I am having a really hard time with my boyfriend. We have been dating for a little over a year and live together for about 3 months. We broke up for about a month or so here a while back then we got back together. Everything was great of course for a few months but then it just got so crappy again. He works nights and I work days so it is not that often that we get to see each other.Example: last night we had a night off together and he said that he wanted to take me out to eat. So I was like great! So I got off of work and I had a tun of stuff in my hand when I was trying to walk in the door and so I knocked and it woke him up, he was asleep on the couch. So he jumps up all pissed off and in a bad mood. He was aggravated about everything and was trying to make an arguement out of everything. So he finally says, well I guess lets go out to eat....more money I am going to have to spend so I guess that's the more that I have to work. He was making me feel guilty for something that I didn
2006-12-15 09:33:06 · 19 answers · asked by TNL 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
even ask to do. Then once we got there he got mad about everything. had me crying at the table and everything. I am just not sure that he is right for me anymore. I love him and his daughter but I am not sure I can do this anymore. What do you guys think!?
2006-12-15 09:34:12 · update #1
btw..I am 21 and he is 26
2006-12-15 09:52:54 · update #2
Sometimes you just know inside when it isn't right - when he doesn't love you the way you want him to love you. When he isn't just pleased to see you the way you're pleased to see him and when something should be happy and fun and, instead, it's just always complicated and upsetting.
When you have a lot invested in a relationship, it's natural to try and rationalise and make excuses for why he's behaving as he is. It's natural to think that it's just a phase and that his irritability is from having to work so hard etc. Sweetie, if he truly loved you and you hadn't been able to see each other much, then he would have been thrilled to see you when you arrived - whether you woke him up or not.
It can be incredibly difficult to accept that perhaps the depth of feeling isn't there on his side. Take a look inside your heart and see what it's telling you.
Personally I've had the experience of wasting a lot of my love, time and energy on an endlessly disappointing situation. I have the real - completely reciprocated - thing in my life now and just wished I hadn't wasted so much of myself before.
Keep your dignity and vote with your feet. Let him know you expect more for yourself.
2006-12-15 10:23:37 · answer #1 · answered by carokokos 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Your boyfriend obviously has a lot of issues that he needs to deal with and obviously whatever it is that is bothering him is causing him to take it out on you. Why not suggest some counselling and see how that works. If you are not getting what you need out of a relationship sometime although it is hard to admit we made a mistake it is easier to cut your losses and move on before you invest any more time and energy into a relationship that will never change. He doesn't sound very mature or that he has a lot of respect for you feelings. I can understand why you would feel unhappy and like you are being used. I am sure that you already know the right decision in your heart but you are just looking for some validation of what you are feeling. Good luck to you and you will be fine. God bless.
2006-12-15 17:56:19 · answer #2 · answered by Deirdre O 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
From what you described, he seems to have mood swings (for example, wanting to take you out to eat but then when the time comes gets upset that he has to spend the money). Maybe the fact that you both work different hours is aggravating him, or there is something else that is bothering him that he is not telling you. Maybe have a serious talk with him and tell him how you are feeling--if things STILL don't improve, it may be time to find someone that makes you HAPPY, not constantly upset. I know it is easier said than done. Good luck!!
2006-12-15 18:15:57 · answer #3 · answered by ♥Sodas♥ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to hear what happened. Sounds like he is a grouch. What made you 2 get back together? Boredom? I am wondering why he is like that? How is your sex life? He sounds bitter about working, have you asked him about his work life, if he is happy there? He shouldn't be taking things out on you! It doesn't mean you are not right for each other. Sounds like to me you both need some down-time from working separate hours, and go do something fun....I know it won't cure your problems completely, but it will let you guys blow off some steam. Try getting a babysitter all night and going to a hotel room. If you guys are sexually active, have sex like 5 times.....get dirty.
Maybe you guys need counseling? If you love him really, you should try to make it work.
2006-12-15 18:06:09 · answer #4 · answered by Stephanie H 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You know, you don't have to stick with the guy just because he's your boyfriend at the moment. If he's not right for you - move on, and keep looking. There's no shame in this. You can't expect every single relationship to work out - it's just life.
2006-12-15 17:42:52 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie, I think you need to find someone who loves and appreciates you. You don't deserve to be treated like crap from a jerk like that. That is so completely wrong for him to make you feel guilty about going out to dinner. I think it's time to move on. I know that isn't what you want to hear, but it's what would be best for you.
2006-12-15 17:43:03 · answer #6 · answered by Ashley 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think it's a good thing he is showing his true colors this early in the game. This is obviously not something you want to live with for the rest of your life. End it. You deserve better treatment and he will not change, they always say they will, but they dont.
2006-12-15 17:57:04 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'M SORRY TO TELL YOU THIS BUT IT WILL NEVER CHANGE. IT ALWAYS SEEMS TO GET BETTER FOR A LITTLE WHILE BUT IT ALL GOES BACK TO THE WAY IT WAS. IT'S MUCH EASIER TO SPLIT WAYS NOW. BELEIVE ME I'VE BEEN MARRIED TEN YEARS AND I'M STILL HOPING FOR A CHANGE EVEN THOUGH WE ARE GETTING DIVORCED. LOVE SUCKS AND ITS VERY HARD! MY EX WORKS A ROTATING SCHEDULE. I WORK DAYS. IT'S VERY HARD TO HAVE A LIFE LIKE THAT BECAUSE WE ARE ALWAYS WORKING AROUND THIER SCHEDULE AND FOR WHAT? IS IT APPRECIATED. YOU KNOW IN YOUR HEART WHAT TO DO. IT'S ALOT EASIER TO DO IT NOW IF THAT'S WHAT YOU WANT BUT IF NOT TRY TO SIT HIM DOWN AND TELLING HIM ONE MORE TIME. STICK YOUR GROUND.
2006-12-15 17:46:55 · answer #8 · answered by Leah C 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
leave him if u can't ake it anymore if he does that imagine what he will do later if u stay with him. hope that u make the desicion that is the right choice.Leave if u can't take it don't waste ur life!!!Good Luck Happy Chrismas.
2006-12-15 18:03:40 · answer #9 · answered by mysteryathelete 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Theres a billion guys out there,,I think you can do a lot better. Take care
2006-12-15 17:41:15 · answer #10 · answered by sea 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋