you ( or at least you ) should feel better afterward even if you are told something you don't like. There is nothing worse than letting feelings staying bottled up inside and causing bigger problems in the future.
good luck!!
2006-12-15 17:27:58 · answer #1 · answered by P H 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
First off we as human being tend to take a situation and warp it into something that's way bigger then it really is.
I seriously doubt that you were ridiculed and spoken about at this party. You said the event was about the holidays so whether you came up at all is more likely the issue.
If you feel you would like to address this with your co worker I think you should. I wouldnt go up to that person bitter about it and accuse them of purposely leaving you out. You arent going to get a positive reaction from that.
I would go up to the them and say "I heard you had quite the holiday event last week. Im really sorry I didnt get an invitation to it, I would have loved to be there. I know you cant invite everyone, but next time you have an event count me in! It would be great to hang out with everyone outside the office, I have missed hanging out with you now that we dont work together on a daily basis anymore." After you say this watch pay attention to what they say.
It might be that if you two are not closely working with each other that they simply over looked inviting you. It may be that they just didnt have enough room to invite you or like you think it could be that they for some unknown reason didnt want you there.
Either way by saying what I mentioned earlier you have made it known that you found out, would have liked to have been there and would except an invite if you got it in the future. You can also ad something like "I hope I didnt miss your invite, I wouldnt have wanted to stand you up" if you want to be more forcful with the idea that you werent invited, but it might backfire on you.
All in all you have to remember that the holidays are crazy and busy times for all of us and things do and will get overlooked. Give people the benefit of the doubt first. You'll be happier thinking positively and you just might find out better news then you expected. :)
2006-12-16 01:30:51 · answer #2 · answered by Frenchie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should learn that in the grand scheme of things in this life---it just doesn't matter. Adopt that saying and you will be stressfree in no time. No matter what comes along, if it doesn't work out--it just doesn't matter---say it--it just doesn't matter. I used to be slighted over the same kind of things---but I found out that if I never expect anything---I'll never be disappointed. I am happy as a clam now.
We are all going to end up in a hole in the ground someday----just live life as it comes--don't worry so much---be cool and BE NICE Happy holiday
2006-12-16 01:28:57 · answer #3 · answered by fire_inur_eyes 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all your co worker is under NO obligation to invite you to any party he/she has whether you worked closely and were/are friends or not. So you really have no right feeling "slighted". Probably the reason you were ridiculed was because of the fact that you would feel sligthed at not being invited. You need to learn that sometimes the world doesn't revolve around you and that you're not going to be invited to all the parties people you know have.
2006-12-16 01:23:43 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
You should just let it be. Your co-work will only know that you were bothered if you ask him/her about it. Just shrug it off and move on.
2006-12-16 01:23:23 · answer #5 · answered by biochick11220 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
nut kick, tit slap depends on the gender.
2006-12-16 01:28:28 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
i wouldn't let it bother me, if they have to be sneaky and conniving i wouldn't want anything more to do with them.
2006-12-16 01:28:22 · answer #7 · answered by Kathy 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋