I have this close older male friend and we have been very close friends over last 3 years. I feel its time to distance ourselves from each other because our relationship is interfering with our significant other relationships. But he keeps persisiting that we havea "special" friendship and we love and care for each other deeply, but we are with others right now. After much thinking and advice I feel its best we distance ourselves from each other. He continues to say things I feel are over the line.
2006-12-15 02:13:36 · 12 answers · asked by wartytoadjody39 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
wow that sounds like your in a hard spot. Maybe talk to him and tell him why you need space right now. If he's a friend he'll understand and know that this is whats best
2006-12-15 02:15:39 · answer #1 · answered by melissa r 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he views you as a backburner girl -- he has feelings for you and wants to keep you close, but you're not exactly what he wants. Guys can be territorial about friends. This might not be the case, but if you two get closer whenever your individual reltationships are going through bad spots, it might be the case.
Sounds like you either need to get together with your friend (if you really do love each other deeply) or move away from your "special" friendship. Do this by discussing it honestly and spending less time together and talking on the phone.
2006-12-15 10:28:11 · answer #2 · answered by TCO_25 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm sorry you are in an uncomfortable situation, these situations are not easy to deal with sometimes. but you have to be in controll!! if you truely don't want his attention anymore than be a broken record!! let him know how uncomfortable you are with all his comments and attention and remind him you are both with other people and he has no right to mess up either of your current relationships. then the best thing to do is stay away from him!! its obvious that the two of you can't spend time together unless you are willing to cross that line with him. so no more phone calls and no more hanging out!!! it will be better for the both of you. GOOD LUCK WITH THIS!!
2006-12-15 10:23:36 · answer #3 · answered by onyx maiden 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey....I think its true what they say.....a woman and a man cannot be friends without having some kind of sexual attraction to each other sooner or later.....
I had a friend for about 2 years....He was older also.....I am 19 and he is 23.....he was the best friend I had.....There was nothing that he wouldn't do for me.....But to me, that's all he was a best friend.....I had a boyfriend and he had a girlfriend.....
It is not until later....(when I actually got to know his girl fiend and started talking to her)...when I found out that he was "in love" with me....His girl told me about how they constantly fight and how he does all this stuff for me not caring about her and how she feels about it.....I mean a lot of the fights that they were having were because he would lie to her about being with me and stuff like that.....
The truth is.... there was never anything but "friendship" on my part....But I guess there was more than that on his....
While my relationship hasn't suffered, theirs did.....And I decided to stop talking to him....I feel bad now.....But the thing is.....I don't want them two to suffer.....I still talk to him now.....but nothing more than that....
I say you have to distance yourself....Because you never know how its going to turn out....It might be you that's going to develop feelings for him and then your loved one is going to suffer from it.......
2006-12-15 10:25:24 · answer #4 · answered by Shlooby 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best way is to tell him directly what u feel is right .he will be hurt now but later he may realize what happened was for his own good and u will also be free from this relation but i think u should continue being friends as it is not easy to get a true friend......
2006-12-15 10:28:20 · answer #5 · answered by saranya 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well he no doubt wants to turn your relationship into something more than friends. If you are against that I would suggest spending much less time with him and slowly but surely putting some space between you. you can outright just tell him you are not interested in him that way
2006-12-15 10:17:12 · answer #6 · answered by Mike 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it looks like you've decided not to take this relationship with him further than close friends.
yes, you should talk about it to him. it's obvious that he fancies and is interested in you. good to hear that you've got your priorities right and is not cheating on your boyfriend.
tell him that you really love your boyfriend and treasure your relationship with him but there's a limit to where you guys can go to. be honest. you can love him as a friend but that's that. he needs to know your restrictions.
good luck! (:
2006-12-15 10:20:52 · answer #7 · answered by Coin Soup 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your situation is really complicated,but its really all up to you,who do you really want to stay with you,Do you really think that distance will help both of you?Before making any decisions,think first who really loves you wholeheartedly and who you really love?And if you think both of them are important to you and you still need some space,then tell him about your plans of setting distance so he would'nt feel so bad,explain to him that you love your bf and you wanted to keep your relationship with your man and you want him to move on and love his girl
2006-12-15 10:18:31 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him about this and tell him he's gone too far and if he does not stop or at least back off a little, you'll just have to cut off all communication with him.
2006-12-15 10:16:59 · answer #9 · answered by capnemo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that he is making you uncomfortable with his speech and actions. If he is really a friend, and not just someone trying to get in your pants, he will understand and honor your feelings.
2006-12-15 10:15:56 · answer #10 · answered by IGH3Rat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋