I deleted all my ex's pictures from my computer to make my husband happier that i did it, but i was on his laptop last nite and i saw all of his ex's that got me pissed off about it and not get any sleep over it,I asked him tonite does he have any of his ex's on his computer he told me no, when i saw them myself last nite about 12am what should i do about this,we have been married for 6months. Should i delete them myself? The reason why i left my ex's on there so i can just be friends when they com online. theres nothing wrong about that is there?
2006-12-15 14:22:08 · 13 answers · asked by Loveforsaken 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I wouldn't delete anything. He's a grown man, and marriage is not about controlling each other.
The fact that you have caught him in a lie is a totally different story. That would be my concern, not the fact that he has the pictures. If it is so easy to lie to you about this, then it will be easy for him to lie to you about other things as well. You need to open the lines of communication now if you don't want this to blow up to be a big ordeal. Tell him that you saw the pictures, you know he still has them, and that you don't appreciate being lied to. See where he takes it from there. You have to let him know that lying is not acceptable, because a good relationship is based on trust, and that we all have to be grown up enough to own up to the things we do or don't do. You can ask him why he still has them, and even tell him that it bothers you, but you can't MAKE him do anything. Marriage is all about compromise, and if it really bothers you, and he really cares about your feelings, he will delete them on his own.
2006-12-15 14:29:31 · answer #1 · answered by dragonlady 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is a saying that goes, "What's good for the goose is good for the gander." If he asked you to delete your ex's pics from your computer, then he should do the same for you. The fact that he lied about it may not mean that he is still in love with her or anything, maybe he simply forgot they were there. You need to be straight with him and find out why he wanted your gone when his are still there and if he lied about his pics...why? You have only been married for 6 months...get the communication going strong now and talk to each other or you will have more problems to come. Do not delete them yourself or that will make things worse. I can't say how important it is to be honest and upfront and talk to each other. Good luck.
2006-12-15 22:28:20 · answer #2 · answered by tmw36 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't delete his pictures that wrong. Don't do things to people you don't want done to you. Don't lose sleep over nothing because its not that serious to lose sleep over. Just have an adult conversation with him and be brief about it men don't like to talk about much of anything. No nagging and yelling. What you start you must finish. If you tell him it hurt you he may take them off but he will resent you if you do it. Can't change them pray for them be that help mate you said you would be a the wedding for better or worse remember
2006-12-15 22:32:44 · answer #3 · answered by tellthetruth 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, it's a laptop right? I say grab it tonight and throw it into bed with the two of you and "innocently" decide to do something together. Pull up the pictures and act all shocked and amazed that they are there...
He'll have to explain where they came from in the past 24 hours because he said they weren't there...He's either going to keep lying and that's a problem or he's going to fess up and delete them and make you happy.
I will tell you from experience guys don't really keep stuff like that over sentimentality. They are just too lazy to do the work necessary to get rid of it.
2006-12-15 22:37:18 · answer #4 · answered by snippers72 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Did you do it on your own or at his request? If you did on your own then your bad for not discussing such things with him first. You cant really get upset with him now.Remember its a PARTNERSHIP.
If you did it at his request though and he did not do the same it is poor characteron his part no matter what his excuse. plus he lied. lying is not acceptable. You should not expect things of partner that you are not willin to do, otherwise its a controll issue.
. You really need to talk about the rules of your relationship. things like chatting on line, ex's as friends, behaviour in public and private.
My spouse and I chat online but have very specific rules. no phone calls, no emails, no meet and greets, no web cams. It works for us. Other people enjoy web cams but i think full disclosure is needed. communication. communication, communication. and Congrats on your recent marriage I hope you resolve this and are blissfully happy.
2006-12-15 22:34:15 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
yes.. both of you were thinking about cheating and were keeping the options open. When you got married you should have deleted their names and so should he. You might want to think about getting out now before there are any kids. He is a liar and he lied because he knew he was doing something wrong.
2006-12-15 22:26:21 · answer #6 · answered by Jim V 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's only fair that if he insists you remove all your ex's photos off your computer, he does the same thing. Marriage is all about trust and reciprocation and communication. Don't delete them yourself, that could start a fight...but let him know how you feel and what you think. Good luck!
2006-12-15 22:26:35 · answer #7 · answered by Jen Armero 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
6 months of marriage and already distrust and suspicion is going on...do yourself a favor,im sure you husband isnt interested in chumming with your ex..either be a married woman and act the part or get an annulment...he should either get rid of the pic's or get an annulment....take the marriage seriously
2006-12-15 22:27:13 · answer #8 · answered by larry o 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think you should confront him about it and asked him why he lied. This isn't a good start to a marriage and you should let him know how hurt you are.
2006-12-15 23:13:22 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
DELETE....... After all "they aren't there" right.? You cant delete what doesn't exist. What can he possibly say?
2006-12-15 23:46:20 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋