I've been with her on and off for 6 years and we have been through alot more than most have been through for a life time. When I break up with her she self-destructs and it hurts me to see this happen. I loove her and can't stand to see bad things happen to her --Just deal with it?
2006-12-15 09:26:57 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I'm in the same boat as you are. But we have children together. I've divorced her, But am still involved. For the strangest reason I just can't let go, When she cries it feels like my body is tearing up on the inside, But she does some of the stupidest things... She is 10 years younger than I am and the whole idea that women are supposed to be more mature than men frankly goes right out the door with me. sounds like your a sucker for LOVE like me. I wish you the best in your future.
2006-12-15 09:35:32 · answer #1 · answered by egreen3rd 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is not healthy for a relationship to be on again off again. You need to find out if you love her enough to stick with it. If it is to much for you, then you need to let the relationship go!! You say you don't trust her anymore. It is just as important to have trust for one another , as it is to have love for one another to make a relationship to work!! If you don't think you could ever come to trust her, then you need to think about doing something different for the better of you both. You also said that when you guys split up she self-destructs. Let me guess you get back with her for her sake, because your worried about her. Well maybe you should break up with her and not get back with her again. By getting back with her every time she self-destructs you don't give her the chance to get through the it. She needs to realize that life goes on and if you let her realize that your life could go on too.
I wish you the best of luck with your decision!!!!!
2006-12-15 09:48:20 · answer #2 · answered by noramom4life101 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What about you? Don't you love yourself enough to realize you are the one who is self destructing by sticking around in a relationship with no trust which basically means a dead end relationship. Don't hurt yourself anymore she knows she has you there it's a way to control you. Free yourself and find a relationship that will nourish you and elevate you but most of all that will bring you lots of love happiness and peace of mind with lots of unconditional TRUST.
Good luck!!!
2006-12-15 09:43:19 · answer #3 · answered by NINA 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you want to be with her or you only running back out of guilt? My guess is the latter.
big jimi said it. You cant save her. People are more resourceful than you think. Once she realizes that you won't be coming to her rescue she is much more likely to save herself.
You are actually hurting her more than you think by "helping" her. When she stands on her own two feet she will be a better equipped person to handle what the world is going to throw at her in the future not to mention you will be free.
Some "bad" things that happen to us are of our own making and hers may be designed to make you come running. So do you both a favor and at least try to let go. It's the best for you both.
2006-12-15 09:42:12 · answer #4 · answered by outdone 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it has to be her fault you don't trust her, you said "anymore", which implies that you used to trust her but she did something to you. therefore it is her fault when you break up with her because of her actions. and you can't have a relationship with someone you can't trust, you will always wonder if they are lying or not. and the stress isn't worth it. move on. if not this is going to be a vicious cycle and you will be in this situation all over again.
2006-12-15 10:05:34 · answer #5 · answered by pikachu 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If there's no trust then you need to move on. Tell here why you feel the way you do and try to end things on a note that she knows you will always be there for her
2006-12-15 10:03:55 · answer #6 · answered by fiestylady 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Man, I have so been there. It is called codependency. There is help for it. You are basically feeding off each others insecurities. Read up on the subject. You will be surprised how common it is, especially if you have been through hell together. Good luck to you...old patterns are hard to break.
2006-12-15 09:31:02 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
go ahead and stay if you want to be asking yourself the same question another 6 years from now. You said just deal with it, does that include saying good-bye, and moving on?
2006-12-15 10:03:26 · answer #8 · answered by WinterRaine 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What does it mean you don`t trust her?To me trust=love so when you can`t trust somebody you can`t possibly feel real and unconditional love for someone you suspect that cheats on you.
2006-12-15 09:40:19 · answer #9 · answered by kvcreom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't trust her, you need to let her go. You can't possibly have a happy and healthy relationship with someone you don't trust.
2006-12-15 09:34:47 · answer #10 · answered by Ashley 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋