The telephone is killing a marriage!!!?

Question

Ok, I have been married for 2 years now. This has been an ongoing problem. My wife is always on the ohone with her friends and family. As soon as she gets home she goes in the bedroom, shuts the door and is MIA or about 3 to 4 hours. It is driving me crazy. The funny thing is when she's done talking, she asks me why I haven't been talking to her. I told her that she is always putting her friends first and me on the back burner. She doesn't seem to comprehend what I'm trying to tell her. I am so not happy with this relationship anymore. I don't want to leave her, but this has to stop. I don't know what to do. Talking doesn't seem to help. She says she's sorry and then it starts back up again. I feel like I'm alone in this thing. It's so bad that even when she's not on the phone I don't want to talk to her. I try not to be like that, but it's like a habit now. Now she's all down my throat about not talking to her. I just want to scream!!! Someone please give me a little insight. PLEASE!!

Answer 1

This may sound ignorant....but if I were you when she's on the phone I would take the phone and hang up on whoever she's talking too. Then be like honey I wanted to talk to you....That will send a message.

Answer 2

Divorce her while you can. You screwed up really royally. You probably knew her phone habits before you got married. You knew what you were getting into. How the hell did you think it was going to be?!?! After you get married, people change all of a sudden?!?!? I don't think so.

You should talk to her when she's on the phone. Take her phone away and hang it up for her and tell her "OK. You wanted to talk. Let's talk." It's perfectly OK for you to cut off her phone for her. Take charge. Be a man. When she's not on the phone, don't talk to her. When she picks up the phone again, take it away, cut it off for her, and start talking to her. It will drive her nuts.

You should really dump that biatch and move on, but if you want to save the marriage, you should be a complete a*sshole, and you should bring her self esteem down by quite a bit.

If you don't want to save the marriage, then get a divorce before it gets worse, and next time, pay attention to what the person does while you are dating her because that's a good indication of what she will be like as a wife times 10. She will become more insolent once you are married. Count on it.

Answer 3

Wow, that's a tough one. I think that you are going to have to seriously sit her down and talk this thing out. Tell her it's to the point where you feel like you aren't even in the relationship. If her friends and family is that more important to her than you and your marriage, that perhaps she'd be happier with them. Not giving her an ultimatum, just seriously telling her how you feel. You deserve to be happy and have attention too, and not talking to her only perpetuates the situation. If you can't get through to her then perhaps some marital counseling, if that doesn't work you may just have to leave her. I'm really sorry and I pray you can work it out.

Good luck.

Answer 4

Most woman like to talk about stuff, analyze it, talk about it, analyze it, talk about it, discuss all the ramifications, discuss the what if's and that's only about the first subject in a conversation. Most men like to spend five minutes on the bare facts, come up with a solution if needed and move on. So women usually need another woman to talk with, but it sounds like your woman is taking this to extremes. Discuss with her what a fair amount of time on the phone would be, or times when it seems fair, then when she's not on the phone, and you don't feel like talking, do something else, like play cards, go browse the book store, play tennis, find some other way to spend quality time together.

Answer 5

She must feel as though she is missing out on something while at work and needs to find out what. When she comes home and gets right on the phone, head out. Come back in a few hours and when she wants to know where you went or how come you left, be honest and tell her that she didn't miss you anyway she had more important people to talk to. She will get the hint.

Answer 6

It sounds like she is addicted to the phone. Maybe the seriousness of being married is getting to her or something. If it wasnt the phone, it would be something else she was using to avoid the problems instead of face them. Do you have kids? If you dont, then tell her this thing is a "deal breaker" and leave. She needs help or she will keep on using avoiding as a way of dealing with stress and that will sukk bigtime after you have kids. Lay down an ultimatum man. goodluck.

Answer 7

my brother does the same thing to his wife- calls my mom (he's in miami, she's in trinidad) and talks for hours almost everynight. his wife has obvious probs with it.

as she gets home from work, tell her you need to speak with her immediately. you can arrange it so that you cook dinner together or some other household chore, etc so you can both be occupied together.

what you can also do if that doesn't work is a bit of retaliation. when she's off the phone, you be too busy to give her time. be on the phone with a buddy, online, etc.

you are plainly being taken for granted and that is not fair so you may need to play the 'dirty' game.

hope it all works out amicably.

Answer 8

Dude I'm having similar problems. I haven't gone crazy yet, but Its getting close. I tried talking to my wife (just broke the 1 year mark), but it also seems like she just doesn't get it. All I can say is keep talking to her or find a hobby or something. Sorry I couldn't help out much because like I said I have similar problems.

Answer 9

Take all the phones and just save one in case you need to use it and tell her she can no longer use the phone until she get help or finds other ways to use her time when she is home

Answer 10

She is very selfish and takes your for granted. You really should re-evaluate why you are still there. Develop outside interests. Come home less often. She'll look up and see the big pcture.