I feel very shy when I am at a party where there are many people. I also feel less confident.?

Question

This also reflects at my job where I usually do not speak up during meetings. Can anyone help me with this problem. Thank you.

Answer 1

If you have an psychiatric condition that prevents you from speaking, the only thing that will help is seeing a doctor and working out a step-by-step plan.

If it's just normal shyness, then the only thing you can do is practice. Join a toastmasters or other public speaking group. It sucks the first few times you get up and speak, but eventually you get used to it and maybe even fantastically good. What you learn will translate to parties, social gatherings, meetings, etc.

I remember some very famous comedian, maybe Jerry Seinfield, saying in an interview that to this day he's incredibly nervous before going in front of an audience because he hates public speaking. Course when he's out there it's a different story. Go figure.

Answer 2

I’m sure you know what social anxiety disorder is and it doesn’t help when people continue to tell you that is what you have. You need help with fixing it and one thing you should probably start with is seeing a psychologist. Whatever you do, don’t take medication, it is not the answer. Trust me, I’ve taken them before. Because heading to the psychologist can be intimidating initially, start with some up-lifters on the internet. There are thousands of articles on this issue. Personally, I think your issue is intimidation. If you were not intimidated, you would have no problem speaking up. I can say this, because I too have your problem. What helps me is seeing everyone else as equal and not putting a single person on a pedestal. I think to myself that God put everyone on this earth for a reason, not for one person to be better than another.

Answer 3

a lot more people than you probably think have this problem but just mask it well. i used to be this way and sometimes i still am! just remember that you have something to contribute thats worthwile in your meetings too. usually the real shy ones have the best ideas. its all in your head. only you are telling yourself you are shy and less confident, no one else is. change your thoughts!! dont be afraid of rejection! mingle at the party. you are there to have a good time and so is everyone else. go for it

Answer 4

I'm the same way. It's NOT a problem, just our personalities. We are not very out-going with new people or crowds. It's very common. In fact, most people feel a little anxiety in those situations. If you want to be more social or vocal, than try to be. But realize that it is not problem and many people find shyness attractive!

Answer 5

Next time that your at a party try to get into the conversation at least seem to be part of it laughing at what ever joke is being said. This is the first step to start to feel confident. Same thing at work try to get involved when ever there is something happening, stay clear of gossip. Next time there is a potluck make something interesting so that it opens a line of communication.

Answer 6

I personally think you should not take any medications, heck I'm shy to its normal many of us are and many us aren't if you really want to change this you need to practice at it with try bringing up a conversation like "I saw this in the News that..." Practice is what you need. Practice social conversations more often you'll gradualy start to feel more confortable in them. Medication is plain out stupid for this kind of thing. Building self esteem will greatly benifit. Im trying everyday to.

Answer 7

You worry too much. You probably think and think about how to act and what to say, basically rehearsing...by the time your done with that you're mentally exhausted.

Stop worrying that you may say something "silly" and people will judge you. Who cares what people think..!! It's better to take the chance of saying something dumb, than not saying anything at all. Eventually, you'll break out of your shell and have no problem with this anymore.

So, quit over thinking things and just jump in!!

best of luck to you.

Answer 8

I have the same problem, both work and at partys/bars. I usually loosen up after a couple drinks and the night goes on just fine at the bar, but for work, go to your local mental health clinic and demand a prescription to xanax, that will take any social anexity and boot it out the door. If you really wanna be social, pop a xanny and have a couple drinks with it, it is highly unrecommended by doctors, but what do they know.

Answer 9

You have to force yourself to speak up. It will be uncomfortable at first. but once you do this a few times and deal with your anxieties associated with it you will slowly start to realize that they are fabricated within your own mind.

Also, try saying hello to people when you are in line at a store. I found it easier to speak with them because I didn't know them and It slowly will build your confidence up so you can express yourself to those that you know.

I use to be like that and this worked for me. Good luck.

Answer 10

look its hard for must of us, make a new years resolution that you will speak up more, and speak to at lest 3 people when your at a party. sometimes we just need a push. Good luck