Indian girls/woman, if u had a choice, would u still choose arranged marriage?

Question

Arranged marriages are a norm in most of the Indian families where parents choose suitable partners for their children.
Women get the bad end of the deal coz not only dont they not know anything about the guy they marry, they have to give dowry, they are the ones who are expected to change, adjust, compromise, sacrifice according to their husband's desires.
So, girls, if u had the choice and ur parents would allow, would u choose arranged marriage or would u prefer to choose a person urself who is compatible and who u love, respect for an equal partnership of life?

I have witnessed many unhappy women in their 'good' marriages.The wives seem to have lost their identity, their passion.They just exsist obeying every desire of their husband and are treated like doormats.They do not love their husbands nor are they compatible but she gives up being herself to make the marriage work, she endures all kind of abuse and disrespect.......bcoz in the society, it would be said, '' this is how things are meant to be and that it is her duty/moral responsibility towards the marriage.

Answer 1

I'm from the same desi nationality, but I live in the U.S. When I was little, to my teenage years, even in college, there was a double standard. From 2000-2005, My parents wanted me to work and support them, and clean the house, cook, and be a house maid. I decided to move out so I can finish my degree. I became 20K in debt just trying to support them, because the boys in the family just didnt work that much. They always talk about arrange marriage for me, and tell me how I'm not going to be a good wife because I wont bow down to my future husband, I have decided that I'm going to marry outside my race. Im with my causasian best friend for several years and he grow up with the desi culture, understands my culture, he's an engineer, he has desi friends, eats desi food, and learning hindi for me, so he can prove my parents that he can treat me right and still not be a bigot like indian men. I'm sorry to generalize, but most indian men are mama's boys. I have one life to live, and I'm not going to live to please others. I have been there and done trying to please people that are not going to be happy for me. When I have children, I will give them choices.

Answer 2

Granted, I'm not an Indian girl, but I have to respond to this: Marriage shouldn't have to be a business matter, but a choice for two people who are in love and want to be together. Arranged marriages in this day and age are only a recipe for disaster.

Answer 3

i prefer choose a person myself

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