I have two sets of friend (Both sets are husband and wife) who I have introduced to each other, one set is actually God Parents to my child - this set unfortunatly we had a big bust up with, but we are trying to patch things up.
My wifes sister is getting married abroad and they are all invited. They have been phoning each other to arrange to travel together and they have not been in contact with me or my wife! Also to the point they have been phoning my wifes sister to let her know of their movements!!
Clearly I am dissapointed and angry and feel my name is mud along with my wifes (they must be talking about the "bust up") - Its really sad and I feel it is shallow - I introduced them for heavens sake!
How should I react - whats my next move!
2006-12-14 19:41:58 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Hi. Well firstly they are your friends, so you should be able to talk to them and tell them how you feel. Let them know how you are feeling about everything, that you not happy. If after that still nothing is worked out, then leave it. You did your part, and so you are the better person for having confronted them about everything.
2006-12-14 19:48:58 · answer #1 · answered by MC 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sound more like the behaviour of school children than adults but well.... You and your wife make your own plan on getting to the wedding. As she is the Bride's sister you can organise your travels with that of the main wedding party and be supportive of your wife's sister - after all it is her wedding and no one should spoil her day. As for your Friends - carry on trying to patch things up - ignore the jibes - as you do not know what exactly they are talking about do not make assumptions or these friendships will have no future as you have lost all trust in them. The bust up must have been over a serious matter and now both sides need to start trusting each other once more - if this can not be achieved then walk away and have a platonic relationship - at least you know that something good did come out of your initial friendship - maybe later in life they will also realise that!
2006-12-15 03:54:08 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
this all sounds very childish, let them have their little 'clique' it's not the school yard for goodness sake. You're all grown ups, you can't force them to be friends with you, maybe the couple you had a bust up with has put the boot in and told the other couple how it was 'all your fault' but if the other couple have gone along with it and are now ignoring you too then not only are they very shallow and childish but very judgemental too. The argument was with the first couple so the second couple should keep their noses out and stop following gossip. Why would you want to be friends with people like this any way? When you go to the wedding don't give them the satisfaction of letting them know how upset you are, be extra nice, and say how pleased you are to see them. It's your sister in laws wedding, you and your wife are family they are just guests, don't give this rubbish another thought, find some knew friends who are actually adults this whole thing is ridiculous.
2006-12-15 06:41:20 · answer #3 · answered by Smoochy Poochy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all I think you should call the couple you had the bust up with, and ask them around for a drink or meal and try to work your differences out.
But just because you introduced the couple, does not give you soul right on there relationship with each other. You should be pleased they get on. And once the bust up has been resolved you will have your two sets of friends back.
But once you have made up, put it behind you, let it go and don't dwell on it or it will spoil the friendships for ever. Sheila.
2006-12-15 04:00:03 · answer #4 · answered by she shaw sea shore 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dude dont react one bit.... it will make you look like a silly school girl.... Just ride the wave and see what happens. They get along and have arranged something, so what? Does this mean that everytime they want to do something together they have to phone you first?.
You also said they are obviously talking about the bust up... they probably have talked about it as it more than likely would come up in conversation but you could be being paranoid to what extent... chill out dude and stop being a girl
2006-12-15 03:48:43 · answer #5 · answered by 2 good 2 miss 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is no reason to feel the way you feel.I'm sure that no one was trying to hurt you.It wasn't intentional.
You should call them or have dinner all together and try to work things out, but please, don't start with "i introduced you for heavens sake" or something similar.Try to find out why they did that and how they feel.
If they really are your friends, everything will work out well and everybody will enjoy being into a different country and be a part of a wonderful wedding.
Good luck.
2006-12-15 03:55:51 · answer #6 · answered by amandarosallyn 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ive had a bust up with one of my friends even though i wouldnt call it a bust up well she has just stopped comin over i used to take her son to school every morning with my kids but after i had a word with her the day before about her son on a personal matter he stopped comin round for lifts and i havent seen her since i drove passed her the other day and waved but she just gave me a stinkin look.So dont worry about it cos im not lettin it get to me i cant be bothered with people so imature (she was a couple of yrs yonger tn me) and childish.Just go to the wedding and if they talk to you just show them youre not bothered.
2006-12-15 04:07:13 · answer #7 · answered by pinkdragon 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't bother contradicting them...just travel with your wife and enjoy HER company and let your so-called 'friends' know it! at the wedding, don't make a point of sitting as far away from them as possible but don't go and deliberately sit next to them either-and if they see you (which i'm guessing they will) acknowledge them and if they talk to you, talk back, but act completely nonchalant-you know, you don't care because you have your wife with you, it's HER company you want and they can't be the only friends you've got, so even if they do continue to act like immature sods, it shouldn't affect you long term...hope this helps
2006-12-15 16:21:28 · answer #8 · answered by arydia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe speak to your wifes sister and see whats been said or going on - maybe be the bigger person adn call them and have a chat dont even mention anything about your fall out talk about the wedding
i wouldn't leave it till the wedding as there might be an atmosphere and you feel awkward
good luck
2006-12-15 04:00:39 · answer #9 · answered by Pebbles 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i know this may seem way pettier to you, but i have a similar problem with a friend of mine at school. my best friend and i introduced her to a group of people from our class who we were friends with, and she sucked up big time and now she is in their group and goes out with them all the time and we never do! i know you probably dont care but it just p****s me off! whatever you do, dont make a huge thing out of it anf start an argument, theyll say theyre sorry but theyll just continue doing it, trust me ive tried it. what you should do is, when you see them at the wedding or whatever, say a casual hello but dont talk to them, dont be rude or anything, if they talk to you, just be pleasant, but act like you dont give a s**t that they arent your friends anymore, itll make them wonder why you arent fuming with anger. oh and get some new friends!
2006-12-15 17:29:49 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋