I've noticed a certain repeated behaviour with some people. If someone does something kind or helpful for them, the recipient loses respect for the person helping out. Why is this ????? Because of this trait in people, I sort of keep them "at arms length" and appear indifferent to them. This almost always ensures that you'll get respect. Is this another example of "nice guys finishing last". Can this be explained? Is there a psychology explanation for this?????
2006-12-15 13:49:12 · 13 answers · asked by patrunnels 1 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Alot of people think that they can do things on their own, and they don't need help from someone else. When you do something for them, wether it be as simple as buying them a candy bar, or something more complex as paying a bill for them, they can sometimes take that as an insult. It's like you're saying to them ''I can do whatever you can't! Here, I'll prove it to you!!". So when that happens, and they lose respect for you, they are saying "Well I'm so glad for you! Now leave me alone, so I can prove that I can do it myself!".
People are funny like that. They want you to want to help, but don't want you to actually help them. It's kind of like, when you leave hints for a gift you want, but keep telling people that you dont' want them to buy it because you want to.
So in my opnion(which has no psychology education btw), the only psychological explanation is it's human nature. There's alot of people I know that are like that. And I don't blame you for keeping people with those attitudes where they need to be(not to be mean).
2006-12-15 14:05:48 · answer #1 · answered by Pluto 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are of course many sayings that come to mind: "familiarity breeds contempt" or "being taken for granted" but more important is the question:
Do you do kind and helpful things for people because you want something in return, or because it is the right thing to do?
2006-12-15 21:58:35 · answer #2 · answered by Clear thinker 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I think that it was due to the kindness that we have. With this just maybe it had delivered a different message, giving others to take total advantage to make full use of our help.
2006-12-15 21:58:58 · answer #3 · answered by maggotier 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ever heard the famous saying "no good deed goes unpunished".
The bad side of human nature.
2006-12-15 22:19:58 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
listen helping others only ensures you are dependable and so they become dependent on you it doesn't say they lose respect but gain it for you unless you do things you don't want or can't do so unless you say yes to things like that you are not disrespected you are dependable
2006-12-15 22:01:03 · answer #5 · answered by marion r 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They think that they can take advantage of you or they think that you are soft. You should never let people take the things you do 4 them for granted.
2006-12-15 21:53:53 · answer #6 · answered by lavender tots 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think that they "pretend" to lose repect for them in order to get them to continue to do nice things for them.
2006-12-16 03:26:25 · answer #7 · answered by Kevin P 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
...i know, tell me about it. Most humans crap on their helpers. Only a few actually show gratitude.
...why they do it? I don't know. You just ignore them and keep away...
2006-12-15 21:59:08 · answer #8 · answered by mørbidsшεεŧnεss 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ive never recognized such a thing in my life. maybe its possible that they are naturally stubburn and angry people. hope i helped.
2006-12-15 21:52:30 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It probably means they think you're easy. That happens to me. ALOT.
2006-12-15 21:53:29 · answer #10 · answered by applejockey 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋