How do I break it to her?

Question

My insecure friend who is very indecisive at times wants me to move into her condo (that her mom owns). I'll be having my own room/restroom and she will have her own as well. The thing is, she's very wishy washy in the things she says sometimes...sometimes I feel like she's not telling me the full story. One minute, she says her mom's thinking about selling the place, then one minute she says its just her that wants her mom to sell the place because the bills are too high/burdensome, then says if that should happen we can find a place together??? All the girls I hang out w/ at school are pressuring me to move in w/ her.... how do I break it to her that I want to just find my own place. Should I just be honest w/ her about her wishy washiness? Mind you, we have become friends and she's so sweet.

Answer 1

maybe you just tell her you are looking for a more secure home, you don't want to move any more times that you have to.

Answer 2

I don't know what her being insecure has to do with anything, that's personal and business is business. Now, from a business aspect, no, I wouldn't move in with her. She doesn't seem to secure in what the final outcome of the condo is, you could move in one month and then the next be told you have to move out because her mom has found a buyer. That's a lot of hassle. Liking her or not liking her has nothing to do with making a sound financial and life changing decision...yes, you can just find another place to move, but why should you go into the situation when it's already quite unstable?

As for telling her, you are adults, just tell her. If she doesn't understand your decision, so be it. If you are truly friends, that won't sever the friendship, and if it does, good. At least you know now where you stand before you make a huge mistake and pay for it later.

Good luck.

Answer 3

You don't even have to tell her about her wishy washiness at this time. Just explain that you prefer to live by yourself right now...but that doesn't mean to go and find another roomate. If that's the case then just tell her you don't think it would be a good idea for the both of you to live together.

Answer 4

just let her know that you would rather get a place of your own. You can not go wrong with honesty, the person may not want to her it at the time, its better to find out from you than from someone else. Remember its all in your delivery that i believe will make the difference. being friends means more than just hanging out and sharing secrets, it also means if you can agree to disagree. good luck and do what you feel is best for you

Answer 5

tell her

"I'm very grateful that you offered the room to me, but i want to find my own place to make it feel like my own home. The offer is great but i want to know everythigns in place and is ready for me to move in."

or somethign along those lines ...you kinda tell her she's wishy washy and you dont like that sort of thing althougth shes a very dear friend to you .. anyways hope everythign works out for oyu and hope my advice helped you out some

Answer 6

never tell people what you think of them, especially if it's bad! she'll never trust you as a friend anymore, provided you want to remain friends. she'll always suspect you, and resent you for telling her off. you can't tell someone she's 'wishy washy', or that you think she's 'wishy washy' and expect to stay friends. if you want to stay friends b/c she's 'so sweet' as you say, then be happy she's sweet (at least) and don't gripe about the negatives. however, you don't have to move in w/ someone you can't totally trust yourself. you can't share anything important, like finances or living arrangements w/ people like that. it would be unfair to you and if you ask me, uncomfortable / stressful. so, in answer to your question, don't 'break' anything to her, per se. if you'd prefer to live alone, just tell her that you like living alone, and don't bother giving her reasons why. if she presses you, just smile and stick to your story, repeat it like a broken record, 'i simply prefer living on my own. gives me a sense of independence. that's all.' and smile!!! no matter how she gets on your nerves!!! be cordial!!! thank her for the opportunity to live in her mother's condo w/ her, but again, smile!!! and tell her you like feeling independent and living on your own!!! good luck!

Answer 7

just be honest with her. and tell her you need to find your opwn way for a while. that living alone will give you the opportunity to learn to be independant. that you are looking forward to having grown up dinner parties where she can come and bring her boyfriend...

don't tell her she is wishy washy. tell her that there are times when you feel unsure about what her message is. never tell somenthing is wrong with them, tell them what you are feeling when that behaviour is expressed to you. be kind.

Answer 8

The most important thing is to be honest to yourself. Tell her that you want to find your own place, reasons shouldn't be necessary. Pressure from your friends at school is just that pressure. Be as honest to her as you would her to be with you. True friendship pulls through.

Answer 9

She sound too unreliable and not responsible enough to be a good roommate. I would be honest and just find my own place. Otherwise you might be paying a higher price by losing a friend and a place to live later on.

Answer 10

i'd tell her the truth but leave out the wishy washy part. just tell her that you really wanna be on your own when you finally move out

Answer 11

I would thank her for the offer, but tell her that you really want to have a place of your own. But leave the option open that if you can't find somewhere else that you would consider moving in with her.