How soon after having your first baby did you start trying?

Question

for the 2nd baby? What's the age gap between the 2? How did you cope? Was it the right decision to have the 2 so close or far apart? How did you cope with the 2nd pregnancy running around the first baby? Just your experiences in general would be very much appreciated. My boy is 7 months and I think I may like another baby at some stage, but unsure of the 'timing'. I am 30 next year. Thank you all.

Answer 1

Health wise, the recommended timing between pregnancies (not babies!) is 18 months. This gives your body a chance to fully recuperate after the last pregnancy and birth, especially if you've breastfed which will put further strain on your system.

I had my children 2 1/2 years apart, getting pregnant just before my son's 2nd birthday, which on paper seemed like a really good move - my son was walking and talking so I felt like I could cope with the idea of a newborn again. However what I hadn't bargained on was that he was *right* in the middle of the terrible twos when my daughter popped out, and wow were they terrible. I remember him having this mega tantrum in Sainsbury's when I was close to 9 months pregnant, lying on the floor and kicking his heels and I was so big and my back hurt and I couldn't bend down and make him get up.... LOL it seems funny now but at the time I was crying.

Obviously, there is no particular right or wrong gap, different gaps have different advantages. Close together means two sets of nappies and a pushchair that can take two, but sometimes it's harder to face going back to all that if you wait until your first child is more independent. Theoretically they may have more in common if they're closer together, but you can never predict a child's temprament, and in fact school age children often love to have a baby in the family, whereas toddlers are just jealous and unreasonable when their sibling comes along.

Age wise you have a few years before you really have to start worrying about your fertility.

Why not make a list of the pros and cons of trying next year or waiting for another year or two? Writing out the positives and negatives of each option can be really helpful in clarifying big decisions like this.

Answer 2

I didn't have my 2nd child unitl 5 years after my first. This way I had alone time with the 2nd, while my oldest was starting school. Everything worked out great and my oldest really feels like a big sister. I am currently 4 1/2 months pregnant with my 3rd child, giving a gap of 22 months between my 2nd and 3rd. I am not sure how well it will work, and my 2nd isn't going to like momma taking care of another baby and not spending all the time with her.

Answer 3

We are currently trying to conceive right now. My daughter is almost 16 months old and it just felt like the right time. We wanted to try to have our kids close together (preferably 2 years apart because that is what my husband's family is, and they have an awesome relationship) so now just seems like a good time. Plus they will both be little enough to enjoy a lot of the same things. I'm sure it will be extremely difficult for probably the first 6+ months after the 2nd one is born, but everyone I know swears it is so much easier having them close together once they get a bit older because they constantly entertain each other. Just do whatever you feel is right and good luck!

Answer 4

omg, everyone on here had babies so close together, not saying its bad but i could have never done it. my son is 7 years old and i am 14 weeks pregnant with my second. i waited so long so i could enjoy my son being a baby b4 i had another, and i also didn't want to have 2 in car seats or diapers at the same time. my son is a big boy now and in the first grade and it will be much easier like this for me because he can get things like a drink or a snack out of the cabinet for himself, he can get himself dressed and tell me what he wants or needs so it will be much easier to take care of a baby than it would be if i had 2 little babies needing my me all of the time

Answer 5

Hey, I got pregnant when my daughter was about 4 months. She'll be a year next week (Christmas Eve) and my baby is due first week in March. Anyway, I have had a bit of a hard time being pregnant and still having to carry my daughter, I can't wait until she's walking, which looks like it will be soon. It's very exhausting for me, but it will be easier on me as they get older. I want to have all of my kids before I'm 30. I'll be 27 near my baby's due date. Next time around I'm going to wait until the new baby is already walking and doing for himself becuase it's hard having to carry another child while carrying one in your belly too, plus diaper bags etc. Good luck.

Answer 6

23 months between mine and this is a great age gap. Oldest was old enough to get excited about the new baby and she was never jealous. She had started to become a bit more independant which really helped. Friend of mine had 14 months between hers and she really struggled. the eldest still demanded her attention all the time and got really jealous of the new baby. I think she missed out on time with her eldest as he had only just started to walk and she didn't have the time to spend with him because she was busy with the new baby.
Maybe I was just lucky but my eldest was happy to play herself while I was feeding or we'd sit and watch tv or read a book.
They also get on fantastically now - they are 3 and 5.

Answer 7

Whenever you feel ready too, your the one that's got to cope with them! I personnally couldn't even contemplate having 2 close together. I've got 7 years between mine and it's brilliant! My eldest boy is wonderful with his little sister and he love's her to bit's. He loves helping and getting involved and is old enough to understand that he can't always get my undivided attention anymore and is fine with it. If i need to do anything like pop into the kitchen to get the dinner on, he is more than happy to play with her for 10 mins while I do this. nd in the mornings, he'll watch her while I take a shower.
A friend of mine had 2 years between her two kids and the eldest, who is a boy, absolutly hates his little sister and has done since the day his mom brought her home. They fight all the time and he will not share or play with her! My friend wouldn't dare leave her two together to take a shower, the little lads been know to punch and slap his sister before now and that's only when she's turned her back for a second and believe you me, this is NOT a case of how she's brought them up, she is a fantastic mom, i would even go as far as calling her perfect!
There are 2 years between me and my sisters and none of us got on either as we we're growing up!

Answer 8

We started trying when our son was 10mths old...I wanted a 2yr or less age gap between the kids. Unfortunatly I struggled with infertility and miscarriages for close to 3yrs...so now we have a 4yr age gap between our children. Which I am very thankful for...I love having my son potty trained, in preschool and independent with a newborn around. Looking back, I dont think I could have handled a demanding 2yr old and a newborn.

Answer 9

I started trying when my first was 5 months old, it took me a year to conceive, I'm 7 weeks now and it is pretty hard trying to take care of my daughter ( who is 18 months old now ) When the baby is born she will be 2 yrs. 2 months.I am so tired.....She is heavy now and she wants to be picked up all the time and it kills my back. But every family is different and whenever you feel you are ready for another ( financially and emotionally) then go for it. It is all up to you.....Good luck!

Answer 10

I did all my kids 3 years apart worked great...by the time the one was born the other was turning 3 and more indepent didn't need feed, was potty trained, could walk in stores, could get in their car seats and buckle themselves in could for ask for things ect... and being 8-10 months pregnate with an almost 3 yr old was better too Plus they are all somw what close in age and not to far apart