he has been verbally abusive to my parents also..his mother supports him...moreover, they say to people that he is the victim..where as the truth is just the opposite...is it possible that he is mentally ill? because he always blame me whenever his anger breaks out...which is very often..even on slightest thing he doesnt like..although theres nothing wrong in it actually..he misunderstands everything and so does his mother...do they want to get rid of me so that they can bring a new wife as i didnt bring much dowry..he told me that he loves me but i doubt when he misbehaves....i m confused whats the reality---whether he wants me or not?? whether he is mentally ill or what?? please help me
2006-12-15 06:08:10 · 29 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Leave him I know it might be hard but nobody deserves such treatment. Just walk away you will feel much better in the end and find yourself in a much healthier relationship down the line. If you love him a lot try talking to him before you leave. Explain everything to him and I am sure he will blame you again and this will add wood to the fire to make you stronger to get up and leave.
Good Luck
2006-12-15 06:11:31 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all his Mother needs to stay out of your business. He needs to tell her that. If he doesn't want to change his ways then leave or kick him out and he can go live with his controlling Mother. If he truly loves you he will give this some thought and try to work it out. The only mental illness he has is, his meddling Mother. You are probably better off without this big problem. No one should be verbally or physically abused for any reason.
2006-12-15 14:27:21 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
No he is not mentally ill. He is just an abuser. This is the year 2006 and no one brings a dowry anymore around here. You get married to the one you love no matter what they have or don't have. He won't change so if you can, get out of the marriage and find someone who is not abusive and who can make it on their own without their MOMMY.
2006-12-15 14:12:37 · answer #3 · answered by mayihelpyou 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do you have kids? If recently married and w/o kids then better to be on the divorce side (discuss with ur parents first).
Otherwise it could be because of some repetitive frustration of ur husband.. give him time and also give urself time, try to root cause the point where most of the time you fight, most of the times 1 kind of issue creates troubles again and again untill it is sorted out.
It is also not sure that ur next partner will not behave like this... there could be a change in you that you need.. think inside.. it is said that changing urself is easier than changing others..
2006-12-15 14:51:16 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
First what do you think that your husband and his mother is going to say to people that he is to blame. The say that there are sometimes three sides to a story his, hers and the truth. You need to think about what love is and if he shows it. I knew this lady that her husband would say that his wife never did his cloths when he went to work looking a mess. He didn't tell them that he was out all night and didn't have time to go home to change. The bottom line is that you need to figure out what you want out of a man that says he loves you and then make a decision.
2006-12-15 14:24:56 · answer #5 · answered by sscott12414 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Leave him sweetheart! My daughters father was abusive to me and it took him accidentally hitting her for me to up and leave. It isn't worth it and you WILL find someone that treats you with respect and loves you the way a man should love a woman, I know I did. To this day, my ex and his family blame me for how he was and everything that went wrong in our relationship, you kind of just have to wake up one day and say I'm better than this and one day what he did to me will turn around and slap him in his face. I really believe there is some type of mental issue here, I mean no matter what I did, I was always the one with the problem. He has 3 felonies and went to jail 3 times, I was the ONLY one workign to get him out which I did end up doing... somehow though, the felonies ended up being my fault and no one even took notice that I paid thousands to get him out!! It's pure bull and I'm sorry it's happening to you. just get out before it's too late!!!
2006-12-15 14:20:23 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Listen to me, these people are mentally ill. Let me guess he blames you for thing he does or his mother does..right??? They live a victom life, nothing they do is wrong, they need someone to blame. In the end they will accuse you of horrible crimes, can you imagine what they will do during the divorce. They will claim you did all kinds of abuse...and they were just victoms of what you have done. Quit pulling your hair out trying to understand these freaks...run...don't walk run!!!!
2006-12-15 14:14:54 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Question: Should you stay with an abusive man?
Answer: No.
All the other things you wrote don't even matter. The question is simple, the answer is simple.
Want to learn something? Pick a better man next time.
2006-12-15 14:27:32 · answer #8 · answered by Dr. Kat 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Pray God to heal this relationship and help you. One day, things will work out. Have a little patience and perseverance. People can judge better. Just because your MIL and husband say that thye are victims, don't think that people will buy it or believe it. Believe me, every dog has a day so now it is his day...tables will surely turn and things will be in your favor provided you have faith and trust that it is going to improve. Divorce is not an answer as you may end up in a more difficult situation.
2006-12-15 14:20:18 · answer #9 · answered by SP 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Your husband needs to talk to someone he can trust. Not a family member about what is going on with him. He might be bipolar. If you attend a church maybe you should ask your pastor or Reverend to help.
You might need to separate until he gets the help that he needs. Verbal sometimes turns into physical abuse.
2006-12-15 14:17:24 · answer #10 · answered by Melissa 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋