I am 18 weeks pregnant , i am 26 . This is my third child ( i had 2 in a previous relationship). The father of this baby is 38 , he has no children and we are just friends. we had sex and i found out i was pregnant . we talk all the time about the baby but when i asked him if he wanted to go to the ultrasound the other day he all of a sudden seemed scared. when i asked him what was so scary he said we've talked a lot about it , even picked names but it doesn't seem real to him yet and seeing the ultrasound would make reality set in and that seemed to frighten him. I called him after the ultrasound to tell him we are having a boy and he was excited ! What is going on , he knows but how can i make him realize this is very real ? And he will have to either find a way to deal with it or spend his life missing out on his child due to fear !
2006-12-15 02:16:30 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
OMG- I can't believe that one response to your question, so I had to comment. Just because you aren't married, doesn't mean you will bad parents- lol! It's obvious it wasn't planned and you answered your own question- It's not real to him yet. Heck, I'm four months pregnant with my second and it's at times hard for me to believe! That doesn't mean I'm not excited are that I won't love my baby, so take that into consideration when dealing with his fear. It sounds as though he's excited and willing/able to be there for you and the baby- It's just a huge life change and will take time to adjust, so don't freak:) People blow that marriage thing way out of proportion. It is just paper. My partner and I had a three year old, owned our home, both had carreers, all that jazz, before we decided to tie the knot:) If we didn't stay together we both would still be great parents to our baby.
Jesus Christ ( no pun intended) but pull yourselves out of the bible belt and answer the question asked- not lecture on on why this poor women is going to be a bad parent cause' shes not married.
2006-12-15 02:45:52 · answer #1 · answered by Dolphin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, you should have pushed more for him to go to the ultrasound. My husband (wasn't my husband at the time) was 25 at the time and VERY scared and nervous during my first pregnancy. He didn't want to talk about it or anything. He would get very cold and distant when I tried. Well, we were near breaking up over it and then my ultrasound came around at 21 weeks. His mom wanted him to go very badly, so he did. Everything changed then! When he saw our daughter moving, heard her hear beat and they pointed out all the organs like the heart, kidneys and her spine and arms and legs (but we couldn't find out the sex, she was shy lol). He cried and when we left he wanted to go baby shopping! He said once he saw her and not just my belly, it was different. Maybe the same thing will happen to him once the baby is born. He might then be over come and just love him to death and be a great father. Good Luck!! Maybe if you have another ultrasound PUSH harder and tell him how much it means to you.
2006-12-15 02:47:29 · answer #2 · answered by angie_laffin927 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He is scared because he is not ready to be a father.
I am scared because you are not ready to be a good mother.
I do not say this as an insult so please don't take it personally. But your track record is terrible. Two children by a previous relationship that's over, and now another child conceived with a man you were friends with.
Did it ever occur to you that it would be best to find a good, mature man, marry him and THEN start having babies?
Really, it is your innocent children that will be suffering the most because of your selfish behaviors.
You are asking too much of the baby's father. You think he's supposed to just accept this with a smile on his face, when in reality he has fathered a baby by a woman he doesn't plan to marry. All he sees in his future are forced visits and the burden of having to shell out money for this child.
Consider putting this baby up for adoption because neither you or the father are qualified to be good parents. You're not even mature enough to know what the purpose of sex is!!
2006-12-15 02:25:34 · answer #3 · answered by Veritas 7 · 1⤊ 4⤋
It sounds like neither of you planned on having this child. He is probably scared of the fact the he is now at least partly responsible for the welfare of another human being! That's enough to freak anyone out!
And what about child support and custody? Have you guys talked about this? He may be worried about all sorts of things but just waiting on you to bring them up! You guys need to sit down and have a loooooong conversation about what is going to happen once this child is born!
Good luck!
2006-12-15 02:27:09 · answer #4 · answered by startwinkle05 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
once you listen the time period no balls, it has a diverse intending to each and anybody. No balls to three human beings skill being scared to get damage, or do some thing bodily courageous. To others it skill being an avoider, averting conflict, or warfare of words, or manipulating as a replace of confronting. maximum of my problem in existence has come not from somewhat being an avoider, yet from being a shy human being, and being considered as an avoider. i do not think human beings might want to discover more advantageous guts, because no human being, which include me, has guts each and each and every of the time, each day. i'm only a guy with a foul social mistrust and soreness, and some human beings see it as worry of warfare of words, and as a human being, I care what they imagine more advantageous than I fake to care about them.
2016-11-30 19:39:53 · answer #5 · answered by rothberg 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am really sorry for you... I'm in the same situation like you, the only difference it's that he is my husband and it's our 2nd child... he is freakkin out even told me that he wasn't ready...anyways I'm just giving him time I know some day he will regret everything and if he really love you he will come back... Just give him couple months then he will realise what he has :) Good luck.
2006-12-15 02:44:26 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
having a child can be a very scary experience, give him time. He will deal with the situation in his own time.
2006-12-15 02:19:36 · answer #7 · answered by tay_jen1 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think its hard for him because he is not the one who is pregnant. He doesnt feel the baby move and he doesnt live with you. I think he will fall in love with his baby when he will see him. Give him time, he doesnt know how to act.... he never done it.
Good luck
2006-12-15 02:21:19 · answer #8 · answered by nursymee 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
scared of wat may happen
2006-12-15 02:25:06 · answer #9 · answered by shantinique r 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋