my girlfriend soon to be wife is 5 months pregnant and it might not be mine what to due stay or leave?

Question

we have been seeing each other for a year or so. In aug of 2006 we moved in together. mid aug. we found out she was pregnant we where both so happy but back in july we were still seeing other people and there is another guy she spend one knight with

not sure how i will handle it after 9 months helping and caring for her if the test would say its not mine

Answer 1

DNA test - If it's yours luv and care for that kid like there's no tomorrow, if it's not you're a bigger man than me!

Answer 2

First, have her check with her doctor to see if they can do in utero DNA testing if it is that big of a deal to you. If they can with no risk to the baby then you will know long before the remaining 4 months.
If she can't do that then you need to assume the baby isn't yours and search your heart. What does it tell you?
If, after the baby is born, you don't think you could love him/her then you need to leave. Do not stick around out of a sense of duty because you will just become bitter and the child will suffer for something that they had nothing to do with. Children would rather come from a broken home than live in one.
Remember, this is about what is best for the baby not you or your fiance.

Answer 3

there is no easy answer for a situation like this. however, if you love your partner enough obviously to plan marriage, then personally it shouldn't matter. it takes more than someones contribution of sperm to be a dad. eg having a loving, practical, financially contributing person in the childs life that accepts him/her as their child is what really matters. if this other guy is not on the scene and your girlfriend has no intention of involving him, then i would say it may be better left alone. you are the one that will be in the child's life after all. however if this is something you cannot live not knowing, or really feel it will affect the future of your relationship, it may be best to pursue a dna test. there is a test that can be performed during pregnancy but it is not recommened. eg 'amniocentecis' - injection of fluid is taken from the umbillical cord i think, and swabs from the partners (mouth). but the mother must consent. i believe there may be risks, but you would need to speak to your doctor. if the mother disagrees to do this, then you would need to wait til birth for a 'dna' test. this costs approximately £500. the most reputable is 'cellmark'. this is stuff ive researched before, not experienced personally!

Answer 4

Well around the time she conceived you were both seeing other people, right? So, its not like she cheated on you. If you really love this woman, the paternity of the child would not affect your decision to stay or leave. While it's possible to get a DNA test before the child is born, it's highly unlikely that anywhere will do this because it's not common. Usually they can pinpoint it right down to a few days of when the child was concieved and if she just spent one night with one other person, the chances are high that this child is yours.

Answer 5

Grow up and be a man. She didn't cheat on you. If you love her it shouldn't matter. Do you think the father (if not you) will want to take care of the baby? If your the kind of person that would see the baby as a daily reminder of your wife doing the nasty with another dude then just get out now. I'll tell you this, it takes more than goop to make you a father. If you are there, and you take care of the baby, and you love it like a father. Then you are the father. Best wishes and God bless.

Answer 6

I believe if you truly love her that this wouldn't be a issue. Why spend $500 on a dna test? I know the thought of it not being yours is probably eatin at you but who the father is isn't what matters. It is who cares and loves for the baby that matters. I had this happen to me, my mom had me to an abusive guy then shortly after she kicked him out I was 1 1/2 and by a yr later she had a loving b/f and 5 yrs later married. He didn't care I wasn't his, he loved me like I was his. Now that I am all grown up even tho. I know my biological father I asked my stepdad to walk me down the aisle at my wedding cause to me he was my dad. So I hope this helps cause I believe if you truly love her why bother.

Answer 7

You really sound unsure of whether or not you'd want to be around if it isn't yours.

Maybe you're not ready to marry her, till after the baby is here and a DNA test can be done. Consider that, carefully.

Some guys are really good at fathering a child simply because the baby needs a father. No problems in their heads about whether the baby is theirs or not. ... When baby comes, you might fall in love with the little tyke, and stay anyway.

Search your heart. Only you can answer your questions.

Answer 8

if you love her then you will love her child. it doesn't just take dna to be a father.

you say soon to be wife so obviously you have strong feelings for her, and at least she has been honest about a potential other dad and not just tried to get on with it, i mean how would you feel if she told you 18 years from now?

i would say find out if you need to for your peace of mind, but otherwise don't let this get in the way of a happy relationship.

if the baby isn't yours then think of it as though she'd already had a child before you came along, because you weren't exclusive before you moved in together.

good luck with everything and don't lose out because of this it's neither of your faults!

Answer 9

It's totally up to you, my Dad has always treated me and my siblings equally even though Mum already had a child before they got together and the second there is some doubt over who the father is!

I'd definitely have a paternity test done, if you love her enough it shouldn't really matter. I know sometimes love isn't enough but it's not like she cheated on you because you were having an open relationship.

If you do stick by her please remember you may not be the child's father but you will always be the child's dad and it's not their fault that their genes are different to yours.

Answer 10

Wait unitl the baby is born and have a paternity test done. I had the same situation with my boyfriend, only I knew along that our daughter was his. He had heard some rumors and taken them a bit more seriouselty than he needed to, anyways, if the kid is yours you will regret not being there for the important things during her pregnancy, aka. ultrasounds, important mile-marks, and the birth of course. This doesn't mean you have to "be" with her, but that's just a choice you will have to come to on your own. Best fo Luck! Elisha Marie.

Answer 11

No, she needs to stop nicely previously her third trimester. There are study that say that if a woman quits by using week sixteen, there is in simple terms no longer to any extent further probability of unfavourable issues happening than in a common being pregnant, yet who incredibly needs to threat it? i'm a smoker, and have been for it gradual. for the duration of my being pregnant replaced into the sole time i've got ever incredibly been able to stop because of the fact i replaced into terrified that the subsequent cigarette would desire to be the single that did something undesirable! Please inspire her to stop. i comprehend it incredibly is incredibly incredibly annoying, even though it incredibly is significant. Many babies born to mothers who smoke for the duration of being pregnant come out nice, yet some do no longer. If she desires help, ascertain she gets it from a doctor, therapist, boyfriend who hides all her cigarettes, etc...