Confused...?

Question

I've had problems with my sexuality my entire life. I don't wanna get into what I think has brought it all on, but I'm just asking for some advice on how to deal with it a little better. I've been questioning my sexuality for about 6 years. When I was 15 I just told people I was bi, because the way I've been brought up. I don't wanna admit it to myself that I may be a lesbian. I don't wanna admit it to anyone else, but lately I'm just less and less attracted to guys and I just...don't know...

There's only one guy I've ever met that I could even think about as anything more than a friend, and now I don't even see him as more than a friend. Could that make me a lesbian?

Answer 1

If you have doubts you probably arent a lesbian. I dont beleive in such things personally.

Answer 2

There is nothing wrong with the way you feel if you are a lesbian or not. BUT I would not spread the word around that you are that way or don't understand how you feel you know how people are. I think somethings you should keep to yourself, at least for a while, not to hide it, but just to be safe. Why put yourself in danger by telling others this? I just think that maybe things will come together in time and you will know later on. What makes you a lesbian is if you choose that, not if you don't think of a man as a friend. I had a guy friend that was gay, I loved him, he was so sweet, he took me out to eat and movies all the time. I found out later that he was gay. (I wasn't gay it upset me because I knew he didn't feel the same way about me) I was shocked, but he was the best friend I'd ever had. Even to this day. We had a friendship that was quite grand there will never be another friendship like his and mine.

Answer 3

I think that if you're doubting your sexuality to any degree, you shouldn't put any labels on yourself. I don't necessarily believe that whether or not you're a lesbian is a choice...it is who you are and where your feelings lie if that would be the end result. Your disinterest in men though doesn't necessarily mean you're a lesbian, it may just be that you're not interested in or attracted to any men that are around you. If you're a lesbian, you would find that you are attracted to women as opposed to men...not simply just not attracted to men.

A lot of times, the confusion isn't about your sexuality at all, because you may already know where your preferences lay. A lot of times the confusion is on a deeper level and involves fear. I know a lot of lesbians that came to the realization of their true preference in stages... a lot of times it is more for the benefit of those around them than for their own. Kind of like letting people just get used to the idea of them with someone of their own sex even if on a part time basis.

I learned during the process of my own coming out that you can lie to the world, but you can't lie to yourself. Follow your heart and let it lead you to the path that is right for you. Be it, straight...bi...or lesbian. As for the lesbian aspect, I can only say this...the longer you deny or refuse it within you, if you feel deeply that you are a lesbian the more unhappy you will become gradually if already after six years you are this confused. If in the end you find that you are straight, then I go back to the point that maybe you just haven't found the right guy for you...Either way be true to yourself and explore where your true feelings lie...it is vital. After all, it is unfair to anyone that you choose to get involved with and also to yourself to not have your mind and heart in it 100%.

Answer 4

Ok....If you have identified yourself as Bi, to a lot of people, you are already considered a "lesbian".
Just being disinterested in guys or sex doesn't necessarily mean you are a lesbian. Only if you are actually attracted to other women.
Just don't deny what you are really feeling. Denying yourself can cause many more problems as you may have already found out.
Physical and Emotional attractions are different things. So make sure they are on the same page. Or, at least, find out what your passions truly are.

Answer 5

Plenty of people believe that we're ALL, to some degree, bisexual but society pushes us to be "one thing or the other" and so we think we must be gay or straight. The Kinsey Scale kinda represents this.

You might find yourself floating up and down that scale or it could very well be that you were simply afriad to admit to yourself that you were grasping at some level of heterosexuality for the acceptance it represents.

I don't think anyone here can really tell you who you are, though. You need to figure it out... and, bi or not, str8 or not, you should first do what makes you happy. You don't need to label yourself anything at all. If being with a woman makes you happy, then that's all you need to worry about. Whether you're gay, bi or any other label you might hear, what matters most is that you're happy.

Answer 6

Maybe you just don't know any decent looking guys? Could you not picture yourself being with a guy? If so...you may be REALLY confused, or lesbian. I am not trying to stress you out, because it sounds like you really really dont wanna be lesbian, and i really really dont wanna be bi. this is something we can relate to.

Good luck to you and me...

Answer 7

Please don't punish yourself for having feelings for the opposite sex and by all means stop putting a label on yourself as society is already very good at doing that for us.

Remember that your instincts are your compass to your life don't ignore them and please do not be ashamed to explore your inmost feelings... Rely on your public library for literature with questions you might be fighting with and making you so confused.

Answer 8

You may like girls and do what your instinct tells you. Perk up sweetie and see the light

Answer 9

If you don't like men then you don't like men. If you're only interested in women then I'd say you're definitely a lesbian. Welcome to the club!

Answer 10

i truthfully dint think you made the choice. the choice was made for you when you were an embryo.