so my problem is this guy and i got really close.. we havent met in person yet, but we were supposed to.. he doesnt open up very well to people, and when he gets too close he pushes them away because he gets scared.. everything was great at first then over night he changed.. he started snapping at me, we'd have pointless fights about the same things over and over again.. its been going on for about a week now.. well tonight we got into a really big fight and i snapped at him.. i was the asshole for once and i think i've completely pushed him away.. i know he cares about me, he's told me so.. but lately after all these fights i've been having doubts.. i still want to see him, i care about him a lot as stupid as that may sound.. but i dont know how to fix what i've done :( help please
2006-12-15 14:42:08 · 19 answers · asked by something 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Your guy sounds married...
2006-12-15 14:44:56 · answer #1 · answered by Autumns Destany 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He has personal issues to start with. It is uncommon for guys to be very secretive or avoiding getting close to anyone. It is out of character. It seems that he may have sexuality crisis at the moment (what else could it be?).
Your fighting with him is just a symptom.
It's very strange that you got so affected when you haven't even met him. But anyway, anything is possible these days.
You may keep showing him that you care but you got to address the real problem by gaining his trust first so he would open up to you. And set a date when you two can meet.
Nevertheless, I still don't see any logic that you feel this way towards him given the situation.
2006-12-15 22:52:42 · answer #2 · answered by nomamalin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You two both have to take It easy. There Is no way on earth that you are going to jump Into a relationship and not disagree about something. Seems like some kind of security problem, a little from you and a lot from your friend. You two need someone to reassure you that your going to be there, that you care and that everything Is going to be alright. If you argue you'll get over It. Maybe your friend was In a past relationship that he gave all he had and someone crushed him badly. If this Is so It's going to take a lot of time for him to get back to himself. He first needs to start within himself. He might be blaming this all on himself and won't open because he thinks he's going to mess up again....good luck guys!!!
2006-12-15 22:56:47 · answer #3 · answered by passion 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If this is an email relationship, you can email him and apologize, but I think you need to be straight with him about how you feel about these pointless fights. You need to be clear about where you think the relationship could go, and that you need someone who can be open and honest with you about his feelings. Not everyone can be the good guy all the time, and not everyone should be. Relationships are give and take, not about closing yourself off emotionally to someone. Be honest, but you should also expect an apology from him for behaving the way he has. Also, be careful when you do meet him. Don't go to meet him alone, and make sure you stay in a public place.
2006-12-15 22:48:09 · answer #4 · answered by Jenny 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all how long have yall been together? If it's not long enough to worry about then I would say you shouldn't try to fix it really. I have been in this sort of thing before. However, if you really do think this could be something really serious--just tell him you are really sorry about whatever it was. Of course it also depends on what you said. But I am sure if yall care about each other---- "love will find a way" GOOD LUCK!
2006-12-15 22:46:31 · answer #5 · answered by Raven 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you two are having fights without knowing each other well enough yet....just wait...things could get worst!!. There was a case on Baltimore, MD, where this guy met this young single woman on MYSPACE, until they decided to meet, seems like she had second thoughts and ask him to take her back home, he got really mad, long story short, he killed her and dropped her off on Interstate 95. Please, be careful!! look for signs of violence, there is no way you can predict and know a person without having a conversation eye to eye.
2006-12-15 22:49:26 · answer #6 · answered by fun 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK... You are getting in huge fights with this guy and you haven't even met? Sounds like a few red flags are going up already. If you just talk on the phone, or however, and are getting in fights imagine what it will be like when you are together. Will little things that you do annoy him? Will things that he does annoy you? And not to mention if he begins to push you away... Sounds like trouble waiting to happen... In person.
I do like MH's solution tooo... Hmmmm!!
2006-12-15 22:46:23 · answer #7 · answered by CJ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How can you know how you feel about someone if you haven't met yet? Get it over with - quit playing games and meet. Your fights appear to be your entertainment. It doesn't sound like a very mature relationship, does it?
2006-12-15 22:46:47 · answer #8 · answered by Jane BK 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If this is just an online relationship so far---yes, you're guy has something to hide. Whether it be a wife, girlfriend, something. It also may be something as simple as he is scared of your reaction to him, maybe he doesn't look like the picture he may have sent you, or like he has told you. Be very leery---people can be anyone they want to be on the internet. I learned from experience, sadly.
2006-12-15 22:47:04 · answer #9 · answered by donnabellekc 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was with someone like this once - he was manipulative and selfish. He fought with me to push me away and when I fought back, he used it as a grounds for a break up. Believe me, you do not need this heartache, especially not for a guy you haven't yet met.
2006-12-15 22:48:52 · answer #10 · answered by Galoshes 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
how can you guys have a big fight and you haven't even met in person? what does that mean? you guys met in the chartroom? get off the computer. dump this guy or whatever ppl do who haven't met yet. then find a real human being who you can trust.
2006-12-15 22:46:37 · answer #11 · answered by Chris E 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋