I think me and my husband are going to get a divorce after everything thats happened. i don't think that is what i want. i'm not even convinced it is really what he wants either but it looks like it's going to happen. so i'm trying to figure out why i'm crying. i mean not just angry tears but they hurt while they are welling up..i mean literally i am aching right now...does that mean anything? i never felt this kind of pain before and i don't know if maybe it my body telling me don't do it...just back down and apologize and admit i'm wrong which is not who i normally am. i almost never admit i'm wrong but i don't know why i am hurting so bad. is it because maybe the reality of us splitting up is setting in? please give me and advice you feel...
2006-12-15 05:29:59 · 20 answers · asked by guess 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Have you tried counseling? Nobody is ever right all the time and maybe that is part of your problem. I don't know the whole story but if you feel like there is a way of saving your marriage then you should give it a try.
2006-12-15 05:34:59 · answer #1 · answered by Shel 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Crying like that means you have been through
some great emotional pain. The pain may last
long after the crying has stopped.
It takes two to have a fight so bad,
that you get locked out of the house for days.
Don't look at it as if you are backing down
and having to apologize.
You are working your way back in,
so you can talk and find out what the problems
are all about, and how you might fix them.
Don't be willing to think failure so easily.
It takes two to break it and two to make it.
If trying to put things back together,
just starts a fight, get someone to be
the middle man. Counseling!!
Marriage is very hard. So don't beat yourself up.
You are not the only one in this boat. Honestly!!
2006-12-15 13:49:03 · answer #2 · answered by J B W 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, maybe you should not be rushing into anything as permanent as a divorce. See if there is anything the two of you can do to salvage what is left. Divorce is not something one should do in the heat of anger. And sometimes getting to this point makes one realize in the face of loosing the one they love just how much one means to them. I think many times couples become very complacement with each other and take each other for granted. You know sometimes it really doesn't matter who is wrong or right. So, if it takes you apologizing to get the communication started. Then swallow your pride and do it. What have you got to loose? And you may gain your relationship back. Remember what made the two of you fall in love in the first place. Good luck and God bless****
2006-12-15 13:34:56 · answer #3 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
when we are faced with a divorce and the end of our marriage, even if there were tough times, even if we didn't always get along, it is sad, because we all hate to fail, and give up on something that once meant the world to us. divorce is the final thing and the union and connection will be gone forever. yes u never expected it to go this far, u expected something or someone to change their mind, and give it more time, more time to be the person u really are. don't do it, if u are feeling like this, get counseling, try harder, stop arguing over the small stuff. when we are faced with the finality of it, and realize it is for real it is frightening, as we do fear the future, we fear loosing what we loved, we cry because we still have hope, and dreams. when faced with a loss like this we realize how much we really love that person.
2006-12-15 13:51:10 · answer #4 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your hurt is only the beginning. Lots of people would rather have an arm
amputated then admit wrong doing. If love means never having to say I'm
sorry, then you better be ready to live out your life alone. We are not perfect, We do make mistakes and sometimes make the same mistakes
again, Asking a judge for mercy, saying I'm sorry, is all to easy some people
say, but it depends on the crime. You guys are married does that stand for
anything? pick your battles. You win some and loose some. That's the name
of the game. You are not ready to loose your husband right now so loose
the fight, Apologize, you will feel better.
2006-12-15 13:48:09 · answer #5 · answered by themeathanger 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Crying means letting go, getting over everything and feeling free afterwards.We are all scared of ending things and start over,of coming to an empty house when you are used to see someone there even if things arent going so well.Give yourself time, give yourself space and freedom.Give yourself the chanse to find yourself again.Then you will know if you really want him back.For the moment go away for a week-end and dont tell anyone where you are, close your phone, buy a bottle of wine and sit in a chair and just enjoy the view.Take a deep breath and try to smile even if you dont feel like it.It will turn out just fine.It always does..So as a piece of advice,clear your mind!
2006-12-15 13:38:57 · answer #6 · answered by Zbenguici 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I believe it means the love you have for him is deep. Does it mean you need to stay together? only you two can decide that. You will never fall out of love with each other though and will always care for each other whether you decide to stay together or not. Maybe its time to admit that maybe you both might be wrong and discuss and communicate how you both are feeling right now and lay it all on the table. Good luck!
2006-12-15 13:34:16 · answer #7 · answered by sweetlaughter434 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, my eyes are filled with tears just reading this...I can really almost feel your pain.
Pride comes before the fall....If you have done something wrong...stop now, drop your pride, and apologize, for whatever it is. You say this is not who you really are....perhaps it really is, and you've just been masking it behind your pride.....
I can not guranetee you that he will change his mind, but if you really let the opportunity slip by without saying it, you will wonder the rest of your life. You are hurting because divorce is painful... You get off the computer and get to him the first opportunity you can. Tell him you are sorry, and tell him you do not want a divorce, and tell him you love him and you want to work out your problems.
If you two can work out your problems, please do, but make a commitment to yourself that YOU will continue to work on your problems....you obviously love this man and don't want a divorce. I don't know if you believe in God, but I am going to pray for you anyway....I hope that's all right.... Go!
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I read some of your other questions...I spent my career in the USAF, also had top secret SCI.... Don't let this ruin you or your career....military life puts an extra strain on your married life....keep your business to yourself tho', you're personal life needs to stay out of AF life....you know how people are!!! I tried to e-mail you but you don't take e-mail under this profile. You may e-mail me if you need someone to talk to that understands your way of life and has been in your situation before.
2006-12-15 13:37:54 · answer #8 · answered by favrd1 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
First, its hard to say without knowing the details of the trife. How long have you been together? How long have you been having troubles and what is the issue? Do you think both of you would agree to some counseling? If its worth saving, you should try your hardest. Marriage takes two, and it also takes work. Its certainly not easy, thats why there are so many divorces today.
2006-12-15 13:34:39 · answer #9 · answered by *Daisey 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there are many ways you can do:
1-if you don't like to apologies, this is the time you have to do, go down 2 steps of your ego and do it (white ling to yourself).
2-maybe is time for you to move on..it is hard,hurts,you have to let it go.. crying some times help.
3- don't hold inside. let it out.seek for a professional help, that's help too.
4- what you're feeling is normal, you are not being different then any one.
5-we have to lose in one way or the other.this is part of growing stronger.
6- some times life can be much worst. and count your blessings that will make you feel stronger.
2006-12-15 13:47:16 · answer #10 · answered by nina 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋