I have been married 6 years, never had an engagment ring, my wedding band not expensive, and last year the stone fell out. and it was damaged pretty bad, Ihave no idea where the stone went.
We didnt have the money at the time to replace it, but since then my husband has spent thousands of dollars on leisure things, golf, drinks, travel, and I still have no ring. I dont even have a gold band.
I have left it alone, argued, browsed jewelery stores and nothing. I am nso sick of feeling that I am not worth a hundred dollar gold band.
What would you do? do I walk over a symbol of my marriage? or just leave it alone?
2006-12-15 03:01:33 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
thanx guys...... I refuse to get my own ring. I am a hard working loving wife, and cator to his every need, I dont require much, but this is my big thing. that ring was priceless to me and held every sorce of value to my life in it. and for him not to care. I think I have to move forward.
2006-12-15 03:12:51 · update #1
Go and buy it yourself. He is not going to "see the light" and you will keep on waiting and keep on being dissapointed. Nagging won't help, after 6 years of marriage, men are inmune to nagging.
I say, go buy it and pay with HIS credit card. You can tell him; " I got the wedding band that I always wanted. Thank you honey".
Good luck
2006-12-15 03:06:01 · answer #1 · answered by Blunt 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I know the ring is a very important symbol to a woman, but to many men it isn't. It is troubling however that he will spend thousands of dollars on his own recreation, but not so much as a hundred dollars to make the woman that is supposed to be his soulmate feel special with the synbol of their bond. In reality, the ring doesn't make or break the marriage. It is a symbol man has created, not something that is a requirement. I wouldn't make a big deal over not having the ring, but I would be disturbed by his lack of caring when it comes to understanding what the ring means to you. I am impressed that you would be pleased with a simple band. This says that you are genuine in you desire for a symbol of your marriage and not a big sparkly status symbol. Ask him why he doesn't feel it is important for you to have a wedding band and explain to him why it is important to you. After that, any more pressure about it will only be annoying to him and will do more harm than good.
2006-12-15 03:17:28 · answer #2 · answered by PDH 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Haven't seen the pic, but will answer u from an intelligent 25 yr old black woman point of view. Tell them dumb girl their lost. So what that your hair is gone, so what some stupid close minded little girl will call this a deal breaker. A woman, a real woman would take u at heart value and not face value. Looks faded, hair falls out and wrinkles appear, but what u have in your heart that makes u a hellva cqatch, never fades. So stay away from the cancer sayer and the little girl at the kiddie pool side of life, cuz its scares out here with it comes to grade A quality men and when those girls get the dude that cheat and lie and break their precious little hearts and they use u as a friend to confide to, tell them u busy washing your hair. Lololol, cause only a woman that to tied up in the out of things, could never tell you about what she got going on inside her. And I hate that u have to go through that, but stop talking to this young broad. And don't stop being the you that keeps u happy and healthy, don't changefor this girls, be u and get a real woman. Good luck
2016-05-24 20:33:24 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, that's a tough one.
Have you actually asked him if/why he doesn't consider you worth a hundred dollar gold band?
Men are pretty dense (I should know as I am equipped with a Y chromosome). We do not respond well to hints and tend not to think in terms of what things "mean" to others. It is possible that he simply does not understand how you feel about it. The best way to communicate with we "penis people" is to be very direct and blunt as a sledgehammer. You also need to make clear that you are not asking for a multi-thousand dollar rock (for this is likely to be the message he gets when you tell him you want a ring). Just a basic band given with the right sentiment.
2006-12-15 03:17:05 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You tell this man that you love him, and want to wear a ring so the world knows you are married. Tell him that if he also values your marriage, he will get you a ring for Christmas. If you don't find one under the tree, it will be a sign to you that he no longer loves you and wants to make you happy. If he loves you, and wants peace in the family, he'll get you a ring. If he doesn't, then you will know how he really feels and go from there. (At that point, maybe marriage counseling is an option.)
2006-12-15 03:10:30 · answer #5 · answered by Wiser1 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I guess I would reanalize the marriage itself...if he has a problem buying you a wedding band then he must not think much about your relationship. It is not the issue of just having a ring it is an issue about what it symbolizes.
2006-12-15 03:10:17 · answer #6 · answered by Stacy H 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You and your husband need some counseling. If you feel that you're not worth anything to your husband, then you guys are in serious trouble.
But....(thinking about my own hubby now) maybe he just wants you to replace it yourself? For several years my hubby kept saying he wanted to get me a new wedding set. I still had my original one, but have gained weight (like we tend to do) and it no longer fit. We'd look, and I'd look, and I'd leave pictures out of what I wanted, and no ring. Finally, I just asked him if he wanted me to do it myself. He was very relieved, and said he was just too intimidated to do it himself, because he was afraid it would be the wrong thing. So I just went out, and picked out what I wanted, and got it.
The only way you're going to find out what's going on with your husband is to ASK him. Communication is key in any marriage. Good luck.
2006-12-15 03:08:02 · answer #7 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he bought u a ring to begin with, that the symbol was there, and still is. Take a hundred bucks, and go buy urself one u like urself. Btw... does he hav a ring himself? If not take a hundred and fifty and go buy cheap band set. (Walmart : $150 - $175 / Pawnshop: $100 -$ 150) Show him what "HE" bought u. If he gets upset.... then u kno what to do, Don't u?
2006-12-15 03:11:50 · answer #8 · answered by bbygirl529 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like the ring is the least of your problems... You shouldn't need a ring to prove you are married. But if he is out with the boys and spending that much money, neglecting you and his responsibilities.... that is your deal breaker!
2006-12-15 03:12:59 · answer #9 · answered by dasnave 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
After all hes spending, I think if I were you, Id go buy my own ring and tell him since he couldnt take care of it, then you did. Your hubby has his priorities out of synch so I wouldnt wait for him and definitely this will make you fell awhole lot better and get rid of one more worry. Good luck and Merry Christmas
2006-12-15 03:07:52 · answer #10 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋