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what do i do? i've already confronted her about it.

2006-12-14 18:12:28 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships Friends

14 answers

If you've already confronted her about it, what else do you think there is that you can do? It obviously bothers you. Are there things that she does that you do like? It sounds like you may need to re-evaluate your friendship with her.
If this isn't possible, then another approach is necessary. Can you help her to see the positive side of things? Or, will this only make her question you and threaten any trust the two of you share? It's a tough thing, but, the longer you have to hear this 'smack,' the sooner your own values are going to crumble. Sounds like you have strong ones, otherwise this wouldn't bother you. I hope you can make a decision that can preserve your friendship and your sanity at the same time. Good luck!

2006-12-14 18:24:41 · answer #1 · answered by M.C. 4 · 0 0

I know what you are talking about, because a person I am close to often says negative things about others. I find it draining.

First, you can refuse to listen to it. Allowing your friend to gossip to you is not helping anyone. It brings your attitude down and enables her. So I have found that, while it's hard to say, you can say things like, "I'd rather to continue to think well of that person." or "Can we change the topic to something more upbeat?" If you feel that a negative comment is coming, you can change the subject. I think this takes a lot of energy that I find sometimes draining, but at least you won't be dragged down by the negative talk.

Also, consider what might be causing your friend to do this. Perhaps your friend feels inadequate and feels that she needs to put others down to feel better about herself. Perhaps your friend is suffering from mental illness like depression that makes it difficult for her to see things in an optimistic way. I think you might want to tell your friend that you've noticed that she doesn't seem to have a very positive perspective, that you're concerned about her, and that you'd be happy to help her find counseling from either an ecclesiastical leader or a mental health professional.

2006-12-14 18:20:46 · answer #2 · answered by drshorty 7 · 0 0

It's time to get a new friend. There are a million other people in this world that could be a better friend. All she's doing is holding you back. Go ahead, I bet you have someone you come across ever day that you over look that could be a way better way. Oh and your friend has self-esteem issues. If you really want to keep her and you have the time then you could bring this to her attention and help her out.

2006-12-14 18:16:43 · answer #3 · answered by Chetaraparker 2 · 0 0

I know there is nothing worse (to me) than a friend who is in constant gossip mode. I would try to just say things like I don't know about that... and well you certainly aren't perfect.... and trying to change the subject. Ultimately people who talk about others all the time negatively have no life of their own so they must talk about others.... and/or they hate their life and have no self-esteem that talking bad about others builds them up (at least temporarily) I would try to tell her when the opportunity presents itself that you are not into judging other people all the time, and that you are really uncomfortable with it, so if she could please refrain from doing so in your company you'd grately appreciate it.

2006-12-14 18:18:43 · answer #4 · answered by sassinya 6 · 0 0

Why would you want to be friends with someone like that? Tell her if she can't stop talking smack about everyone that you no longer want her as your friend.

2006-12-14 23:47:34 · answer #5 · answered by doglady 5 · 0 0

Hmm.. you are able to sit down along with her and say all of this to her and enable her understand... And in simple terms tell her that those men are immature. I truthfully hate men who breaks a woman's coronary heart... i will't ruin a woman's coronary heart in any respect. tell her that she ought to take a ruin and surely be pals with a guy " for a whilst" perhaps like a 2 months to work out what he's able to and surely get to understand him and prefer him... seems as though she jumps from guy to guy, and no offense yet it relatively is kinda whore like, yet she's in many situations no longer the single to break up, so she's in all probability in simple terms searching for the main suitable one. in simple terms tell her that men come and circulate and multiple men obtainable in simple terms harm thoughts and she or he desires to be with a guy who surely loves her for her and would not do something to wreck her. tell her that that she desires to locate a extra mature guy who would not tutor off on front his pals.. and in step with probability she's going for the extra nicely-known men or something. She desires a guy who surely does his abode artwork and has exceptional grades lol. no longer those that fool around in college. Cuz ur it style of feels as tho ur in middle college as u suggested " pregnant by making use of severe college " and men there are immature. So in simple terms tell her that.. particularly desire I Helped

2016-10-14 23:50:09 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0 0

well you have to tell her that you don't enjoy her company this way and you don't like being rude to other people ..if she continues then ignore her and try to show your ignorance right when she's smacking people .let her to know that your friendship might be destroyed for this reason ..

2006-12-14 18:16:33 · answer #7 · answered by Mysterious 6 · 0 0

Avoid her,and pick more happy people to be around right now.Tell her that you love her but you don't want to be around her negativity right now,and when she has gotten all of that out of her system,to come find you and you will gladly be her friend again..

2006-12-14 18:18:36 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1 0

Any person who says bad things about other people is DEFINITELY talking bad about you to other people as well. Lose this person because this person is no friend to you.

2006-12-14 18:18:29 · answer #9 · answered by beckini 6 · 0 0

drop her off at Camp Pendleton

2006-12-14 18:15:58 · answer #10 · answered by Z 4 · 0 0

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