I recently caught my daughter masturbating. At least I think that's what she was doing. (She was lying on her bed with her pants around her ankles) She doesn't know I saw and believe me I didn't look long enough to make sure! Is this normal at her age? It kinda freaked me out. That's not something I was into until I was WAY older. She's not into boys yet and any conversation about sex leads to the ultimate.. EWWW. Should I talk with her about this? Help from parents AND other teens would be great.
2006-12-14 22:33:01 · 32 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
No, not ashamed at all. Even parents don't have all the answers, even though our kids think we do! Sex is just another part of life and if I don't understand I like to find out. She started her period when she was 9 and I asked about that too!
2006-12-14 22:42:09 · update #1
its not too young...im a teen too...and i started around that age too./...masturbating doesn't mean she's gonna get into sex...it just means she's trying to get comfortable with her body..its perfectly natural..don't worry too much...and i think you should start talking to her with regards to sex and boys./..its better to come from an experienced and mature woman than from her horny lil friends...its also a time for you two to bond..you don't want to miss her growing up days
2006-12-14 23:33:46 · answer #1 · answered by biance t 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋
as an older teen (19) if shes not having interest in boys yet then this really isnt an emergency or anything. as long as she isnt hurting her self then it may just be an output for her. I think its kind of like cursing into a pillow. It fulfills something without affecting anyone else. If shes not ready for the whole sex talk then just take her out for ice cream some day and say something like " i know kids your age start to get curious so if you want to talk you can come to me. We'll make those times seperate from everything else. Like if you had a question ill keep it between you and me. I wont bring it up with anyone else. And I'll try not to pry. Ok?" give her a minute to ask if she wants to and if she doesnt say anything then move on to school work or something. No she has an open gate to go to but she doesnt feel like she has to say anything now.
2006-12-15 13:49:49 · answer #2 · answered by 0111450 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Go to your local library, look on the Internet, gather as much info as you can and brush up on your "Birds and the Bees" speech. find the right time when you two are alone and sit her down and ask tell her you want to talk to her about life and human sexuality. Start by reassuring her that discovering one's body is not a bad thing, nothing to ever be ashamed about making your self fell good. you might work into your speech the question about whether or not she is already sexually active. Be prepared to hear the worst, she might have already lost her virginity. In which case, make sure she understands very clearly about the use of birth control AND protection, i.e: condoms. If she is sexually active , you need to take her to a GYN or local Family Planning Clinic to get her on birth control ( plus check to see if she might have contracted any STDs) This is a whole other phase in the growth of your child and you should be able to make her comfortable enough to discuss these issues with you. after all you are her mother and should be the closest and best friend she'll ever have.
2006-12-14 22:45:17 · answer #3 · answered by jesshispet 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Keep in mind there are kids that are 12 out there that are actually having sex. Masturbation is common from the age of 5 or even younger. I say it's time to "the chat"
2006-12-14 23:10:36 · answer #4 · answered by mattoneill 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think at 12 that I was just learning about my body and exploring it. I don't think it's abnormal for a girl of 12 to just be finding out what feels good to her body. It's normal and times are changing. I realize that 12 seems too young, but we all discover our bodies at some point.
I don't think that I would talk to her about exploring her body. It may be very embarrassing for her to listen to a talk about that and may even discourage her from doing what's consider normal.
I think as a parent, you are doing an excellent job because you are aware and because you are not afraid to talk to your child. Keep up the good work!
2006-12-14 23:01:39 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
It's normal, but don't talk to her about it! She will be SO embarrassed. Other parents will say go and talk to her, but I say don't. She will be embarrassed for the rest of her life. Just let her be. As long as she isn't out having sex with another guy, she is fine. But just give her "the talk", but don't bring up that you saw her masturbating.
2006-12-14 23:48:33 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Don't panic! And don't question her about it. Let it be. We all develope differently and you want her to be " okay" with herself.
You can cause some really touchy mental well being issues here if you decide to discuss it. Don't suddenly act differently towards her and don't start asking questions, if she has any she'll come to you.
Just be aware if she suddenly has "new" male friends. You might then consider having a dicussion about how sex is one of the biggest and most personal decisions she'll ever have to make and that she is going to have to be extremely mature in making that decision.
2006-12-14 22:43:20 · answer #7 · answered by Kris17 4 · 3⤊ 1⤋
It's not too young at all, espically not anything to worry about. It has nothing to do with boys either. Alot of little girls and boys, as scary as it is to her, start at like 3 or 4 and just dont realize what they are doing. It's completly normal. I dont blame you for being freaked out though either, I would be. She would probably be very embarassed if you just randomly talked about it with her, espically if she found out that you saw her. I am 18 and as close as I am with my mother I could never imagine talking to her about that, if she found out I did it.
2006-12-14 22:47:33 · answer #8 · answered by ME 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
no 12 is not too young. would you were her masterbate then to go out and try and have sex and get pregnant. It's perfectly normal. she only experimenting with her body. but whatever you do do not talk with her about becaus no teen wants to dicuss the issue of sex with their parents. just leave her alone.
2006-12-15 04:44:42 · answer #9 · answered by Chiquinn W 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
children develop a lot quicker these days and to be on the safe side i would sit down and have a big talk with her, the reaction she is making about the topic sex could easily be a cover, ive got a 13 year old sister inlaw that has already experimented in some sexual activities, so my advice would be to just sit down and talk to her it cant hurt...goodluck
2006-12-14 22:43:51 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋