well, i'm 24 years old and she is 40. i'm single, she is married. i've known her for about two years now. she is currently undergoing a divorce now because her husband's a dumbass. i have 2 children, she has 5. we see each other every mourning to take our children to the bus. our children play with each other everyday. we go out as a family sometimes (not the husband). i pick up her eldest daughter up from work. sometimes we stay up all night just talking to each other about everything. we know each other almost inside and out. we email, talk on the phone, and/or chat. she is just the woman i've dreamed about my whole life. i know it's not lust, but her caring yet, sexy personality. i know i'm young, but i can't pass this up. the husband is neglectful and very abusive verbally. she and i never really kiss(on the lips anyway). we haven't slept with each other. i'm way pass the friend feelings. i don't want to lose her friendship. should i tell her how i feel. i'm in love, somebody help!
2006-12-15 00:10:58 · 31 answers · asked by the jackass 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
god bless your heart.
the first moment I sow the question I was lke...oh,noooooooooo.not a married one....
but your story is very romantic...the agy is not a REASON when there are involved real feelings.
I would suggest to hold your horses untill she is done with the divorce....and only after that to try to insinuate something :)
hpe you won't lose her..I also think that the more time you'll spend- naturally- together...the more NATUTALLY she will fall for you.too.
**** luck
peace
2006-12-15 00:19:30 · answer #1 · answered by meninne3 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Age may not be an issue to you here and now. But she may think that it is. I have a feeling that she's feeling it too, but she may be thinking that it is not a wise thing to do. If you have thought it over enough, then I think you would have a lot of convincing to do. But one advice, give her space. She has gone through a lot, with the divorce and her whole life is changing now. Don't go rushing in. But don't neglect her. Just be in her view often enough to let her know that you're there for her, but don't linger too long. I know this is easier said than done. Good luck. I just hope that she doesn't see you as a friend.
How old is her eldest daughter? That might pose a problem as well.
2006-12-15 00:35:14 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hey, I understand how you feel! This question really hit home for me. I am around the age of your friend and I have a friend who is 23. I am going through a separation/divorce and I never thought in a million years I would find someone who is in the same situation. Tell her how you feel, do not let this pass you by. This situation didn't happen for nothing, she is getting a divorce and this is your chance. You may never find another woman like her. Its her husband fault he didn't know he had a diamond and now its gone! So go with your feelings if you are in love with her, nine times out of ten if you are feeling this way she is too. Go for it!
Good Luck :-)
2006-12-15 00:42:11 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
To start the feelings you have for her are wrong, she is married and she likes you as a friend. Do you really want to cause a marriage break up? If he is abusive to her then she needs to leave him because of that not because of how you feel about her. Be her friend, tell her how you are feeling but tell her you would never act on it because she is married and you do not want her marriage to break up over you. You felt it was best to be honest with her. Tell her that your and her friendship to you is important and that you would hate it if it ended. But you need to put some distance between the two of you so that your feelings do not destroy her marriage. If the marriage has lasted this long odds are it will continue in the same manner. Remember telling her how you feel about her may end the friendship if she is really in love with her husband. Sometimes when we want something badly we see things that are not really there. If she has not told you he is abusive to her then odds are you are taking things out of context. Best of luck to you and age should not matter.
2006-12-15 00:23:02 · answer #4 · answered by victoria_bell_99 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to leave this one alone, just because she is going through a traumatic period right now. You don't know how she will be feeling after she is actually divorced from her husband. There are too many women out there to get hook in with someone who is legally still married. There is nothing wrong with being friends. It sounds like that is what she view you as. So don't mess up a good relationship now with your feelings. If you are meant to be together it will happen naturally. In mean time be a support to her and don't push it.
2006-12-15 00:16:31 · answer #5 · answered by stringhead3 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is a complicated sitchuation that alot of people go through, so you are not alone.
It seems as you have attached to someone with more stability and life experience, and you feel that she is a higher person, perhaps than yourself. But if you know what the Bible says, You shouldn't even be talking to her until her divorce is final. I know you say you haven't kissed her or slept with her, but in your heart to be in love with her is adultery. If you love her so much, tell her so, and wait to be with her until her divorce is final. You will thank yourself you did, and save you alot of agony about the husband, because remember he is still, HER husband, so wait it out. Sounds like you got a great woman there so tell her, and wait it out if you feel shes worth it.
Good Luck !
2006-12-15 00:17:30 · answer #6 · answered by Ashley 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is an emotional relationship. Either way, she is cheating on her husband. Granted not physically, but she really knows how you feel and continues to call you, email you, she is cheating. The problem is she is taken. You should back off a little and see if she comes in closer, I mean emotionally. If she does, then her husband doesn't matter much to her. Then you tell her. A word of caution though, it may wierd out the kids if it goes further.
2006-12-15 00:17:16 · answer #7 · answered by Floss 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You probably should always tell someone how you feel. Speak your mind, but hey it is not her that you have to worry about. You should be worrying about that husband of hers. She might not be willing to leave her husband for you. Then to you never will know unless you find out. Don't mess around and get f--cked up. I am saying this because you already said that he is abusive. Stay safe around her. This is a big step that you are taking. She has five children and you have two.It's a package deal.
2006-12-15 00:21:15 · answer #8 · answered by lhpretty 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wait until her divorce is final...if you were meant to be in a love relationship with her, it will just fall into place...the age difference means nothing..my mom met her husband when he was 22 and she was 37...that was 19 years ago... (I'm only 4 years younger than my step-dad...it was never weird, I was just glad to see that my Mom found a good man after being w/my asshole father for so long) :) I'm curious as to why the soon-to-be ex hubby isnt flipping out over your"friendship" with his wife...
2006-12-15 00:35:13 · answer #9 · answered by ~LAX Mom~ 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you really care for her thats great. If you really love he r keep being her friend , wait till after her divorce is final .,before tell her you true feelings. She is probly going through a lot going through a divorce and needs that friendship and your support to get through it ,with out the presser of starting a new relationship. Just wait then express your feellings . Good luck
2006-12-15 00:21:30 · answer #10 · answered by tigerb29209 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋