I have a friend whom I fell in love with. We have talked and agreed that things would not work out between us in a relationship. She now has a boyfriend that hates me entirely. He has sent me emails and has called my house harassing me and then denies this to her, even when I have traced the IP of the emails to his ISP.
She swears that I am her greatest friend, but she doesn't want him to be mad at her. There have been times when she would not talk to me for 10 days or so. Later she explains this and says that he was mad that she was talking to me and she didn't want him to be mad at her. I asked her if it would be easier if I left. She cried and said please don't. I feel really bad about the entire situation. Would it be better if I cut off contact with her? Would it be better for her to not have the issues with him regarding me? She is convinced that she loves him, and I wouldn't want to interfere with that. I just want her to be happy. What should I do?
2006-12-15 12:00:17 · 18 answers · asked by wanderingphotographer 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
As a friend you should stick by her side. You know her well and he doesn't for the fact that you are considering cutting her out of your life to make her happy shows that you trully love her. Bring it to her attention that no matter what happens you want the best for her and that you will always be there when she needs you. If he wants you out of her life that much then something is wring with him he does not have her best intentions at heart because if he did he would see how much you mean to her. Believe me she will see it sooner or later and you should be there for her and honestly you guys would work in a relationship you jus have to make it work talk to her and tell her how you feel.
Hope everything works out
2006-12-15 12:06:55 · answer #1 · answered by Mickey 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you two are good friends, dont cut off contact with her. If you two are good freinds you would be able to talk to her about the situation and tell her how you feel about that. If she has a boyfriend that totally hates her best friends guts then it would be weird for her to be with him. I mean especially if you are in love with her. You need to be catious around this guy but if he keeps harassing you, you might want to take it to the police so that she believes you over him. She is your best friend and it isnt right for this to be happening...talk to her and make sure you have people know where you are so nothing bad happens...good luck :)
2006-12-15 20:05:04 · answer #2 · answered by Jenifer M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cut her off..she has decisions to make . If she wants you in her life she'll get in touch. Let her know that you care and stop contacting her . She needs a crutch to support her ambiguity towards her new love and knows you are there to support her..It sounds like she's not even sure about this guy anyway....
She needs space !
Cut her off from that support and you may get your desired effect.
She needs space to decide between the both of you and she doesn't have that if you are there for her as an emotional crutch..
good luck
2006-12-15 20:08:21 · answer #3 · answered by cesare214 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been in HIS (the boy-friends) shoes, and it is frustrating from all perspectives. Basically this lady wants to have her cake and eat it too I.E. two guys that are chasing her! This dude is obviously lying to her, and I feel the best thing you could do is make yourself unavailable to her and let time tell the tale. Chances are she will break ties with him and hunt you back down.
If you truly love her... set her free!
DON'T FORGET SHE IS NOT THE ONLY GIRL IN THE COUNTY!
2006-12-15 20:15:11 · answer #4 · answered by kansascowpie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is this singer by the name of BRANDY and her song goes just the same way as the question, maybe vise versa.
2006-12-15 20:03:08 · answer #5 · answered by Ericqua 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
distance yourself from her, sounds as if this guy is a controller with a low self worth, and believes u are moving in on his girl. wait until she calls u, as she will, this guy sounds like a person who might abuse her and control her. just be there for her when he hurt her.
2006-12-15 20:08:17 · answer #6 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As harsh as it is you should go. She has unfortunately made her choice, and as sad as it is it's not you. You should move on and find someone that you can love and have love you equally as much
2006-12-15 20:04:04 · answer #7 · answered by Dena 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be there for her. If she needs you, sh ewill come to oyu, and her bf needs to understand we all need friends outside the relationship, even if their partner doesn't like them.
2006-12-15 20:03:19 · answer #8 · answered by rainthatwalks 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well leave her the choice of you or him. say that you wish it didnt have to be this way but obviously her bf has made it clear that there is not room for the both of you.
2006-12-15 20:18:28 · answer #9 · answered by summer girl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think that u need to go with your gut:
do you think u still have feelings for her? stay
if u think she has blown u off one 2 many times? go
good luck
2006-12-15 20:08:54 · answer #10 · answered by Lucky#11 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋