Is it possible to become gay through circumstance?

Question

Gay people say they are born that way, but don't some people divert due to lack of opportunities with opp. sex. ? Has anyone become gay due to circumstance? Did you revert back when your circumstances/opportunities altered?

It's not only people in prison who lack opportunity, what about single parents who don't go out much? Or people who have been hurt by previous partners and distrust members of the opposite sex? Abstinence may then occur - can that lead to alterations in ones sexuality? Especially if you continue to see people of the same sex and get offers in that direction?

Answer 1

Hello mate im a Lesbian and i knew i was different at 13 but didnt have my first sexual encounter with a woman till i was 20. Im 28 now.

My girlfriend was hetrosexual when i met her and had never even thought about it (so she says). She had always been with men till i showed up!!! Im not bragging about anything, as im certainly no where near perfect, no one is. She tells me she feels that lesbains are more close to eachother and always share their thoughts and are just more loving. (Thats not actually true through, that all depends on who you meet, same goes for hetrosexual relationships). Weve been together for 2 years now. Her last boyfriend was a right WanKer to her and treated her with no respect. I dont know if she would go back to a man if we ever split up? She says she wouldnt but one never can be sure can they.

Some people turn gay after bad relationships. One of my ex's was married for 9 years and had 4 children. They divorced after he became viloent towards her, and she found her comfort in a woman. This all happened 7 years ago and shes had a few lesbian relationships but shes not once gone back to man. She says she doesnt trust men any more. So yes i would say it also happens in this way.

Sometimes people turn gay for other reasons like:-
They were just trying it out and found they enjoyed it more
They been abused or raped.
They were always being let down by the opposite sex.
Had their heart broken.

But it also happens the other way around sometimes, one of my ex's mates was a lesbian from the age of 15 till she was 30 and hadnt met the right girl through all them years and was fed up getting her heart broken. So she decided to try for a hetrosexual relationship and its now been 5 years (shes now 35) and shes been with this guy for 4 of them and theyve just recently got married. Shes never been so happy.

Answer 2

Those who say you are not born gay are clearly not gay. It's like saying you are not born heterosexual. It has been said on many occasions - you are what you are - YES you are born gay. No circumstances can change that. All circumstances do is force you to be what you are not. Because homosexuality was illegal when I was young I was forced not to accept that I was gay and tried to live a heterosexual life. It was a disaster. Likewise if a young person today (and there are plenty) is living in a hostile and homophobic environment they try to hide their true sexuality and be something they are not. Eventually when they do show their true feelings many get thrown out of home by their parents. The Albert Kennedy Trust can give you numerous examples since they help young people who are homeless as a result of their sexuality.

Answer 3

Everyone seems quite confrontational today!

Its called "situational" sexual behavior and not "circumstance" but thats pretty close. Everyone mentions prison as an example, but as also mentioned that is often coerced sex (rape or threat of violence). It is not sexuality, but a sex act and the assigning of sexuality does not apply beyond the moment. There also are cases of people of the same sex in isolation (military, rural, etc) in which homosexuality may occur, but again its a means to an end (pardon the pun). In all circumstances, people when re introduced into normal settings, will revert to their own sexuality, and for 90% of people thatis hetero.

Gay people in many cases have lived heterosexual lives, complete with sex lives with members of the opposite sex. But because sexulaity is more than a sex act, that it is something deeper and emotional, most will seek to fulfill those emotional needs. They "come out" and accept their sexuality over mere sexual behavior. Keep in mind, it is a lot easier to be heterosexual, the society encourages it, and discourages homosexuality, so for someone to accept homosexuality is evidence that there is something more profound than deciding they want to get it on with the same gender. There is a need, and a desire that is very much part of them and defines them.

No one is gay because there is a lack of heterosexuality, its not a consolation prize. You aren't heterosexual because of circumstances, you are hard wired to be straight, you have an emotional need you want met through contact with the opposite sex. It is the same for gays and the same sex.

EDIT: Just saw your addendum. What you described there is more than situational, but perhaps aversion and possibly for some, latent sexuality. I still believe that lack of opportunity in what your true sexuality is does not lead you to switching teams emotionally even if you do physically. I also think that the circumstances you described might also provide someone the time to examine what it is they truly want in their life, not a mere runner up activity. I'm sure there are those that can disconnect emotionally from sex, and sexuality is not an issue, but they are rare, and as you mentioned possibly hurt on some level. Sexuality is more than circumstance or stituation, its much more profound. Good question.

Answer 4

I'm gay but during my teens I didn't "divert" to a lack of opportunity just that I didn't fancy women.

Some men who lived the straight life who are gay don't divert back to a straight life after taking the move to come out as gay.

I'm not really sure where your question's going.

Answer 5

I'm a 29yr lesbian, i didn't not convert by lack of circumstances, i have always felt different, I am an only child in a single parent family so statically I'm perfect for the job! Ever since i can remember Ive felt different, I wasn't into playing with dolls or dress en up in mum cloths or doing anything girl, Ive always wanted to build stuff, knock it down or even dress like a boy. I have never felt like a boy or wanted to be one, I am happy just being able to be me. My family and friends have accepted but it takes time for both them and you to get use to it.

Being Gay, Lesbian, trans-gender etc.. its part of who you are and yes i do feel that some people have changed due to life changing moments but not all. Most of my friends (lesbian's) have had boyfriends, fiances etc Me I'm 100% lesbian never lost my womanhood to a man and never want to. No offence to men but i have many male straight and gay alike friends and i love them to bits but for me Your NOT the ***** Cat Dolls!

Answer 6

What you want to do is stop searching at existence as a chain of ultimatums ie if I try this i am going to't have that etc. i'm not over simplifying your existence or your emotions, yet there are some issues i imagine you want to guage. existence is often about about sacrifice, or compromise. although there are some issues that could want to by no skill be compromised and that is who you're as someone. this isn't what you imagine human beings assume of you, yet what you somewhat and actually opt for. you're saying that you could not pursue love without dropping 'belongings you want to do' and being 'between the adult males' i encounter it troublesome to appreciate. although the least complicated way i am going to positioned it, is there's no cost too extreme to pay for romance, because in case you bypass down a route you imagine might want to bypass down leaving the potential of love in the back of, then you truly will experience sorry about it for some thing of your existence. with techniques from choosing love also come to ensure your sexuality because the constructive element that is, not the load you look to imagine that is as we talk. it provides you with power and self belief that ought to look so distant as we talk. peculiarly it ought to really help you to ensure that accepting your sexuality (even with that must be) makes you larger of a guy than any non everlasting 'bonding with the adult males' as well being gay doesn't stop you from being a bloke, that is in elementary words component to you you opt for to reconcile with. good luck!

Answer 7

The only gay through circumstance I know is PRISON. Thats why the whole Gay Straight thing is STupid, sexuality is so much more and yet so much less. You just want to get off, weho cares who does it and what gender they are.

Answer 8

"Divert"??? People who *are* gay are gay. Period.

Prisoners, for example, may engage in same-sex relations, but not identify as gay. But many times, it's a rape situation, not a loving relationship between two adults. Big, big, big difference!

Answer 9

The only difference between a gay and straight man is six pints of lager

Answer 10

I am the opposite case, again due to the circumstances: I am going straight because Christmas trees are better than my gay partner:

A Christmas tree doesn't care if you had other Christmas trees in the past.
Even a small Christmas tree gives satisfaction.
A Christmas tree always looks good, even with the lights off.
A Christmas tree has pretty balls.
A Christmas tree doesn't follow you around begging if you decide to choose a different one.
A Christmas tree stays up for 12 days and nights.
A Christmas tree is always happy with its size.
A Christmas tree doesn't care if you sit around in your pyjamas and watch soap operas all day.
A Christmas tree doesn't get mad if you break its balls.
You can throw a Christmas tree out when it starts to get old and droopy.
You don't have to put up with a Christmas tree all year!