He's always shy and all my famliy knows him and likes him. What can I do to make him feel that he fits in.
2006-12-15 08:19:16 · 18 answers · asked by kitty 6 in Society & Culture ➔ Holidays ➔ Christmas
have your parents invite him...might make the difference.....good luck.....
2006-12-15 08:21:15 · answer #1 · answered by The Emperor of Ecstasy 5 · 4⤊ 2⤋
With the exception of the obvious smart alecs' answer, all those are great answers. The one thing you DON'T want to do is ask him (or as my husband says...nag) if he's ok, if he wants to talk to so and so etc. My husband is also shy, and the first few family gatherings i did that cuz my family is insane (scottish/spanish do the math). I made him feel more uncomfortable by sticking so close to him. Have the family include him in conversation but also let him find his own comfort level. he is a big boy now after all! :)
2006-12-15 08:31:10 · answer #2 · answered by divagirlie217 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Probably the only thing to pretty much do is just try to make him feel comfortable. Introduce him to everyone and get him talking with your family about things they both like. Besides that, maybe let him know what your family generally does, like if you have any traditions that your family always does. That way he know what to expect. I understand that he's shy, but the only way he'll be able to do feel like he fits in is if he has someone/something he can relate to.
2006-12-15 08:28:41 · answer #3 · answered by angels_cry16 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You didn't say WHY he doesn't want to go. Why do you think he doesn't "fit in"? You can't make him do that, btw! Maybe the way your family treats him makes him uneasy (just giving gifts isn't enough). Also, talk to your parents, if you know what they might be doing to cause him discomfort, and tell them to stop it. If they don't, then respect his wishes and go by yourself. You didn't give enough info to tell whether it's the boyfriend's problem or your family's or both!
2016-05-22 21:46:42 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
For such a good questions, it's unfortunate you got so many rude responses.
If it's potluck style, bring along a favorite dish of his or if not, ask that it be made there for him. Also let your family know what he's comfortable with, mostly in terms of hugging and faith (especially when it's different from theirs).
Personal experience is that the combo of not knowing many people and having your beliefs asked about can be very unnerving when you're a party guest.
2006-12-15 08:31:26 · answer #5 · answered by erythisis 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if your family likes him and is making him feel welcome, then maybe he will have to get over the insecurity he has when he's around them. Maybe your parents could ask him to help with something so he feels like he's part of whats going on rather than just a guest.
2006-12-15 08:27:29 · answer #6 · answered by mike 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Include him in conversations you are having with people. If someone mentions something he likes, bring it up to them while he's there. Also, so he doesn't feel dependant on you, leave him on his own for a while, and maybe ask your family to spark up conversations with him!
2006-12-15 08:22:47 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
have him help with something like preparing food or bring a game for him to join in with family. my best holiday memories are always the great fun playing cards & laughing our butts off for hours after eating.
2006-12-15 08:23:35 · answer #8 · answered by catwoman 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
match him up with 2 friendly relatives and rotate them who you have talked to make him comforatble, also introduce him around match him up with someone saying oh he plays golf, he loves this or that team, did you see that game last week.
Create a grid table and put names in, have a list of Topics to talk about
2006-12-15 08:23:16 · answer #9 · answered by god knows and sees else Yahoo 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I try to get mine involved in what's going on. Whether it's shooting pool with my uncles, or helping to get something ready in the kitchen. If there's no football game on, he seems to appreciate having something to do to avoid akward silences.
2006-12-15 08:23:08 · answer #10 · answered by CJ 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
if there will be family there that he hasnt yet met than introduce them to him... prodly fo example "aunt jane i would like you to meet my boyfriend of (time period youve been with him)...his name is(his name)"... talk to him...and treat him like family... enjoy his company and just talk to him before the xmas party starts tell him that your family likes him and would really like to see him make him self more at home..and they considor him family and would love to see him act like it!
2006-12-15 08:28:13 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋