Last week, while my best friend and I were talking in my bedroom, she told me she might have fellings for women. I'm wierdly religiouse and having a friend who's a lesbian isn't at the top of my to do list. I'm freaked out and don't know what to tell her. HELP!!
2006-12-15 05:24:57 · 39 answers · asked by Korey R 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Nothing.
It's her choice - there's nothing for you to do.
Either you can be friends with her or can't.
If you can't it'd be silly, because it's not like she's a different person than before.
2006-12-15 05:27:49 · answer #1 · answered by Much too tired. 3 · 8⤊ 2⤋
First problem right there! SHE IS THE SAME PERSON!!! She trusted you enough to confided in you and it was probably not easy for her. You will only make her feel worse by telling her "well Jesus says gays are bad".
The Bible was altered by the Romans thousands of years ago!!! There is absolutely no way to know for sure what was ever really said in there. The Romans changed the Bible and used the Bible as a tool to mold their society. Obviouslly they didn't like gays or women very much!
Being "wierdly religous" I bet you already know then that you as a female, are not allowed to speak at church. If you have any kind of questions you are suppose to wait till you leave and ask at home (1 Cor.14). Or how bout in Ex. 31:15 where it says that if you work on the Sabbath you are to be stoned to death by everyone in your town, does that make you reconsider working the weekend to make some extra Christmas cash?
Do those passages sound like a loving God? Feel free to check them in your Bible. I took years of Bible study I know what it all says, you're also not allowed to eat lobsters, pigs, crabs, clams, or shrimp and some other stuff that's in Lev.
Honestly, what she needs is support and her best friend. She doesn't need someone who cares more about what a book says that another human beings feelings. If you tell her she's evil how do you think that'd make her feel? Do you REALLY think she's evil? If you did, she wouldn't be your friend. So remember that... she is your friend. Remember that only God will judge, it's not up to us little humans to decide who is good or bad. Just don't go and try to "save" her because even if you don't believe me about the Bible being changed than you know that every sin will send you to hell. Going to work on Sabbath is worse than being gay occoring to the 10 Commandments!!!
**As for Who K and her "she may do it to you" comment, what would she do? You can't give someone "gay" lol... it's not like herpes!!!**
2006-12-15 05:53:36 · answer #2 · answered by IceyFlame 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All I can say is that it is really ashamed that you have to ask for advice on an open forum in order to figure out if you can support your friend. By wierdly religious can we assume you mean you are a Christian? If so you maight want to read what Christ said about caring for and loving people. That will take you a while because he said much. Now read his comments and teachings on homosexuality. It'll be quick because he mentioned that not one single time.
Most of the Christian beliefs on this subject come from the Old Tesetement or from Paul (who constantly preaches his old testement teaching). If you look at the laws provided in Leviticus and other OT books you will see homosexuality expressly forbidden, the same books also mandate death for wearing clothing made from two different types of thread (ever wear blends), death for growing more than one crop in the same field, and tell you how you should go about selling your daughter into slavery. Funny how so many 'wierdly religious' folks have this problem with homosexuality but rarely get equally upset at the site of the poor and homeless. Christ did have a bit to say on those topics.
You ask for advice to decide what to do concerning this person who is your friend. Well, my advice is to get away by yourself for a bit and decide if you are really her friend. If you decide you are the next step is to start being that friend to her.
2006-12-15 05:38:47 · answer #3 · answered by toff 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes... you are very weirdly religiouse is the correct answer... how the hell you gon' say that being a friend wit ' a lesbian is so not on yo' to do list?... and most of all... why the F#@$ are you freaked out about it anyway? I mean, it's not like she jus' told you dat she's in love wit' you or somethin... dayem... already, your dayem subject jus' got me irritated...
So what if she jus' came straight out and tell you dat she's a lesbian... what is there to do... let her do and make her own decisions... and especially... it is so "NOT YOUR SPOT" to "Judge"... Never judge a book by it's cover...
If she is, all you have to do, is support her... and be her "Friend"... dat's all... your such a dumb @$$... it's not like she's coming up to you and shoving her pussy in yo' face... dayem... lol...
But other then that... jus' be her friend.. is all that matters.. you weirdo...
2006-12-15 08:46:20 · answer #4 · answered by MINA 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"So you just found out your best friends is a lesbian..." a book by ...(kidding).
My advice... DO NOTHING.
Don't treat her any differently from before you knew.
She has probably had this bottled up inside and just wanted you to know... you ARE her best friend.
You don't have to AGREE with her beliefs, you just have to RESPECT them.
Unless she opens up those lines of communication for your input, don't lecture her. I know sometimes religion (Christian Religion) does not condone this kind of "behavior" but we are not in the position to judge; nor tell her what to do. Besides, it doesn’t mean God loves her any less.
SO have an open mind and have an open heart and you'll find that not a lot will change just because your friend has "come out of the closet."
“We don't want to be labeled, because being gay or black or a rapper or a redneck or alternative has only separated us, and those are labels previous generations have come up with, not us. We need to embrace our differences, not focus on them.”
.pEace.
2006-12-15 05:34:59 · answer #5 · answered by ...Tell Me 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Believe it or not, I understand your feelings of shock. When my best friend came out to me, I was floored. We'd been friends for years and I never would have guessed. Don't do what I did and back off talking. They're going through an emotional time admitting that. Just be there to listen, don't preach or try to instill your beliefs in her. She's still your friend, just not in the same direction as you. There may be a difference now, but she's the same friend you've always had.
2006-12-15 05:33:46 · answer #6 · answered by chefgrille 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
My sister is in the military and I have some issues with the US military. We just avoid talking about stuff that would cause an argument and talk about other things. While honesty is important in any relationship, avoiding constant arguments is usually helpful too. Also, you don't have to have the same beliefs to be friends. I work in a very diverse workplace and I get along with my coworkers, even though many of them Just continue to be her friend and don't preach to each other and you should still be able to maintain your friendship.
2006-12-15 05:45:37 · answer #7 · answered by carora13 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In my religion, we would support her for her honesty. Now here is something for you to think about. Actually 2 things. Since it is agreed that homosexuality is inherrent at birth, isn't God that invented it? And there are many examples of homosexuality in the animal kingdom.
And this : it is very rare for an individual to be completely homosexual or completely heterosexual. Most people are somewhere in the middle.
Are you possibly afraid of your own sexual feelings for women? If you are a friend, you will support her honoesty and learn from it. And practice a little of it yourself. It actually makes your life happier.
2006-12-15 05:30:56 · answer #8 · answered by Greanwitch 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
if she is your "best friend" then you will still be her friend and accept and support her. having a friend who's a lesbian isn't at the top of your "to do list." what does that mean? yes, I guess you are "weirdly religious" if you turn your back on your best friend. if that's how you truly feel about her, then you don't deserve her as a friend! and that's really sad....
2006-12-15 07:35:55 · answer #9 · answered by redcatt63 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She hasn't changed at all. Be complimented that she chose to tell you her real feelings. She's still your friend. The question really is --are you still her's? I hope so. You have no valid reason for rejecting her. Since when has the truth been so wrong in a friendship?
2006-12-15 06:25:55 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just treat her the way you did before you knew this. She's still your friend and just because her sexual orientation is different than yours, makes her no less of a person. You may not agree with it but who are you to judge her on it? Just tell your friend what you feel. You can tell her that even though you may not agree with her desicion, you will still be her friend. Let her know that it is a shock and will take some time getting used to. Please just don't give up on her! She came to you and told you this more than likely because she knew she could trust you.
2006-12-15 05:32:57 · answer #11 · answered by kerrberr95 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋