what would you do if you found out someone was cheating on you ???

Question

I have been married for the last 9 years and i found out my husband had been cheating on me. I am so pissed off and hurt. He wants to make it right. Iike i believe that. I am having such a hard time with this. My step-son got to know the other women also
i told him that he needs to go be with her and he refuses. This is the worst betrayl that anyone could do to a woman. I don't have a place to go. we are going to counsler. he is being so nice but i just cant seem to feel anything. as far as i know the other woman is not around anymore. but i cant seem to shake that she is any answers please give feed back greatly messed up..

Answer 1

what would i do---that was the ???

DUMP HIS ***---and this is exactly what I did do--happily divorced for 3 years now

Answer 2

If you just found out, being angry and hurt is a normal reaction. And so is feeling numb and isolated. Our minds have a bunch of power and this is one way for you to cope with the news. So, it is OK if you are unable to feel anything emotionally positive right now. You are in shock and your mind is giving you time. You are feeling betrayed and betrayal is not an easy thing to manage. My advice is...wait until you have gotten over the initial shock before you make any permanent decisions. Any decision you try to make right now will be colored with emotion and distrust and when you are deciding what to do about a 9 year marriage, you want clear thinking.

Once you are able to see where you want the marriage to go, start talking and listening. Discover why he felt the need to do this - it may not be what you think. Or it may be. Either way, you and your partner need to be honest and open to get through this as wholly as possible. (This is true even if you decide to call it quits.) It is possible to come back from this, but it is hard and both partners must really work to achieve it.

Most of all, try to believe that YOU DID NOTHING WRONG. Even if you are the biggest witch on the planet, you are a married witch and those vows should tell you that your partner was wrong. He strayed, you didn't. Whatever you decide, good luck on your journey. And God bless.

Answer 3

Well I know what you are going through, I know you feel angry and betrayed and embarrassed. But all those feelings will subside until you think about what he done. Then they resurface and you get angry again. Well you have to decide if you will get over this and try not to think about it alot. But your marriage will never be the same and you will always suspect your husband will do it again and he probably will. I am not going to tell you he is a dog and you need to leave him because I don't know the situation. But you need to ask yourself if you want to experience this feeling for the next few years every time you think about it. I still get angry when i watch a movie that has cheating in it, I just remember how it made me feel. Needless to say I have since left my husband because I think it causes a wedge in your relationship when a partner is unfaithful and some just cant get over it and move on like it didn't happen.

Answer 4

I would leave. Even if I didn't have anywhere to go. I'm sure that you could find somewhere to go even if it is temp. If you work then, find a hotel to stay at for a few days or a friends house, then find an apartment. I would not stay with someone who cheated. If he did it once, he will do it again. That must be hard on the child too. Getting to know another woman and keeping it a secret from you. I would leave. Good Luck.

Answer 5

Of course you feel betrayed --- hon, you WERE betrayed!!!!! and betrayal is THE dealbuster in marriage.... a quick lesson in marriage --- Marriage is respect, admiration, passion and trust. When the trust goes, the rest of it either erodes slowly, or simply blows up in your face. Assuming that you both wish to save this marriage, realize that you will need to stay in counseling, and it will be two years of really hard work before the trust will return----two years, hon, and that is no guarantee. It is easier to unscramble and egg than to get over betrayal. It is not hopeless, you can do other things with a scrambled egg, but your relationship is changed forever, not necessarly for the worse, but for sure changed.... The worst betrayal? Oh, yes, hon, absolutely... and always in the back of your mind will be "Once a cheater....." so get used to it. If you both wish to save your mariage, your only hope IS counseling... Good luck, sweetie

Answer 6

An affair can make or break a relationship. You are the best judge in terms of what you shoud do. However be careful only you know the way you husband thinks, stop listening to everyone and listen to your heart. Maybe he deserves another chance pray on it before you go to bed trust me god will help you decide. It will hurt for a long time the pain will only go away if you decide to trust him again. Good luck

Answer 7

Well if you are going to counseling, that tells me that you are willing to work on the relationship. However, counseling is not going to fix the issue. if you are unable to get past this, that is what it is. I personally, would not be able to get past the betrayal, expecially since the child was involved in the relationship. This is really the ultimate betrayal. I would have been gone the minute I found out what had happened. It is going to take a great deal of work and time for you to get past this, and you may never feel comfortable and loving or trusting toward him again. Good luck to you and God bless****

Answer 8

What he did was horrible. Most people would say dump him, I say do you love him? If it is his first and only time maybe he is worth a second chance. If you hate him for it and have no feelings toward him than do what you need to do to be happy. Whatever decision you make will not be easy. Could you ever forgive him? Could you ever trust him again. If any of the answers are no than maybe you need to leave him-Good luck and I hope all works out well

Answer 9

Continue couples counseling and also go to individual counseling to deal with your anger. You have every right to be angry. Think long and hard about forgiveness (and if he even deserves forgiveness), if it's something you cannot do you need to consult a divorce attorney. Make sure that woman is not around anymore. I'm sorry this happened to you. Just know that your husband was very selfish and its not your fault.

Answer 10

When I found out that my ex husband was cheating on me I set the timer on the microwave for 3 minutes told him to get what he could in that time and get out of the house!! I have not looked back nor do I regret kicking his cheating *** out!! I only wish I had given him less time. I had to think of the best thing for me and our children and keeping his lying, cheating *** around was not the best thing for any of us. I have now been divorced for a few years and a lot better off without him around!

Answer 11

I don't care how long I was with him. If I can't trust him the whole foundation for the relationship is gone.
Dump him sweetheart. Even if he says he stopped will you ever really be able to trust him again? Will you spend all of your time worrying, driving yourself crazy?
Divorce him. He would be a horrible role model for children and I fear for his son's future.

I have been cheated on. It was one of the most hurtful things that happened to me. I felt much better after I dumped him and threw everything that he ever gave to me in the trash.