Lack of confidence?

Question

I'm currently teaching a 45 year old lady. she is basically a good rider and is doing really well, she is now working at all gaits and is able to jump a max of 2'3. It seems though that we get to a certain point and all of a sudden she has a lack of confidence and we end up right back at the begining it is so frustrating. Does any one have any ideas on conquering her lack of confidence? Your help will be greatly appreciated.

Answer 1

The best bet is to reassure her all the time. Try and let her know that she is doing well.
Also make sure you let her know that you think she can do it. It should be very inspiring for her because you are the teacher, and therefore, the authority figure.
Just build up her confidence step by step by positive feedback and criticise her constructively if she makes mistakes. Explain how she can fix them rather than just pointing them out.
Good luck

Answer 2

I am a teacher myself, and I have a very limited experience of horse riding, but I do have at least some, that is the point. I remember the first time I sat on the back of a horse. The horse felt bigger, stronger and definately not very smooth. The earliest and strangest feelings that you are being carried along by something that is yet another living thing, have been unforgettable for me to this day. At that time, as far as I can remember, I did not feel any bit of confidence neither in myself and nor in the horse I was sitting on, while I was supposedly riding gracefully, or simply gliding effortlessly. I realised that a horse was not a machine like a motor car or a bus that I was normally use travel by, and enjoy, The problem was that I was mindful of the fact that a horse however well trained and groomed is basically a wild thing, an animal, with possibly a mind of it own, capable of erratic behaviour and unpredictable moves. The confidence came in time and with practice when I realises that a horse and a rider can be rhythmically complimentary to each other both in motion and in movement like a single harmonious system.

Confidence comes from within us, and therefore the roots of lack of confidence, or sudden loss of spontaneity is also at the inside of our mind. In general we become confident with a better knowledge, proper understanding and above all adequate experience of things and situations that we encounter. The boost in confidence comes from assurance through our accomplishments and achievement - we knew we could do this, we were confident enough, but now we know for sure that we can do this. On the other hand bad experiences, lack of adequate knowledge or proper understanding can drain our reserves of ability to go where we have never gone before. Our capabilities are always greater than our abilities, but the expansion of our mind into our fullest capacity only comes from experience – by taking risk and trying things our.

The particular point that I want to make here is that the time and effort we put in developing our mental abilities require us act pre-emptively with a strong will to succeed and achieve new things. This is linked to our self-image that we always yearn to improve, and to our self-esteem. But somehow, somewhere along the track, due to some limitative past experiences in the repertoire of our mind, we learn not to grant us this extra will to succeed, or wish to achieve things above and beyond all things we have. We know we have to overcome hurdles and obstacles that are entirely new to us. We have to go beyond experience we do not have, and the knowledge that is marred with every possible doubt in our mind.

During the exciting processes of discovering new ground of our abilities in our mind, it is we who pull the reins of our minds at wrong times and for wrong reasons. We hold ourselves back because we do not like to achieve what we set out to achieve at the first place. The sudden lose of spontaneity and confidence can be due to our inherent inhibitions, that after a certain limit we start feeling that we are not worthy achieving anything any further – an arrogant humbleness.

Answer 3

Maybe she feels her seat is insecure and needs to include more groundwork to be able to go forwards?
Also, try a visualisation technique. Ask her to remember what it felt like to be a complete beginner. Ask her to put herself back in that image, and to try to imagine what it would have been like if she could have seen herself in the future - now - successfully completing tasks.
Then ask her to repeatedly see herself successfully jumping a 3' fence at some point in the future. (thats realistic, the Puissance isn't!) She has to repeatedly go over the image.
It works a bit like memory, but in reverse!

If she can't do that then ask her to figure out whats blocking the version of her in the image. What happens, does she fall off? Does the horse refuse?
If she can, then just seeing herself so it may be able to boost her confidence a bit; and repeating the fantasy helps it seem more realistic and achievable.
And I agree, she may just need more positive feedback about how far she's come. Try consolidating what she's learned so far.

Answer 4

Is it lack of confidence or a phobia of getting hurt/ heights etc.. you need to find out. Is there anywhere else you could teach her - different field/ format will make her re-assess all and it could just be that as she knows the circuit so well - she then blocks it when it gets out of her confort zone. In a different set up - she still has to have the confidence and set the jump slightly higher (not too significant) and then Surprise she has been able to do it.

Answer 5

Sometimes it boosts confidence to hear that they are good at what they do from someone else. Couldn't you bring someone in who is independent from the lessons to tell her she is good. What about entering her into something where she could win an award or certificate, just something to make her feel like she is doing well.

Answer 6

You could try riding together with her being blindfolded first. Then, without her being blindfolded. Finally, she does it alone. Step-by- step. I wish you success!

Answer 7

if you are telling her this she my have it in her mind that she is at her safe limit you have to force or push her through this barrier by two ways praise or shame good luck

Answer 8

try the whip on her as well as the horse.