ive been married for 5 months now. but i still keep arguing about the dumbest things, how can i fix this?

Question

i argue about her not calling me when she not doing nothing, i argue about her going out and having fun when im here doing nothing, the biggest one is that when she gets irratated she kinda takes it out on me and that really pisses me off. sorry makes me really mad please i need help badly. i really love her but its hard for me to overlook these things.

Answer 1

marriage is about compromise, trying to find a middle ground. You both have to have patience for each other and try to talk things through. Communication is the key. The first year is probably the hardest, but just try to tough it out and remember why you married her.

Answer 2

Getting married is not a solution for a troubled relationship! In fact, it's the exact opposite. Not only is your relationship still troubled, but now you both feel trapped in it together because of the vows you made. There's no such thing as "if we do this, our relationship will be the way it should be". You need to realize the problems you had before and actually solve them, rather than trying to find the easy way around them. Abuse should not be tolerated in ANY way, no matter how "little" it might be. It wont go away, it will get worse. I think a marriage councilor would be a good idea.

Answer 3

Hi javierbur!!!

I don't think that you are ready for this , but I'll be honest with you. I want to answer this question because, that happened to me too!!!

After a long thought of about7 years, I finally realized that I was to blame!!!
I'm not saying that is your fault, obviously I don't know what is going on in this situation.
What I'm trying to tell you is that when YOU are arguing about the same thing all the time, and YOU don't seem to control it; then is on YOU !!!

The other person will never understand, what YOU are going through because of that person; and will never accept that was wrong!!! Don't see it that way!!! You see??? The damage is already done!!!! But TO YOU !!!

Best advice, counseling or a Pastor or Priest.
If this doesn't help the situation, please get out of it, because is not going to be a healthy one!!! LOVE doesn't always conquers all!!! GOOD LUCK !!!
GOD BLESS YOU Merry Christmas & Happy New Year
ALLIV Z

Answer 4

Hello, I'm not expert in marraiges, but I'm pretty good at fixing arguements. ok, what you need to do is talk to her more, be open about how you feel. it might sound cheap and stupid, but it works. Listen to what she says and have her listen to you. If you start feeling angry, stop, breathe, and imagine a favorite song, place or something. keep calm at all means, and don't try to irritate her. i know you might not mean to upset her, but it will eventually happen. if a small arguement breaks out, stop. think about whats going on. appologies even if its not your fault. tell her you love her more often, and remember to respect her. help her out, and on nights when she is having fun, go have fun yourself, or do something around the house to make her happy when she comes home. Remember its the little things in life that she will apreseate. Just keep cool, and relaxed. And about the calling thing, let her have some space too. if you argue about that, then it seems you're clingy, and that could end a relationship. or she might think she's in a male dominated relationship, remember a marriage is an EQUAL thing. hope my info helps, good luck, and sorry if I offended you in anyway.

Answer 5

Was this not occurring BEFORE you got married? Just sit down and try to talk to her. She is your wife now and communication is the biggest key in a marriage...you have got to learn to communicate. Also only you can pick your battles, meaning, its not worth arguing over small things. As long as no one is getting hurt, the small petty things can be overlooked. Life is too short, and obviously you love this woman, so enjoy your life together...and remember things could always be worse.

Answer 6

You both seem to be suffering of "adjustment syndrome". Dating, being engaged and being married...are COMPLETELY different territories. It takes love, time and patience to get to that state of bliss. Try to see things for what they are, silly things, If you want to go out with her, then take the initiative and ask her out. If she does not call you, then you call her. And guess what, if she's irritated and takes it out on you...what makes you think you don't do the same? Just breathe deep before you say the next time either of you start or get involved in an argument, stop and think if it is worth it to argue with the one you chose to spend the rest of your days.
Good luck

Answer 7

tell her how you feel. Start out by telling her how much you love and need her. Then let her know how it upsets you and see if you can talk it out over dinner. Make a compromise. It can not be onesided. It is just like a partnership 50/50. Try to write down your thoughts in advance, but find positive in her. Not all of the negative. Be kind loving and Evan affectionate, like hold her hand or touch it while you are talking. You want a lifetime of happiness. Not BITCHING & ACTING SINGLE.

Answer 8

Why do u keep arguing about petty stuff? There are some other issues obviously going on with you. If you love her you will stop this foolishness and focus on love instead of what she does when you are not there. If she's not cheating give her time to still be herself with other people besides you.

Answer 9

Rooney's answer is OK but I will tell you from experience that while compromise is a part of relationships, it only works if you are both happy with the compromise. If not, then you have to solve the problem.

Answer 10

its normal for couples to argue about little things. it may seem hard to take but you two will grow out of it as the relationship goes on. good luck