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I am eighteen years old and just recently got married and i am so scared and confused. We have only been married for 3 mnths now and it seems as if we are growing apart. I think it is mostly because I am really stubborn and so is he so when we argue we ARGUE. I never really trusted anyone because i've been through alot although im only 18 and he recently did something i thought he never would he didn't cheat on me or anything and most people would say it is nothing but my past experiences and hurt makes me very untrusting of other people and now i feel kinda suspicious of him even though I love him more than I ever thought possible and I know he loves me and wouldn't do anything to really hurt me. What's the matter??

2006-12-15 13:04:18 · 11 answers · asked by Mickey 2 in Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

11 answers

You have to keep telling yourself that you can't judge him based on what others have done. Within yourself, you should say that he is innocent until proven guilty. We can't look for faults in others or we will always find them. This is why we as women should make sure that we have gotten rid of all the excess baggage before we began another relationship. It's not fair for anyone, no even me, to take others through things that we have experienced in our past relations. Arguing doesn't solve anything. What should be done, is talking and really talking. Not when you're mad at each other. But when you are calm, you and him should sit down and talk. He can encourage you by making statement such as baby I am going such and such place or will be here or there. If he is going to be late, he should call to give you respect. If you don't have trust, you have nothing. Not even a marriage. Marriage is something that is suppose to be special and you made a vow. A commitment that you are responsible for upholding to the best of your ability. When judged, you shouldn't want your answer to be I got a divorce because I couldn't trust him. When you did something wrong, God forgave you. He didn't hold that over your head. But you say that your husband has did no wrong. Yet, you hold over his head what others have done to you. He is having to pay the price for something that he hasn't done. Why should he? There are so many men out there on drugs, cheating, with diseases, and that are alcoholics, not to even mention abusive. But you have a good man from what you are saying. Really think about how blessed you are and learn to appreciate it. Good Luck.

2006-12-15 14:43:57 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1 0

I am sorry you are confused and scared. There are a couple of problems. Having past experiences that involved hurt damages a person so that the will have difficulties with future relationships. Being suspicious of your guy is one of the symptoms.
It's also true that the brains of the young do not mature until the mid-twenties. So, you have a couple of strikes going against you; That doesn't necessarily ruin the relationship but it makes it difficult. You might very well benefit from counseling or therapy.
Let me guess that the arguing is mostly about stuff that doesn't matter too much except you both need to be right. There are deeper issues that are involved than the subjects of the arguing.

2006-12-15 13:14:13 · answer #2 · answered by DelK 7 · 1 0

if you guys argue about things that are silly ..you know like really little things, you guys should try to ignore it. But if it is about untrust, sit down and talk with him. Discuss about how you feel. Between, you guys are too young to get married. If it could help, live apart from each other for a short period of time to finish your study or anything, and you guys feel ready, get back together.

2006-12-15 13:14:00 · answer #3 · answered by LadyXSakura 3 · 0 0

WEll how long were you tog. before getting married ? That has a lot to do with things and sorry to tell you that is apart of being young and married. I have the same problems and I am 21. I think it takes TONS of work to make a marriage work on both parts and if you and him are not willing to do that then you have a long hard road ahead of you.

2006-12-15 13:27:01 · answer #4 · answered by mommy of 2 4 · 0 0

Stop arguing and start to listen, first year are really tough as you will discover new things about your husband and so will him.. Give your self a chance and get some advice from older people.

2006-12-15 13:45:16 · answer #5 · answered by MissFretNot 3 · 1 0

SWEETIE I THINK THAT YOU MADE A VERY IMMATURE DECISION THAT YOU REALLY DID NOT SEE ALL THE WAY AROUND THE CORNER ON. WHICH I UNDERSTAND BECAUSE YOU ARE 18. YOU ARE STILL GROWING AND LEARNING AND COMING INTO YOURSELF GETTING MARRIED SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE LAST THING ON YOUR LIST. WHAT'S DONE IS DONE IF YOU WANT TO SAVE YOUR MARRIAGE YOU HAVE TO WORK TO MAKE IT RIGHT AND DO WHATEVER IS NECESSARY TO SAVE IT.

2006-12-15 14:28:39 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

I think you got married much too young and before you were ready.

It would be a really good thing if you guys went to couples counseling....it's something you should have done before you said "I DO".

2006-12-15 13:17:02 · answer #7 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 0 0

Oh sweetie....didn't anyone warn you about the first year of marriage? It's TOUGH! You're both still growing and learning...it's important to just work together and COMPROMISE.

Marriage belongs on a resume, I swear!

2006-12-15 13:10:44 · answer #8 · answered by Kiss My Shaz 7 · 1 1

you made a adult choice as a kid (sorry 18 is a still a kid) you have only two choices ,

1 grow up fast
2 divorces him (cut your losses ) go back home to school where you belong , get a education and get your life back on track

2006-12-15 13:12:54 · answer #9 · answered by jac 5 · 0 1

get out now before children are involved in this bad relationship

2006-12-15 13:55:16 · answer #10 · answered by iseemen 5 · 0 1

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