You need to do whatever will make you happy in the long-term.
Here is a quote for you:
"Don't wait for everything to be exactly right to start... THERE WILL NEVER BE A "PERFECT" TIME! Start now, with whatever you have. The things you need will come to you as you work toward your goal."
- Author Unknown
2006-12-15 02:42:47
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answer #1
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answered by Ritz Grimarren 3
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My friend, I truly sympathize with you. You are definitely between a rock and a hard place. There are two things I noticed in your call for help, you began your piece #1 by saying you still Love her, and #2 you were very wise to point out the costs associated with divorce.
I think these two things are vital in your case. Speaking as one who also finds that I cannot stand my wife at times, leans on the Love to bring me through the tough times and so far its worked out quite well. If I had thrown in the towel just last year, before I learned how to communicate better, it would have been a huge mistake, especially considering that I have children I adore. Secondly, a wise money expert stated recently that Divorce by far will be the costliest decision a man will ever make, it will put you in the negative column with dividends, and I believe it.
You sound wise, and I trust whatever decision you make will be the right one. It almost sounds like you need to bumrush her with an intervention with dire consequences before you allow her to consider this pattern any further. Good luck!
2006-12-15 02:59:50
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answer #2
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answered by Jarhead 91 2
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i have commonplace human beings have those "myth affairs" before, even with the truth that this is continuously with someone on the internet and under no circumstances in genuine life. this can no longer be what you opt to take heed to, yet there's a reliable threat that your spouse has been searching the marriage habitual or pedestrian for your time. really than actively desirous to cheat, this is romance and excitement that persons are after, at the same time as they go in for this kind of ingredient. imagine about it. The voice mails, overdue evening telephone call and the letter sound more desirable like little ones than adults. in the journey that they were having sex, i imagine there would were some connection with it someplace alongside the line. "walking by using the streets hand in hand" is more desirable sugary than acceptable ! i do not understand what the guy's excuse is, even with the truth that, for the reason that he's engaged and under no circumstances even married. perchance he became hoping it may get actual, yet actually he ought to inform you that. So, what ought to you do about it? properly, perchance you ought to ask her why she felt the want to have this romance. you assert you concept you both had a reliable marriage, which signifies that in the 11 years you've been at the same time there is under no circumstances been any suggestion of her dishonest before. ought to she sense taken with none interest by using you, perchance (which typically occurs at the same time as couples were at the same time for a lengthy time period) ? Do you nonetheless call her "acceptable" and plan little romantic surprises ? in case you do not, then perchance this became why she were given centred on a romance elsewhere - and the entire ingredient will be using workplace flirtation getting somewhat out of hand. inspite of you be sure to do about getting a divorce, i imagine you ought to a minimum of have a communication about why all this befell. And - needed - you ought to ask your self no matter if you nonetheless love your spouse. in case you do, then searching for a divorce ought to easily be a way of having revenge and neither of you'll sense free with it. So a minimum of sparkling the air before doing some thing irrevocable.
2016-10-18 08:04:16
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answer #3
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answered by ? 4
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Well, if you feel the marriage is irreparably damaged, and there's nothing left to do, then you do need to hire a lawyer to protect your interests since you provide for the family. You're talking about your children's futures here, and you need to protect your assets for your children. Contact a lawyer, they will work with you on the financial issues you have. But don't let the lack of $$ stop you from getting the legal advise you so desperately need right now. Best of luck to you.
2006-12-15 02:45:24
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answer #4
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answered by basketcase88 7
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Divorce her, you don't really love her. You may thnk you do b/c you hate to belive that you don't love someone that you married and had kids w/ but the reality is you DON"T! If you think some one is so annoying that you can't even live w/ them then something isn't right. I mean yes of course there are going to be anoyances in every relationship, but love is when ur willing to deal w/ them for the rest of ur life, b/c ur feelings over rule any little pet peeves there may be!
2006-12-15 02:44:31
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answer #5
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answered by Anonymous
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sounds like you've made up your mind, i think you know what's right for you. it doesn't cost anything to talk to a lawyer. look up inexpensive divorces on the net for ideas on how to handle it and to get an idea of cost. once you've done that, sit her down and try to make this a pleasant and easy divorce, don't let things get heated but be honest about your feelings. Good Luck.
2006-12-15 02:47:05
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answer #6
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answered by Anonymous
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Your feeling pretty sh_tty sorry to hear that. I want you to ask yourself one question before you say you want a divorce; Is it worth saving? If you think it is then go to some sort of marriage counseling and if not move on. The money is not the big picture here! Good luck!
2006-12-15 03:32:02
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answer #7
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answered by beamer 5
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Have you ever tried sitting down and telling her how you feel. ??? I would give her a head ups saying we really need to talk, I dont want you to be upset or get an attitude, I really need you to hear me out. I feel like _________________ when you do_________________ and I am not sure if I want to be here because, I cant put up with it anymore. Honesty is the best policy. Oh yeah before you start talking her let her know if she begins to get heated/upset then you two may have to finish the conversation after she has had time to cool down but its really important to talk things over and get them out in the open.
2006-12-15 02:45:32
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answer #8
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answered by Ms. Q 5
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Honey, GO upstairs NOW pack your bags, take whatever you want from the house, get in the car and LEAVE, you do not have to go through a divorce just dissapear and leave that woman to her own devices, sounds like you have been living in hell...get out NOW and start being happy....good luck to you. & remember you only get ONE shot at this life.
2006-12-15 02:49:02
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answer #9
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answered by Denise W 4
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You need to sit her down and talk to because she seems as if she may not be aware of what she is doing bothering you.....Sit her down and talk to her, not yell.....She needs to know that when you make decisions, whether it is finacially or something that will affect your lives, it needs to be discussed and make sure the two of you are in agreement. This has to be done before you walk out and leave because of the things she does without advising you or talking to you...You can also pray and ask GOD to change her and take the anger out of you.....
Good Luck/////
2006-12-15 02:45:50
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answer #10
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answered by Anonymous
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