I'm married for almost 20 years to what I thought was a wonderful man...now he says he loves me but he is not in love with me. He said he has his new house, new truck & great family but not happy. He says it has nothing to do with me? So now what? How long do I wait for him to make up his mind?
2006-12-15 05:39:21 · 16 answers · asked by indiana_debi 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
This happens to we guys when we hit our mid 40s. Please understand that he probably got that way due to decades of sacrificing the more spiritually fulfilling activities in life in order to be a good provider for his family. After a very long period of time running in the "rat race" we kind of tend to loose ourselves and forget exactly what it is to know exactly who you believe yourself to be and where you are going in life. Ironically (and almost cruelly) at this stage in life the physical changes in our aging bodies begin to become more noticeable and we begin thinking about our own mortality and asking what we have really accomplished in life and what we intend to do with what we have left. In other words, the age old question "is this all there is?". Place this against a background of our kids reaching the age where they don't really need you anymore and a wife who is beginning to show the symptoms of para-menopause and you can see why we have a crisis around this age.
How long does it last.
Well.... I'll let you know....
2006-12-15 05:50:54 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The midlife crises is a point in our lives when we realize that we haven't accomplished what we wanted to accomplish. We start looking around for new ways of finding meaning in our lives. My wife said that for me it was when I decided to give up a secure government position in order to go to law school. She was supportive, even though it was a financially difficult challenge. I am now working for government again but I could have retired by now if I had stayed where I was. Instead, I am probably 15 years away from retirement.
Oh well, lessons learned.
Try to be supportive and show him how much you love him. Try to talk to him about appreciating what he has as opposed to trying to start over.
2006-12-15 05:47:20 · answer #2 · answered by rac 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm 38 and kind of went thru one. It was really just stress and it lasted till I started running. Well actually running takes about a year to work fully, but that was the start of the healing.
He's just stressed or something.
2006-12-15 05:42:59 · answer #3 · answered by Put_ya_mitts_up 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well...I'm on my third mid-life crisis. ;o) If you want to stick around...make sure the issues are resolved...because speaking from experience...they will keep cropping up.
Good luck and make sure you keep talking about it...and not confrontationally either...he's feeling a little unsure...so hammering him with "Make or Break" questions will only result in making it an unbearable situation...
BTW...I don't think he is lying when he says it has nothing to do with you...I love my wife like there is no tomorrow but I still feel like a caged animal sometimes...
2006-12-15 06:04:53 · answer #4 · answered by I'm Gumby Damnit! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it isnt a mid life crisis,, he is just unhappy with himself, go to a motel for the weekend, spice stuff up,, 20 years of marriage things tend to get monotanous, you have nothing to talk about and go through the motions,
join a gym,, do stuff for you,, he will quit his whining,,
2006-12-15 05:50:31 · answer #5 · answered by rich2481 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give him the most freakiest sex you could possibly imagine in some wild spots!!
Life is good, but the sex should be exceptional which would make life exceptionally great!
2006-12-15 05:43:53 · answer #6 · answered by scott in minnesota 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask him if he is cheating. Most people that say "I love you but I'm not in love with you" are either involved with someone else or looking for a way out. You need to find out what is wrong. Go see a counselor together.
2006-12-15 05:41:58 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
I think Mid Life Crisis just means that half way through life, they come to realize that they never have and never will mature.
2006-12-15 05:41:53 · answer #8 · answered by MsFancy 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I am going through it and I bought a motorcycle. I love women.
2006-12-15 05:50:00 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Milk Money sounds right~
2006-12-15 05:43:57 · answer #10 · answered by YO~NO~FUI E 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋