how can i make myself stop calling him?

Question

i didnt want to loose him, he came around partically 4 sex we have 2 girls 2gether been seperated for about 4mon i left the house after 5mon of him partying & coming home everyday at 1pm etc & now i feel like something is missing its hard 2 understand how he 1day decided it, that our marriage was over & there was nothing left 2 do. i tryied 2 go 2 marriage counseling but he didnt want 2, i have begged him 2 work it out & nothing! i know there someone else involve, so why do i still want 2 be with him, why dont i have dignity & face that fact that he doesnt want me in his life anymore, why? why can i get closure and move on, why do i feel like my life is missing? i have my daughters who i should be thankful 4, but i feel like i need him & there is a piece missing in my life this is 2 painful & it really physically hurts is a gut pain that i wish didnt have is like they crumble your stomach/heart into pieces, how do i tell myself that this is it & there's not much 2 do how do i move on

Answer 1

Now is the time to go to counseling to work through why you think you deserve to be with someone like him. Even though you are hurting now, you were hurting before he left. The pain will subside a little every day that goes by without him. I have been through the same thing. You deserve much better, and he is out there waitng for you.

Answer 2

The reason it's so hard is becasue of the life that you had built together. you say you have two kids and having kids with someone is a big step in a relationship. The reason that you miss him is probably becasue of the fact of how close you thought you were. But to me it sounds like he wasn't a very good man. Partying all the time, coming home late, leaving you to take care of the kids, only coming around for sex? I'm sure you can do better than him. The only way to move on . . . well . . . is to move on! Find someone new who is better for you and your kids! I wish you the best of luck! and i hope that i have helped in some little way!

Answer 3

Very tough when you've got lived with any individual for a even as. You get used to them being there and whilst they aren't it may be very tough to take delivery of the truth and in addition very lonely. You have to attempt to suppose this by way of logically, as you mentioned it used to be now not running so most likely you each got here to an amicable descision to separate. Well do exactly that go away him by myself and transfer on....you don't desire to get right into a hindrance wherein he begins to hate you due to the fact that you're fitting a nuisance. So get in the market and get a passion or whatever to take your brain off of him. If you'll get a passion that takes you out within the night time in order that you're now not residence by myself and living at the beyond. So a lot the higher. It would require a nice deal of force so that you can come by way of all of this trauma however you recognize that you just have got to reduce the binds. It does now not imply that you just can't be peers does it. Move onwards and upwards. All the fine and spring and the sunshine evenings will quickly be right here and you'll begin to look matters in one more gentle.

Answer 4

I wish I could tell you it will get easier. It will but it will take time. I know I have been there. Once they decide they don't want to be with you, it feels like you heart has been torn out of your chest. I have finally met someone that enjoys being with me and is not ashamed of me. Don't get me wrong even though things are finally looking up for me I still cry myself to sleep at night and I struggle every day not to call him. Just remember all the bad times and the way he treated you that is what keeps me from calling. Believe it or not you will meet someone and then you will wonder why you had such a hard time letting go. You have a chance to be happy I doubt they ever will be. Best of luck to you.

Answer 5

I'm sorry for your pain. I know it's hard, but you have to give it more time. You're lucky, you're not alone. You have your 2 girls. I know you still miss him, but it was not a good relationship. Spend time with your girls, they will help you heal. You don't want your girls seeing you in a bad relationship. Growing up thinking that is normal. You deserve better and so do they. Live for them. You have to remember how it really was. You shouldn't have to live like that. Whenever you feel sad and lonely, go to your daughters and give them hugs and kisses and play a game with them. Let them fill your heart with happiness. Wait until you find someone who is going to love and respect you.

Answer 6

You don't have the courage to face the facts at its face value; because deep inside you, perhaps you still feel that your marriage deserves a second chance and is worth saving. I say all marriages are worth saving unless they have a real dose of infidelity; abuse (physical, emotional, or drugs). So I suggest don't beat yourself on the whys.

How to get over him and stop yourself from calling him? Realized for fact what he is worth in your life and what you are worth to him and what yourself is worth to you. Put them in writing and see for yourself whether you are or whether have always been on the short end of the stick. Perhaps that will give you a clearer picture of the true picture of your partner and in the same token give you a clearer view of what is your self-worth.

We all wanted to be treated with love and respect and if we are not getting that in a relationship, I suggest try to move on even if it is gut-wrenching.

Good luck.

Answer 7

I definitely agree with the first answerer that you can go to individual counseling to help you move forward. And in the meantime if you are tempted to call him, distract yourself with something else. Invite a girlfriend over to watch a video, or take the kids out to the park, whatever will help you to enjoy yourself and not be alone.

Answer 8

Well first of all, the reason why you can't accept it and move on with your life is because you love him and until you see it with your own eyes, you just won't be able to accept it. I had a similar problem except we wasn't married. I knew that he didn't want me no more, but I just couldn't let him go. Thank God we didn't have any kids together. But you do and you need to be strong for your kids, and for him to do you and your kids like that is f**k up. It is gonna be hard, but you gotta move on. Think about it, you are more important to yourself than him. Yea you love him but you love yourself more. It yourself by ending it, instead of letting him hurt you more than he already has.

Answer 9

It's called co-dependency, get over it, and find yourself a better man....lot of prospects out there if you look.

PS; Be honest upfront and let any new man you are interested in know that you also have children. I went out with a person who didn't say anything for almost a year. We would meet at a restaurant or nightclub and go to my place, and after, she had me drop her off at her moms place. I dumped her for not being upfront, and not because she has kids.

Answer 10

just have got to move on he has showed you that he only cares about his partying and he is steady disrespecting you by coming home at 1pm and he doesn't want to even try to go to counseling because he wants the marriage to be over now it's up to you to get the strenght to gather up your girls and move on you don't want your girls to feel that this is how relationships are suppose to be you should not want them to be mislead by there mate and feel like you feel right now Sorry,but you should come to term and accept that it's over and move on and maybe your next partner will treat you better and love you unconditionally