what do you think of?

Question

a man who has been married for 2 yrs, not a child 32 yrs old, but still goes out with his single friends every weekend( i suppose) b/c he never feel the need to run his plans by me he just makes them and sometimes if i'm going thru his email i will see where he's made plans with his brother or friends that he has but he never tells me himself he just goes and does whatever he wants he doesn't ever come home between work and going out and we have a son who is almost 3. so my three year old can actually go a whole day without seeing his father. Its frustrating b/c it makes me feel disrespected and like he just don't care about me at all...a couple weeks ago I told him I was going to ask my sister to keep my son over night so that we could have an evening alone b/c its rare that we spend any time together just the two of us and he still chose to hang out with his friends instead. I don't want to divorce him I'd rather he leave me and ideas to make this happen, adultery not an option.

Answer 1

Well, I don't think a married man should shrug his responsibilities of husband or father. If you have already told him this troubles you, and he is still neglecting his obligations, then he obviously isn't too concerned or the status of marriage and family. He sounds very immature and at 32 he is more than likely set in his ways. Give him an ultimatum and if he still chooses everyone else over family, then it is time to get to higher grounds. Forget about him leaving, why are you letting him make the final decision? Good Luck!

Answer 2

Sounds like he is way too comfortable that you are taking care of everything at home for him so he feels he can still do whatever he wants. Age doesn't mean you are grown up, it takes having a child to make you a grown up and it sounds like it worked for you but not him. I am not suggesting divorce, but counselling, maybe a short separation period may help. But in the end you are the one who has to draw the line of how much you will put up with and when it will have to stop. Communication is HUGE, if he doesnt communicate, this can be a big problem for you. Try everything you can so you know that you did try and then cut your losses if it doesn't work. Good luck darling

Answer 3

I'm not trying to come at you hard, but I'm going to lay it straight. Your husband is what I call a "married bachelor". He acts this way because he is being selfish and immature. However, as his wife, you must put the reality into his face. You can NOT tolerate this behavior anymore. Not only are you not happy, but your child is missing out on a very important relationship. If your son grows up around this neglect and behavior, he will also emulate it later on in life as an adult. I am raising a son also, so I can personally relate to your frustrations and experience. When my husband is messing up, I let him know in short order. It's my job. He's ok with that because that's my personality and he appreciates my candor. We both know we are raising a man and he will take many cues from my husband. My husband grew up with a dad similar to your husband and it affected him greatly. My husband grew up in a neglectful, unsupportive family situation, so he had no idea what a normal family is supposed to be like. It's been a major uphill battle for me, but it's been worth it. My husband is a better man for it and my son has a relationship with his dad. I guess what I'm trying to say is that you have to take action as soon as possible. It's your responsibility to your child and yourself. I know it sucks because he's a big boy and you shouldn't have to say these things, but you have to put your foot down. If he is unwilling to change his ways, then you know he's not a good role model for your child and you can move on.

Answer 4

Why would he leave you, he has the luxury of coming and going as a single man, however with the benefits of a wife who is good mom and cares for his children, cooks his meals and takes care of his home, and I would assume takes care of him sexually. You need to do what is best for you. This is really a horrible situation to be in. And no one deserves to be treated this way. I would try and have a very serious talk with him and explain you are done with him acting as a spoiled child and your feelings are very hurt. Perhaps he will entertain the idea of some counseling. If not then you are going to have to make moves to make a better life for yourself and your child. You deserve to be happy, with or without him. Good luck and God bless****

Answer 5

Well, sometimes at this age men are still immature. What I would suggest is giving him treatment of his own medicine. He seems as though he has left the responsibility on you as far as your son is concerned. I would really talk to him first and then try to give him a bit of his own medicine. When he is home with your son tell him that you've made plans to go over to a girlfriend's house. If this doesn't work, then attempt to go with him.

Answer 6

Why would he leave? He has the benefit of conducting his life like a single guy without having to include his wife and son in his plans or decisions.

You better lay the smackdown on him and start busting his chops everytime he does it. Cause him some grief and he'll do it less or he will want to leave.

Answer 7

He'd come home and find himself locked out of that house. I'd tell him I'm raising one child not 2 and either he grows up and acts like a man and be responsible or don't bother coming home at all.

Answer 8

I beg to differ....your husband may be 32 but he is a child. He's acting like a little boy that won't respect his mother. Is that the kind of relationship you have with him? Do you mother him? If you do, that could be why he stays married but wants to avoid you.

I sure hope you can work this out, but it doesn't sound like there is much hope.

Answer 9

why dot u make ur own friends and do the things that makes u happy.u have agreat kid u can enjoy with him alot parks places some shows shopping give him all love and affection u could and SHOW that u r neglecting your husband \
it takes for while a forhim to understand the situation but dot lose ur heart.KEEP UR COOL, NEVER ARGUE.NEVER EXPRESS THAT U CANNOT SURVIVE WITH OUT HIM
Good luck

Answer 10

looks like he needed a house keeper. dont think he was ready for marriage. i think he hopes you will dump him so in front of his friends,you are the bad guy. become a sloppy ,lazy house keeper. no supper ready, no clean clothes. no sex slowly piss him off.