I don't understand why I can't let loose and be FUN. I feel that at times, there are sparks of my old self that come out because I used to be fun, but somewhere along the way, I just started taking life way too seriously. I think it is affecting my relationship with my girlfriend. I try to be funny and cheerful, but it just doesn't work sometimes. Is this a common problem? It seems like I never have anything to talk about either because my job consists of sitting behind a computer all day. I don't know that many people and really don't have any hobbies. I just want to be more interesting and intriguing so my girlfriend will want to be around me. We have a good relationship, but it just seems kind of "bleh" sometimes. Any advice?
2006-12-15 09:29:36 · 11 answers · asked by evilewok2006 1 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Go in the bathroom and jerk it off, that works for me.
2006-12-15 09:38:13 · answer #1 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 4⤋
Man,
THIS IS WHO YOU ARE.
You are, as you may call yourself, "boring" but that's because you don't actually understand yourself yet.
For example: can you name 5 strengths and 5 weaknesses about yourself?
If you can take the time to understand yourself and who you really are, then you'll find that there's a lot more you can share with other people.
Here's another good question: Can you name 5 strengths and 5 weaknesses about your girlfriend?
If you can, KUDOS to YOU! (Women are SO complicated)
But if you can't, then try to get to know her better, perhaps if you knew more of her interests, your conversations could be more interesting.
Now, the trick here is to be yourself. I know, so many people say this over and over, but it actually makes sense. Your mind is under a lot of stress when you try to act like someone you're not and it SHOWS! That's why it's such a big turn-off. Not only because some people are bad actors, but because the real confidence just isn't there. So you must have confidence in yourself, in who you are.
Now, I'm going to say something that you're probably not going to enjoy, but here is the truth: if your girlfriend does not like who you really are, then there's no real reason why she should be your girlfriend. If she can't accept the fact that you might be boring sometimes and if she can't see that fact that you have other qualities, then there's no point to the relationship.
However, she could also like who you really are, and that's just the way it should be.
Now, of change. People do change, and you CAN change into someone that is not "boring" but there must be a distinction between "changing" and "acting".
I guess the first thing that you have to do is to find out who you really are (and if you really believe it, you can work towards a change). When you know who you are, then you must learn to accept it, because how can others accept you if you don't even accept who you are?
Another suggestion is to have a talk with your girlfriend. Find out how she feels about your so called "boringness". It's hard, I know, but all that tension that you're feeling right now is neither good for you, or your relationship with her. If she (your girlfriend) really cares about the relationship, she'll talk.
2006-12-15 17:57:14 · answer #2 · answered by Simplex Spes 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think all relationships are like that, you get to a point where you think there isn't anything to say.
Smoking weed might help now, but in the long run I think it will make you more boring.
You can always talk about yourself or her or people you both know, those topics are interesting to the people involved, or you could talk about books, the news, ideas, opinions.....anything but weather and sleep. Those are the most boring topics imaginable.
Good luck!!
(if all else fails, just shut up and have more sex!)
2006-12-15 17:39:35 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its just you tensing up, maybe because your afraid of s c r e w i n g up? I've gone through it, what you need to do is try something spontaneous, not just acting it, do something that'll get your adrenaline going. Also, get a hobby! there are a TON of things out there to try and you can get your gf into it too. (just dont make it lame, pick up something you think shed like 2) or just try doing what your gf likes, if your worried about a dull relationship and you think words aren't working out then actions WILL. do something for her, doesnt have to be big, and thats all she should need to be reminded just why shes with you!
2006-12-15 17:52:32 · answer #4 · answered by Ayleena 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get interesting and unusual hobbies and be fascinated and passionate about a number of things. For instance, I personally am into jazz, investing and finance, Eastern culture, marketing research, online computer games, competitive strategy and a bunch of other stuff.
2006-12-15 18:29:39 · answer #5 · answered by KatGuy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey! Hey! Hey! Why don't you try the latest rage at "Party Colleges".....RELIGION.
I'm not kidding get with it RELIGION is really making a ton of difference in college life these days....check it out.
PLEASE let me know how you make out with this.
2006-12-15 17:55:23 · answer #6 · answered by oldtimer 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just do things that are risky even if you don't want to. Breaking into places, having sex in public places, sending circular emails about your boss. Hey, maybe getting fired will be the best thing that ever happened to me.
2006-12-15 17:43:53 · answer #7 · answered by totallyfree2rhyme 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
we all go through a period in life when we feel boring. I think its called growing up. in that case maybe its time to look a little deeper in your mind,especially the seedy side, and try something that makes you say mmm mmm mmmm
2006-12-15 17:37:00 · answer #8 · answered by Meemi 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Don't try so hard. Just talk and don't think what other people think about you it REALLY helps.
2006-12-15 18:08:08 · answer #9 · answered by Tixhaj 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hope this video can cheer you up...
X'mas Greeting Video: http://entrepreneurs-link.blogspot.com
2006-12-15 17:39:00 · answer #10 · answered by Tashi Khoo 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋