Some of you liked and some disliked the last poem I posted. What do you think of this one?

Question

THE ENEMY
BY
ed-mike mertell

I read about them in the newspapers. I saw and heard about them on the radio and T.V.. The Russians; how they wanted to take over the world, how they wanted to destroy my country with nuclear bombs, how they were against freedom, God, and democracy. So, I feared them, and soon I hated them. I knew in my heart it was either them or me. I joined the army, so that one day I might be able to conquer, and or kill the enemy.
Then the wall in Berlin fell, and the Soviet Union disintegrated. I met a Russian in school and I talked to him and him to me. He told me of his life in his distant land. I came to understand that he was just a man. Not all good, but not all bad, he was just a man like me. He loved his God and his family. I realized that this man although from a very different country than me, this Russian was still my brother, not my enemy.
I read about them in the newspapers. I saw and heard about them on the radio and the T.V.. The poor; they were rioting in Las Angeles. They smoked crack and were shiftless and lazy. They robbed good hard working people, and lived off the government for free. So, I feared them, and soon I hated them. I knew in my heart it was either them or me. I bought a gun, so if confronted I could conquer, and or kill the enemy.
Then one day I lost my job, and soon after I lost my car. Waiting for a bus one morning I met a poor man, and I talk to him and him to me. He told me of his life which was filled with mishaps and tragedy. I came to understand that he was just a man. Not all good, but not all bad, he was just a man like me. He loved his God and his family. I realized that this man although far less fortunate than even me, this poor man was still my brother, not my enemy.
I heard a man speak from a soap box in the park. He said, “Don’t believe what you read in the newspapers, or what you see and hear on the radio or T.V.. These things are owned by the rich, and they use them to fool us with lies. They oppress the masses. They live off the sweat of good hard working people, leaving them to live in poverty. They ruin the world with their selfishness and greed. So, I feared them, and soon I hated them. I knew in my heart it was either them or me. I joined a revolutionary movement, so that one day I might conquer and or kill the enemy.
As in every revolutionary movement, we needed a political basis, and a financial on as well. At a fund raiser I met a rich man, and I talked to him and him to me. He told me of his life; of his upward climb, of his hopes and fears, of his pride, and inadequacies. I came to understand that he was just a man. Not all good, but not all bad, he was just a man like me. He loved his God and his family. I realized that this man although far more fortunate than me, this rich man was still my brother, not my enemy.
Now, I no longer believe everything I read in the newspapers, or everything I see and hear on the radio or T.V.. I’m not in the army. I don’t carry a gun. I don’t belong to any revolutionary movements, but I now know the enemy. It’s not the Russians, the poor, or even the rich. It’s inside of you and me. Only understanding and love will ever conquer the fear, and the hate, and finally kill the enemy!

Answer 1

I am no critic when it comes to poetry... or writing. At first I thought it rather long, but then reading it again, I rather liked it.

To me its like a "journey" I'm going through in understanding what's going on in the world... and starting to realize that I'm part of the equation, too.

Reminds me of another poem Iike, The Desiderata.

Very nice!

Answer 2

This isn't a poem, however a observation. A poem has verses, rhyme, a factor, meter or which means. This is a tale, a reminiscence or inspiration, a passage or magazine access. You maybe greater desirable to jot down a brief tale approximately this. If you desire it to be a "poem" then you definitely must paraphrase the ideas, shorten the sentences, establish a go with the flow or rhythm to it is content material. Contain your self to a degree. Excellent content material and inspiration, however now not on a poetic degree.

Answer 3

Hi, I would NOT call that a poem. It is prose, and, with respect, it reads like a shopping list.

So, what is poetry? Well, poetry often uses particular forms and conventions to expand the literal meaning of the words, or to invoke emotional or sensual responses. Devices such as assonance, alliteration and rhythm are sometimes used to achieve musical or incantatory effects. Poetry's use of ambiguity, symbolism, irony and other stylistic elements of poetic diction often leaves a poem open to multiple interpretations. Similarly, metaphor and simile create a resonance between otherwise disparate images—a layering of meanings, forming connections previously not perceived. Kindred forms of resonance may exist, between individual verses, in their patterns of rhyme or rhythm. If you read your text again, you will see that it does none of these things.

Try this as an example of what you should be doing:

The Lake Isle of Innisfree, by W.B Yeats.

I will arise and go now, and go to Innisfree,
And a small cabin build there, of clay and wattles made;
Nine bean rows will I have there, a hive for the honey bee,
And live alone in the bee-loud glade.

And I shall have some peace there, for peace comes dropping slow,
Dropping from the veils of the morning to where the cricket sings;
There midnight's all a glimmer, and noon a purple glow,
And evening full of the linnet's wings.

I will arise and go now, for always night and day I hear lake water lapping with low sounds by the shore;
While I stand on the roadway, or on the pavements grey,
I hear it in the deep heart's core.