Left my hubby of 8 years 3 months ago, married way too young. Had secret feeling for boss for quite sometime. We ended up hooking up and he told me he wanted to leave his wife and now it has been 2 months and he still has not done it. I truely love him and I believe he loves me. He has told his wife he does not love her and wants out but she does not take it seriously. I know I am wrong for what is going on, but we love eachother. I need really honest advice, I already know this is unethical & disgraceful, but I am doing everything I always was against. I guess you dont know until it happens to you.Help, how do I know if he will leave her?
2006-12-15 08:37:24 · 18 answers · asked by Lady 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You don't know. You can't know. Only he and his wife know their marriage. Be assured that he is only telling you things to make you feel sorry for him.
You certainly do no want him to leave his wife for you. If he is ready to end his marriage, he does not need you as a scapegoat. He needs to stand up and be honest.
As hard as it may be, you need to sever your ties with him now. If he divorces and the feelings you say you share with him are real, the two of you will have a future.
I wish the best for you. Good luck.
2006-12-15 08:44:31 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a real shame. See, this guy "loves" you for now, but he won't always love you. He is the straying kind. The kind of guy who loves himself the most and will promise you the moon and give you nothng, once he gets what HE wants. Why are you dating a married man? He probably has lied to you. He has NOT told his wife he wants a divorce. He really doesn't want that hassle, he just wants sex with you and will lie to you to get it. If he did leave his wife for you, he'd marry you and then have affairs on you. Don't you see? He has no character and no integrity. And you are breaking up a marriage and are the "other woman." Have some self-pride and go find a single guy to date.
2006-12-15 16:46:19 · answer #2 · answered by Wiser1 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We can't answer whether he'll leave her or not. There is no telling. But it will eventually come down to how long are you willing to wait for him. And honestly, its very selfish of him to assume that you will. Love is love yes, but eventually the need to be more apart of someone will be stronger than the love you feel for him.
Been in your shoes, fortunately we agreed from the very beginning not to lead the other into thinking we would ever leave our spouses. I eventually did for reasons beyond the affair, but he never has. We no longer see one another, but talk occasionally and we still love one another, but just too much to continue going as we were.
Ha!!! you people are funny, I was never the type to be with a married man either. But guess what! this incredable human being stepped into my life...and bam next thing I know I've giving up all my principles. Weak, maybe...but I'd do it all over again, because it was an experience I learned alot from as well as found out that there were genuinely nice guys out there compared to the @ssholes I was usually attracted too and married, twice. I still get dizzy thinking about how comfortable I was with him...oh well another life another time.
2006-12-15 17:13:53 · answer #3 · answered by gypsy g 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He will never leave his wife and children for you. Stop being naive and believing this crap. He has not told you that he loves you, nor has he fulfill his promises.
You screw up and now all of your plans of being together at last, had blown on your face because he doesn't have the guts. He just wanted something on the side and you took this as a promise.
Saying and doing are two different things, you need to evaluate your relationship with this cheater by his actions and not by what he is saying. He is just telling you what you want to hear to keep getting you in the sack.
Sorry honey but you need to wake up and smell the cofee.
Good luck (youa re going to need it)
2006-12-15 16:42:50 · answer #4 · answered by Blunt 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, Regardless of what anyone else on here is going to tell you, I understand the idea of love. It doesn't always have to do with what you thought you would think or act like.Sometimes you cant help but love who you love regardless if its what someone else thinks is right or wrong.
Girl, You have no way of knowing if he will leave her for sure. But if I was you I would remind him to the fact that if he in fact was truthful about wanting to move on with life with you instead of her then he best get to proving it.
You have shown him how much you want to be with him. Now its his turn. Just explain to him how you feel, and make sure you let him realize how he would feel if the shoe was on the other foot and he was waiting on you.
If his reasons seem legit as to why he needs to wait a bit, then its up to you weather you can wait.Just remember,sometimes things take time, especially when they are as complicated as this kind of thing can be.
Have a little more patience, if he does love you like you think he will do it. And if he don't leave her then your better off knowing now that he is full of s--t than 8 more years from now.
Good luck, life holds no promise.
2006-12-15 16:50:29 · answer #5 · answered by vmaxer85 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
To be honest with you it does not seem like this guy is going to leave his wife. Yes he may tell you that he has told her and yes he may have feeling for you. But coming from expericne .. I was seeing a guy that was engageed along time ago I learned he was just having his cake and eating it too. In the end he let me go and I found my hubby shortly after... I would say move on let go of him and find a one woman man you deserve it.!. Good luck.
2006-12-15 16:45:38 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i am going to give you really honest advice. he is not going to leave his wife for you. he can tell you he loves you all day long and you will believe that. were you there when he told you he told his wife that he didn't love her anymore? or was it by word of mouth? he is using you and you are allowing it to happen. it has been two months already and it will be a year before long. then the excuses will come along the way. i can't right now she needs me, i can't right now the children needs two parents.( if there are children involved). please leave him alone. your heart will be broken in the long run. good luck.
2006-12-15 16:58:15 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it's "unethical, disgraceful, against your principles, wrong" to quote you, then it's NOT love and nothing on which to base a real true love relationship. Get another job and don't look back. Even if he does leave his wife, and god forbid, his children.....it is still not real love.
2006-12-15 17:10:10 · answer #8 · answered by Raven 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you serious? That man is playing you like a new PS3! I tell you what, You already have your foot in the mess so just pick it up rinse it off and stay clear of putting it back in it. He's your BOSS, What were you thinking? Good luck.
2006-12-15 17:06:42 · answer #9 · answered by egreen3rd 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are being used and this is what happens to the other woman time after time. My guess is that he has never said anything to his wife. This would never happen to me because I would never date a married man, I am just not that kind of person.
2006-12-15 17:00:35 · answer #10 · answered by Urchin 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋