I have been involoved with a man for three years. Once again she has found out. He actually told me to be patient and wait until things had calmed down. If I choose to stay in the relationship he will continue. I can't keep doing that to myself. But why would she want to hold on to him? She can pretend that the relationship has not been going on for three years, but she is not dumb she knows. The sad thing is even through I have no intentions of seeing him again he will find someone else, they always do.
2006-12-14 21:05:37 · 13 answers · asked by Redhead 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Why does she hold on to him? Obviously, because then she has a man. For protection, company, money, whatever / et cetera.
Why do YOU hold on to him? Because you can't find another man? Why, give it a try! If you find another, then you'll then forget about him very fast. Especially, if they have children and the man does treat them at least somewhat ok, this combined with his 3-year mistreatment of you, you have VERY little chance he will leave her. Yes, if he's involved with her first, then he is mistreating YOU, probably just for sex.
If they are married, or their relation lasts longer then the one with you, YOU are the one who has to stop the involvement.
That ofcourse, doesn't exclude the fact that the man also should stop the involvement with you. Or divorce his wife / or leave her. He has too choose. But because he doesn't, you have to do so, and quit the relation. Even IF he would leave her... Would you WANT a man who LEAVES HIS 'SOULMATE' AFTER THREE YEARS?? If you think he won't do the same with you... PLEASE think again.
There's no reason whatsoever you can trust him, if he after THREE YEARS still says YOU have to be patient!!! How on earth you can STILL believe that!!!
The last person of the three to question her own behaviour, is the other woman. She is, most of all, victim in this situation. Both you and the man are the ones who should rethink their doings.
2006-12-14 21:08:46 · answer #1 · answered by · 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Two main reasons: 1.) She is so in love with her man that she cannot believe that he would have done this of his own free will, and so he must have been seduced or manipulated into cheating. This is more frequent when a woman assumes that her man was truthful about having a girlfriend/wife, and that the other woman should have respected that (she's not naive, she's just a whore). 2.) She expects so little of her man's fidelity and self control (boys will be boys), and expects so much more of other women to first investigate his current relationship status (code between women). This is more frequent when a woman assumes that her man lied about having a girlfriend/wife, and that the other woman should have suspected that (she's not a whore, she's just naive). There are a few other possibilities, but most of them are based upon one of the two listed above. Either way, they're also methods for women to avoid blaming themselves for CHOOSING men who cheat. In example 1, he wouldn't have cheated if the other woman hadn't tempted him. In example 2, all men cheat and the other woman should have known that.
2016-03-13 07:14:47 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
As far as I am concerned Why are you holding on? He still loves his wife, no matter what he may tell you. "other Women" (although I have another word for people like you) are nothing but a piece of *** when they want it. He may tell you he loves you etc etc, the truth is he wishes you never existed at all!! If he loved you and not his wife, he would be with you and dont say its not that easy. If he is having an affair with you, she obviously does not have him handcuffed to the kitchen table. She is hanging on because he probably tells her how sorry, aashamed, etc etc he is. He will get what is coming to him, he will eventually lose the women he really loves in his heart (his wife). People like you should find a man of your own and leave the married ones alone. You are a bunch of pathetic people that will sleep with anothers spouse. Yes, the spouse is wrong for cheating but, you don't help matters at all. You are a HOOCH!!!!
2006-12-15 01:17:38 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
she loves him and when theres a threat of loosing someone, women always try to save what they love. maybe they didn't have such a good relationship, but u are the other woman, the one in her marriage, u can't just justify that if u and he split up he will just go find another, still doesn't let u off the hook. yes they may cheat again, but your presence in the marriage hinders them from working it out. and why would u want him, the same thing may happen to u, if u were married to him. let them try and work it out, move on. sure she is going to try and keep him, even if she does know about you. good for her that she has the courage to stick it out. most wives don't. just because she know's of u, doesn't mean she doesn't love her husband, it isn't all about you lady.
2006-12-15 05:02:49 · answer #4 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What would make you want someone who is already married, and is such a lowlife that they'd cheat on their spouse?
If women stopped believing the silly bs...the "Oh my wife doesn't understand me" and "She doesn't care about me, just my paycheck and the children", then it would get alot harder for men to cheat.
Reality..chances are the wife understands him REALLY well, and she cares more about the paycheck and the children because they don't lie to her.
2006-12-14 21:16:32 · answer #5 · answered by Kaia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe things weren't working out between them...but he still loves her... 3 years is a lot of time
2006-12-14 21:11:01 · answer #6 · answered by LuLu 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are rigth dear
my story is very sad
i have two child with a pakistani and he always says to me he loves me so much and i am the only one in his life
and our baby is only 5 month when i come to know he just made a second wedding with a young lady in pakistan
he was telling her that we are separate when we just got married after 6 years just 3 month before his second wedding
and then he was telling me at same time that he will join me and stay all life with me !!!!!!!!!!!!!
he is real lier and cheater
and i come to know his second wedding afterward from one of his friend because he never had intension to tell me
really hurting
so now i thanks god that he deliver me from such a monster who have been only with me to get europ resident card and also made childrens with me to get a europeen nationality
2006-12-14 21:13:03 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I totally agree with these other people..it is outta habit and when someone cheats on u it crushes your self-esteem , making u feel inadequate. so u tend to think u aren't good enough to leave
2006-12-14 21:13:27 · answer #8 · answered by freesiahigh7814 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he was going to leave her then three years is a lot of time. Maybe he wants to stay with her but told you something else....
2006-12-14 21:08:10 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is holding on to him out of habit.
2006-12-14 21:08:14 · answer #10 · answered by Bella 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋