I was having problems with my husband of now 13 years several years ago and had an affair. I've since moved to a different state and the man I had the affair with had gotten married as well. He has become divorced and we have started taliking on the internet. I'm not sure if this is really considered cheating because there's NO WAY we could actually see each other now. I am at an impass. I'm not sure what to do. I want to keep in touch with this person because we do have a history together. Any suggestion??
2006-12-15 06:01:59 · 52 answers · asked by ? 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
the clockworks of the relationship are different now, so it's not a bad behavior situation. it's wanting the familiar contact, the hint of no-no will make it more appealing perhaps dangerous like it was but the risk is not there.
i was napping with the boss's wife a year ago but now it's moved on i see her regularly, get invited over for dinner but no napping anymore. it's nature, a relationship that works tends to do so and we in our most basic instincts want it to.
2006-12-15 06:15:19 · answer #1 · answered by tommy beresford 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Just because you have a history with someone doesn't mean that it is a good thing to keep things going. The history you have is of one that was something that could and still can ruin your marriage. If the two of you wanted to get together then there is always a way. That is how things start by talking and then comes the flirting and so on. The question is what is more important to you a man that you had an affair with that didn't contact you until he was divorce or the man that you call your husband?
2006-12-15 06:07:37 · answer #2 · answered by sscott12414 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're going back for seconds! Why in the world would you strike up conversation and then sustain it with a former infidelity interest. The second you made that second contact, the cheating started all over again. Know, it's an emotional affair.
Here's the test... Does your husband know you are conversing with your former lover, have you tried to tell him or have you kept all this a secret? If one of them is a no, deary, you are cheating on him again.
You're explanation is an absolute abomination! You had an affair (history) with this guy, and this justifies hurting your husband again? Very low life-ted!
Don't be surprised when you get pimp slapped by your husband! He will certainly leave you since most people don't let the same dog bite them twice! Is your husband THAT horrible that you can't be true to him?
This behavior is the perfect example of someone that has ZERO morals and ZERO thoughts about her marriage.
2006-12-15 06:45:30 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hard to let go of someone you have chemistry with. But marriage is a commitment of the heart and of the mind. Cheating isn't defined only by physical touch. This man from your past is divorced, however you are not. You have a lot more to loose. If you can't solve things with your husband then figure that out and free yourself before you begin a possibly devestating affair. Internet chatting is just a safer way to cheat, but that won't matter is your husband finds out.
2006-12-15 06:07:59 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Girl, regardless if you can see the man or not just leave it alone. He is single and looking and you are married. It would be different if this was ONLY a male friend but he isn't. Remember that you are in a committed relationship MARRIAGE. You are emotionally cheating...your husband deserves to be the one that you talk to, that you share your problems with, not some other man. You are giving HIS time to some other man. Now put yourself in his shoes, would you like it if your husband was talking/emailing another female the way you do? What is right is right and what is wrong is wrong.
2006-12-15 06:13:17 · answer #5 · answered by LaReyna 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all, i'm sorry to be the only to furnish you this. even though it won't in any respect take place. the style you initiate is the style you end. The regulations of nature do no longer artwork that way. She does not love you the way which you're meant to be, and the sorrowful section is, which you don't be attentive to the way which you're meant to be enjoyed. Love does not placed you on carry. I had my drama with a married guy. I made countless existence-changing judgements according to this ill-fated dating and as a consequence, it resulted in heartbreak and disaster. somewhat, there is not any hell or intense water which will shop everybody from being with the guy who they love. they'll walk through hell with gas underclothes on - sacrifice jobs, profession, infants, money, relatives, recognition, each thing - in the event that they are somewhat in love with that guy or woman. If she does not love her husband, then what's battling her from leaving? What - the youngsters? a house? Bulls**t! None of those will make a marriage satisfied. Even your baby along with her isn't making her flow away. in fact, you will think of that it may make her subject hell, even though it did the right opposite. What does that inform you? Take your coronary heart back, sue her for joint custody of your baby and flow on without her. She does not LOVE YOU!!!!!
2016-12-11 09:45:47 · answer #6 · answered by hergenroeder 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your "history" with this person is illicit. It is not any more acceptable for you to be talking to him now that it was to have the affair with him. Sure your flattered and it make you feel good to know he may still care but it is going down the wrong road.
If your marriage is so bad that you need an affair to make it bearable then maybe you should divorce and go to be with this guy. Now how would that change your perspective?
Do not deceive yourself that this is okay. It never is and I divorced my first wife because of it. The internet is a great thing for us now but it is also a sirens song that will lead us where we don't want to go.
2006-12-15 06:11:31 · answer #7 · answered by John B 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Seriously, if you want things to work with your husband, you need to cut off the communication. There are no good intentions by maintaining a relationship with someone you may (no matter if you say NO WAY) see at some point.
I learned this the hard way, my now ex-wife found out about a woman I was "only" talking to, and it ended my marriage. Come to find out it wasn't near being worth it. The thrill of being sneaky goes away when there is nothing to be sneaky about. If you love your husband let it go.
2006-12-15 06:10:13 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This can lead to a problem. On one hand, you may just need the attention socially that u r getting from this friend. Yo u have to ask yourself however what your true motive is, friendship or getting loving attention/friendship from another male. It is not cheating unless you cross the line. If you are hiding this friendship, or feel you have to hide it, then maybe that is a signal that it is not 'innocent.' You are being unfaithful if you are getting emotionally attached to him in the way you should be attached to your husband. Try to limit your time with this person and be honest with yourself as to whether your conversations are innocent or could be construed as more by anyone looking on.
2006-12-15 06:09:57 · answer #9 · answered by althea0019 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband has to live with you daily with all the problems in life. This guy comes in and out whenever he wants it and was there for sex. Where was he when you were sick, needed help with stuff at home, paying for food and housing, and when the toilet was clogged. Your husband might not be as exciting as the next man you've never had but your husband has been there for you though the good and bad.
Tell this other guy to grow up and leave you alone.
2006-12-15 06:23:13 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if my husband had an affair and then started talking to the woman again (regardless of distance) I would be mad. I dont care if its internet or not. You should block him and be done with it. You are married to someone else and is it really worth losing everything you have and hurting 4 people?
2006-12-15 06:06:07 · answer #11 · answered by bonheur 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋