you're the one training her? I try to be nice, I try to be fun and friendly. She has just been not paying attention, rude, cursed at me, not do things coz she didn't want to...even though we could get fired, she takes advantage of the manager leaving all the time, etc. I just need to get along with her, please, now that I see how she is and my feelings are hurt, and I am changed in the manager's eyes now coz of this woman saying I didn't tell her things that I did tell her...multiple times. Please help with good ideas.
2006-12-15 11:29:51 · 9 answers · asked by size 12 dummy 2 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
We are only three employees with lots of volunteers and I told the manager already and she told the other employee what was said and then we both were in her office discussing the importance of open communication and how she has to listen and I have to speak up. (I did!) The other employee just smiled and tried to say she has no problem with me...then later on said I didn't tell her the things she had to do...when in fact, I have for over a week and she said it wasn't important...and has resumed a fakeness around me in front of the manager. I was not too lenient or anything, and when I said "friendly and fun" I meant within the context of being a nice person to be around instead of a harsh "do this, do that" type of witch. I was reasonable and following the manager's example, actually. You all have great answers I can apply to a larger company in the future and a little bit for now. Thank you very much, all of you.
2006-12-15 23:32:52 · update #1
She used to be in a very high position at a state job and the first time she changed her attitude toward me was when she asked what I'm majoring in, and I told her, and she asked if it were hard for me, and I said no, just the math classes are. She closed off to me ever since then and I wonder if that has anything to do with it. Her being older, her having been in rehab and having had a really great job once, her struggling with psych classes, my not.
2006-12-15 23:35:16 · update #2
I have 11 years of Management experience with a large distribution company of 1200 Employees and I maxed at 55 direct reports. I can tell you that issues like this should not be overlooked because it ultimately costs the company money! I’m sure your Manager would be interested in this situation and he/she would want this resolved ASAP. Of course we must consider if this has gotten out of hand and what you have or have not done to get this situation where it is today. If I were you I would approach the situation in this fashion (within the next week):
1.Document all of the issues you stated above with as much detail as possible. Basically, get your facts together and focus on what went wrong with the training. Directly deal with your hand in the situation, did you start your relationship off on the wrong foot with the trainee by lack of professionalism? This engulfs things like bad mouthing the company and/or Manager (whether you meant it or not), using leniency with the trainee which allows them to control the environment which causes you to lose your control and focus on your training responsibility, not taking things seriously because you wanted to be liked which causes the trainee to lose respect for you, etc. (not sure if this applies)
2.Leave a message with your Manager stating that you need to schedule a meeting with him/her to discuss your (trainee) progress and concerns. Schedule your appointment later in the week after you complete step 3.
3.Prior to the meeting with your manager, have a serious and professional conversation with the trainee. Regain control over the environment and let her know that you will be discussing her training progress with the Manager this week. Explain your training responsibility and loosely cover the details that are hindering you, Let her know that you both must at this point, set aside the fun and games and get focused on her training. Direct the conversation in a manner that she will feel accountable for her actions going forward and she will take you seriously.
4.Approach your scheduled meeting with your Manager by explaining that you would like to discuss the trainee’s progress. There should be no need to go into a lot of detail (maintain your integrity) but discuss the fact that you were having issues with (trainee) focusing on her training, which has resulted in her inability to grasp various items that you have covered. Briefly discuss your conversation with (trainee) and the fact that you explained the importance of your responsibility and desire to effectively train her. Let your Manager know that you are not sure how well she received your message and just wanted to prepare him/her for any issue that may result from this conversation.
I do hope that your Manager has an open door policy that makes him/her available for such concerns now or in the future.
Stay focused!
Based on the “Additional Details” you added, it sounds as if she may be somewhat intimidated by you which is a personal conflict. If this is the case, you will have to worry more about the work at hand and focus less on the “personal relationship”. You can continue to be friendly (be yourself) but do not get absorbed in it. Try these tactics:
1. Cross your T’s and dot your I’s!
2. Let your manager know that you plan to keep an objective and goal oriented training journal documenting your trainee’s progress and weakness.
3. With the Training Journal in hand, periodically go through the training as a whole with the trainee discussing her overall knowledge with various job duties/functions; in order to create accountability have her “sign off” on areas she feels competent in.
This will lessen her efforts in undermining you.
It always helps to have a journal when issues like this arise and a Manager must get involved. You will prove that you have attempted to train her completely and the results of that will be displayed. In a professional manner, always keep your Manager informed of your training strategy and seek advice when needed. If your Manager ultimately must address the trainee, he/she will appreciate the training journal in his/her effort to confront the matter. Using these tactics will help the Manager to see through the smoke screen and you will uphold your position in the highest regard.
Remember you cannot always be friends with everyone; in this case you must work to get the respect you deserve in your position with the company and complete your assigned task.
Best wishes and have a Merry Christmas!
2006-12-15 14:02:38 · answer #1 · answered by karen_doles 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You didn't say how big the company is.
If you don't feel comfortable talking to your manager about it, you need to find someone else who trusts you enough to know the difference between truth and gossip. If the company you work for is large enough, it should have a human resources (HR) department (or a least one HR representative depending on the size of the company). An HR person should be able to help with your situation.
If you don't have an HR rep. or dept., you may just have to bite the bullet and talk to the manager about it.
Talk to someone as soon as possible. This situation could cause you stress that could affect your job performance. It may be uncomfortable to talk about, but you'll feel better once you've done all you can.
DON'T badmouth the employee if you have to talk directly to a manager because the manager could end up respecting you less. If you talk to an HR person it's supposed to be more confidential (unless someone's committing a crime), so you should be able to say what you want. Try to point out how she acts unprofessionally and it's distracting (and talk about when she was rude or cursing at you) rather than saying she's fake. Always try to stay as professional as possible when talking about her.
DON'T try to sabotage her to make her look incompetent because it could backfire badly. The manager may just say you didn't train her well enough.
At my job I have to make sure people are informed of changes. Even if someone sits right next to me, I send an email to inform of important rules or changes. Keep all your sent email and with problem people try to get read receipts (proof that they saw the email). This way, if she says that she was never informed, you can just pull up the email and say, "I sent it to you last Monday (or whatever)."
2006-12-15 11:45:27 · answer #2 · answered by q_midori 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to speak to your manager about the office. Just say that you have noticed that a few member of staff have taken over the office and you are therefore struggling to get your work done and you would appreciate any help they can offer you. Or you could point out to the long serving employees that they have taken over the office. The next time somebody says ""share this office with anyone anymore" you could say, in all innocence, "but I thought this was every body's office. When did Management give it to you three?" KD - been there and done that
2016-05-22 22:10:15 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are the one training her, I guess you have training manual for her to read. You can assign small jobs to her and let her display her ignorance. First time, give her a chance by sending her an email to explain to her what are the errors and where to refer to in th manual for the right answers. 2nd time, send her a stern warning. 3rd time, send her a warning and copy the manager.
She can attempt to do all the rights things when the manager is around but luck cannot be always with her. If she is abusive, there is no need to tolerant her. If your manager is going to believe what she says and put the blame on you only, is it worthwhile working for him?? You don't need to suffer.
2006-12-15 11:39:31 · answer #4 · answered by jumbo_dumdum 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know, this is not worthy of your fretting and stressing over. This woman has no integrity. You do. I would like to suggest that you might want to use some Emotional Freedom 'meridian tapping' to free yourself of the negative emotions from the past that are triggered by this woman's trickiness. This is a fine, easily understood and applied technique. If you feel like you need some help from a practitioner, they are listed on the site (often psychologists). If you are at a stage in your life where you want to break through the blocks and really make significant changes I would like to direct you to the Emotional Freedom Technique--EFT --site where you can download the free Get Started Package at http://tinyurl.com/yh5zhu, or if you want to dive in right away by purchasing the inexpensive instructional DVDsn click here>>http://tinyurl.com/ycwle8 Read the testimonials on
this site and you will know how effective this energy therapy is.
Don't get pulled into the Turkeys' Barn--Soar on Eagles' Wings!
Cynthia Zirkwitz
Certified Comprehensive Coach
Moderator for My Monday Miracles
http://ca.groups.yahoo.com/group/My_Monday_Miracles/
2006-12-15 11:45:14 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's surprising that she hasn't gotten fired yet! I would first try to talk to your coworker. Tell her that her office etiquette is off balance, and believe it or not, she still has a job that she needs to learn how to do. If after you talk to her she still continues to be rude, etc., I would take the matter up with your manager. Have a private meeting with your manager and tell her that your coworker has not been completing her duties and that you've tried talking to her. Your manager should take immediate action and she should have a serious talk with your coworker. Good luck!
2006-12-15 11:41:25 · answer #6 · answered by ccccc12345 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you should pull the manager aside and say "this girl needs to be trained by some one else. Our personalities make it so that she does not want to learn anything from me. I have tried but she looks down on my abilities and I think that it is going to make it bad for our company when she tries to go out on her own, and personally, I don't know what you saw in her when you hired her, but she may not be all that you think she is." And since your manager believed enough in you to choose you to train her, then they must value what you think to some degree...
2006-12-15 11:38:01 · answer #7 · answered by sophia 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like she is trying to undermine your ability....in an attempt to take your position. Stand your ground...she may even try to mess around with your boss. Not to worry she is at a lost if you train her to be the best and she failed the test when you have moved on.
2006-12-15 11:34:11 · answer #8 · answered by Prudent World 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would talk to your manager, and tell her what is going on. She should believe you over her. You have been there alot longer then she has.
2006-12-15 11:35:42 · answer #9 · answered by mickey 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋