Should I feel bad for cheating?

Question

I have been married for 13 years. She is a wonderful person and we get along fine. Our sex life has never been good, she doesn't like it at all. We've tried everything, therapy, etc. She just doesn't like it and doesn't want to have sex ever. We have 2 great kids and she even wants to have another one (which I obviously refuse to have). The big problem is that obviously I don't get turned on by her anymore and I want to have some good sex. Its been 13 years!! What should I do?

Answer 1

Dude, you two are not on the same page in any way. Get a divorce! You have no right to keep her from having another child if she wants one! But you also deserve to be happy, so why stay together?

Answer 2

Instead of nagging her, try "wooing" her. Flowers, candy, "dates" away from the kids, etc. Spend some time making her feel special and don't nag about YOUR needs. Some women don't like sex because their men make it seem mechanical and a duty, instead of romantic, loving and healthy. They get right to business and don't spend any time in "setting the stage" for a satisfying time for their wife. Who WOULD like that? So, I think you should look to yourself and your attitude. If you can't fix it that way, then maybe a doctor can give her some hormones to help her enjoy more. But the romance must be there. It is essential for most women. If you cheat, you will know you have broken your marriage vows and been dishonest. You have set a horrible example for your children about what it means to be faithful to someone and keep your promises. You should be hounded by guilt for not working on your marriage more, instead of cheating. And, if you catch an STD, you will deserve it. Go back to therapy if you must, but this is not all about your wife. Its 50% you.

Answer 3

If sex means that much to you then you need to speak to her about it and go from there. Does she have an orgasm? If not, she needs to get into some sex toys or you need to do something different to get her to orgasm. She might change her view after that. If that is not the problem, you have to figure out if cheating is worth the consequences (divorce). I could not cheat, but then again I see it all the time. It is what you can live with, I guess. Good luck!

Answer 4

Buddy, that is a tough one, and I feel for ya. As much as i am against infideltiy, I don't blame a man or a women for lookiing for sex outside the marriage when there not getting any. The best thing to do is get a divorce, which really sucks because of the effect it will have on your children. Your right by not wanting any more kids, and she is selfish to want more and yet not want tto have sex with you.

Answer 5

O.k so i know how you feel i can barely go a week without any,but if you have been with this women for 13 years and yall have a great family then you need to find a new way to satisfy your sex drive.DONT CHEAT!!!Find another way just do not cheat that is the worse thing you can do.Watch videos and satisfy yourself just dont cheat b/c she doesnt deserve it! GOOD LUCK!!

Answer 6

You both have fallen out of love with one another.And no longer respect each other. What happened? Did you have an affair? Is she having an affair? Sounds like your marriage is over. Sorry to hear. You still love each other to stay together. Matter of
convenience? Wow. You guys need to talk. Make a decision that will make you both happy. ? That the kids can be happy with to. You can have sex with anyone. But are you willing to be alone? Is she ready to be alone with the kids? Only you and her know. Your question should you feel bad? I don't know. Tell me. Should you?

Answer 7

You definitely should not cheat! Right now your sex life is a problem. If you cheat there will many more problems (that won't be able to heal). I think maybe you should try the romantic approach or maybe try getting her excited about sex without being obvious that you want sex, like try making her dinner without the children. I'm sure if you want to fix the sexual problem between you two, you can. 13 years, you know what she needs to be in that mind frame...or you should anyway, or is this just your excuse to cheat?

Answer 8

I think you should really have a heart to heart conversation with her. Tell her the things that you want sexually. let her know that you are not satisfied. If you love her, the last thing you should do is cheat on her...If you really want to make things work out... let her know how you feel and try to come to some kind of agreement of how you both can satisfy each other... try to show her some things...(porn, make her wear sexy lingerie,etc) and try to teach her how to turn you on again.... you might feel uncomfortable talking to her about it, but it will be the only way to get it out in the open instead of holding it all inside.

first what you need to do is identify what is it that will turn you on (more affection, her walking around naked, lingerie, blow jobs, etc) then let her know and try it out

try to make a romantic setting (candle light dinners, flowers, rose petals eveywhere) and see what happens with that.

maybe you should ask her if she even likes sex at all, ask her how can you make the sex better for the both of you.. try new techniques.. get sex toys, watch porn together... go down on her (if she'll let you) ask her if she would go down on you.....

try some role playing (your the patient, she's the nurse) (your the cop she is the suspect) try new and different things to try to spice up the sex life.. eat exotic fruits, (strawberries, watermelon,etc) and get some candles and make the wax hot and pour it over her body ... get some hot fuge and drip it down her back.... these are the thing that me and my boyfriend does... trust me... he loves it! just try something new and see what happens.

if you want more info, just let me know... I am kind of like a sex therapist..... just let me know and I will tell you more

but if you feel bad about it, you should get a divorce.. because once you dont desire your wife anymore, what is the point for leading her on?

Answer 9

You should feel bad for cheating because no matter what the circumstances is it's wrong. I feel bad for your wife. If your not happy in your marriage you should consider leaving her but why doesn't she turn you on anymore? What you did was wrong and you should really consider changing your ways. I am so against cheating no matter what the situation is. I would never cheat on my husband and he'd never cheat on me. If we were not happy with each other then we won't be together. You see sex shouldn't be what a marriage is about. Who cares if you don't have sex anymore. Are you with her just for that? If you are then your a sick man. Marriage isn't about sex it's about loving that person and them loving you back. You need to find out why she doesn't turn your on anymore. You should really think about this and stop cheating on her because cheating doesn't do you a bit of good it just makes you look bad and it really hurts. You need to really find out why you feel this way and if you don't want to be with her anymore and she doesn't turn you on anymore you need to consider leaving her.

Answer 10

You obviously don't love your wife enough to remain faithful to her, which in turn, does make you a dog. Do her a favor and file for a divorce. If you cant accept your wife for who she is and respect her feelings, then it's best that you let her go so she can find someone who will love her the way she deserves. All your going to do is cause more problems and completely rip her heart to pieces. Doesn't she deserve better than that for loving you for the last 13 years and giving you two precious children?

Answer 11

u choose to be with her because u love her. sex is not everything in marriage. U have 2 lovely kids and happy with her except for the sex aspect. Pls dont cheat on her. The consequencies would not be good for u, her and the kids. Dont throw away ur happiness for for 2 mins pleasure.

Gudluck