This will be the first Xmas my ex husband and I will not be spending together in 13 years. We separated and divorced in 2006. He had an affair and is now living with the other woman. Our son and I will be spending Xmas in another city and even though my ex put me through he$$, I am actually going to miss him this Xmas. Is this normal or am I crazy and pathetic?!?
2006-12-15 02:52:43 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i hope it's normal cuz i feel the same way. christmas is going to be hard to get through this year.
2006-12-15 04:03:44 · answer #1 · answered by pikachu 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it's normal and I can sympathize! You are NOT crazy or pathetic. You go through a grieving process after divorce particularly when it happens as yours did. I'm not sure, but I really believe it could be worse than death of a spouse because you feel you were rejected. Mine was similar to your situation. The first year of holidays was hard, but it got better. I spent time with friends and family. Also we volunteered at the local pantry packing Christmas boxes. Thinking about making someone else happy helped me with my own hurt and pain. And let me recommend something that I did not know about after my divorce. Find a Divorce Care group in your area and attend. I cannot stress that enough. I believe it will help you with the pain, the questions, your self esteem and worth. There will be others with similar situations and experienced counselors or teachers that can help you walk through this storm in your life. Believe me, it gets better, but don't compound the problem by getting involved with someone else while you are still carrying around the baggage from your divorce. It will only make your situation worse, not better. You need healing first. I truly hope this helps.
2006-12-15 03:05:16 · answer #2 · answered by rugbee 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's normal to miss your ex on special occasions, such as reunions and parties.
On Christmas this is specially true, because in the Winter time we're more vulnerable to become sad and/or depressed, and if you're alone, missing someone, even if they're not good to you, is normal.
Sometimes we miss being with someone we're accustomed to having around. In most cases we only miss not being alone.
It doesn't sound like you're crazy or pathetic.
If you're going to be alone, I would recommend finding a local association with its own Christmas party (local restaurants, churches, etc)
Getting out of the house will get your mind away from your ex, and you'll realize that there are lots of people in the exact same situation as you.
2006-12-15 03:09:45 · answer #3 · answered by Ziggy_73 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's normal. You had a lot of history with your ex and made many happy memories together especially at Xmas time. Just thank God that you have your son and the love and support of your family and friends. With time you won't miss much at all.
2006-12-15 02:56:56 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First thing, Do not over text her. She will get annoyed and if you keep telling her "TAKE ME BACK I LOVE YOU." Learn here https://tr.im/t8rxg
She will not want you even more. You need to show her that you don't need her and can live your life without her. She still cares about you I am sure. Maybe try "flirting" with other girls around her to make her jealous. I know its bad, but if i saw my ex flirting with someone else it would make me REALLY ANGRY. However, you still need to show her you care about her too. Show her what she's missing and remind her of it. Be confident and don't show your broken heart. Try ignoring her? Girls hate that. You want her to come to you. Once she does this YOU have all the power.
She will realize what you mean to her and she will hopefully come crawling back. (I am in the same situation as you, except I am the girl trying to get my ex back). Try not to be so clingy and give her space. But try to be around so she sees you, but don't talk to her much. Keep convos short and if you txt her, which you shouldn't, then also keep it short and bland. This will be hard to do because you just want to let her in your life again, but you can't. If you show her that you are desperate to get her back, she won't go for it. Make her come to you and REMIND her of all that she is missing out on. Hope this helps. And trust me, I know how you feel. Girls usually come around easier than guys so you should be lucky. ughh wish i could say the same.
2016-07-19 17:26:41 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh yes!! Christmas is all about love and families. It is very normal. Keep this in mind and try to be with your family (brothers,sisters, mom,dad, aunts uncles, cousins or friends that feel like family) and just enjoy them. Don't try to replicate Christmas as it was with your husband. You need it to be totally different. Try to have fun. Play games and watch some good movies.
Also try church if you don't already. Christmas has lost it's true meaning for many and it really is about Jesus. Hope this helps. I am sorry that you are going through this. It is really just the desire to be with someone romantically, rather than specifically him.
2006-12-15 03:34:48 · answer #6 · answered by JAM 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you sure its him you are missing? Or just the fact that there isn't a close companion around for the holidays?
My last two Christmases have been GREAT! He's not around to make my life miserable during the holidays anymore. I had actually stopped celebrating any holidays when I was married because they always turned out awful. I do miss having a close companion during these times but I don't miss him.
2006-12-15 03:13:32 · answer #7 · answered by gypsy g 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes, it is normal to miss your ex husband on X mas. Dont let things get to you. You are just not used to being without him on Xmas and its going to be something new. Even though you are missing him, dont let it get in your way. I hope your family and yourself have a wonderful Xmas
2006-12-15 02:57:29 · answer #8 · answered by Mrz.IcED 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is normal because this is what you have known for the last 13 years. Dont think you are crazy or pathetic you are human. Sorry to hear about the divorce.
2006-12-15 02:56:00 · answer #9 · answered by Ms. Q 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your story is the same as mine only the genders are reversed and we had no children. And I do miss my ex very much. I will be in another city with family but it will not be the same. I kind of can't wait for Christmas to be over with. It's just sad.
2006-12-15 02:57:51 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
of course it is normal honey, you know it is~ how could you not miss the person you spent everyday with for 13yrs.??? especially ay christmas time~ i wanna wish you a merry cristmas & i hope & pray that you enjoy this holiday despite the changes you must endure.. things will get easier & better..be encouraged no matter whats going on god will make it alright but you gotta stay strong & 1 day ya' husband will reap all that he sowed, u just keep ya' head up & stay strong>>>>>
2006-12-15 02:59:01 · answer #11 · answered by kimmiegaddy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋